One of the benefits of having to shell out the semolians to send Zippy the Monkey Boy to a private school is that he gets to do projects that would not only never occur to a public-school teacher, but, if it did, would certainly be squashed by a nervous administration.
To wit: Zippy the Monkey Boy’s final exam/end-of-year project in world religions was to create his own religion.
No, they weren’t studying the life and times of L. Ron Hubbard, but were trying to synthesize all they had learned over the year by studying many of the world’s major religions, as well as a few of the more well-populated cults like Scientology or Mormonism. (Kidding. Kidding [sort of])
What I loved was the sheer audacity of the teacher. She actually thought there was a point to breaking down a religion’s beliefs in a logical and somewhat coherent manner, applying those logical steps toward the religion’s actual actions and then seeing if any conclusions could be drawn. This is, of course, impossible. Religions, by their very nature, insist on faith, which is the belief in something that can’t be proved. If there is no possibility of proof, there can be no logical outcomes derived from systematic study of the religion.
Still, it did provide the students with a handy way to break down religions and then take a look at the different innards, and the similar skeletons.
All of which lead them to create their own religion. Zippy the Monkey Boy, being the child of technology that he is, decided he would create a religion based on how technology is good. I’m thinking this is his subtle way of saying, “Dude, you should definitely buy me the high-end computer. It’ll be good for my Gods.”
His religion of Cosmocism postulates that our reality is a simulation, being run by two Cosmic Gods out in the Greater Reality. The Gods are running various simulations because, while they calculated themselves into being, they realize there still are unanswered questions and, before they start messing with the Greater Reality, they want to run the numbers in a simulation first.
Yeah, you could say he’s been reading some of the latest science (fiction) dealing with computer science. I thought it was a pretty cool aggregation of various bits of fantasy and reality. I can actually see something like this coming into being in the not too distant future. Of course, that’s assuming we continue to be a culture that actually lifted a sentient bowl of pasta up to goodhood.
Still, a dude’s gotta dream. I just never expected his dream to be the founding prophet of a religion.
*With apologies to R.E.M.
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