Tag Archives: Y Chromosome

Charlotte Parent: Asking For Help Doesn’t Make You Weak

What is it about the Y chromosome that prevents dudes from asking for help?

Dudes need to stop trying to muscle their way through life and ask for help.Heck, the Human Genome Project, which mapped every single gene on every single chromosome in the human genetic code, was formed specifically to answer that question.*

Yet it remains unanswered.

Today, over at Charlotte Parent, I’ll be talking about why dudes don’t and dudettes do ask for help, why that might happen and why most of those reasons are straight-out wrong. As usual, I’ll be blogging under our Stay-At-Home Dudes column name.

Join us, won’t you?


*It really wasn’t.

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Why Are They?

Why are men such morons?

Every little while, I’ll go digging deep into the metadata here at A Dude’s Guide . . . to Everything and what I find is sometimes a big of an experience.

For instance, take that question a couple of sentences above here. No, really. Take it. This kind of thing just annoys the heck out of me.

I mean, let’s look at the assumptions behind this, all right, dudes? First off, since the Questioner was asking about men being morons, that would imply that being a moron is something only men do? After all, Q didn’t ask about people being morons. This interrogative simply assumes that men are, in fact, morons and is asking the reason for this totally believable state of affairs.

Yes, I’ll readily admit that some men are morons. Huge, drooling, mouth-breathing morons. No question. However, that state of being isn’t reserved simply for those sporting a Y chromosome. I’ve run into plenty of the ladies who wouldn’t know what to do with an original thought if it snuck up on them and slapped them in the face with a semi-conscious cod.

Morons cross the gender barrier with a great deal of ease.

But you don’t see anyone asking why women are morons, now do you? Instead, the most common question you hear asked about women is something along the lines of “What do women want? I’ll never understand them.”

Basically, both questions are looking to pierce the same heart of darkness: they don’t understand the motivations that drive the opposite sex. However, in both cases, in both questions, the dudes are to blame Either men are morons because of the way they act, or they are morons because they can’t figure out what women want.

Seems as if the deck is a bit stacked there, yeah?

And, really, neither gender is all that hard to figure out.

Women want what they want, when they want it because they want it. Unless they don’t want it.

See? Dead easy.

Men aren’t morons. Really, we’re not. We are simple beings at heart. The vast majority of us seek physical comfort, a group to which we can belong, and a chance to run riot every once in a while, as long as we’re not causing permanent damage.

Again, dead easy.

If anyone sat down and thought about this seriously for about five minutes, it would all be solved and we could go home early, maybe score some steaks for the grill and sit in our chairs watching football. Or something.

The problem isn’t in what men and women are. The problem is what we say.

Which is a perfect time to say I’m outta here for the day. We’ll reconvene tomorrow and I’ll finish my thought. Provided I can actually come up with something semi-intelligent sounding between now and then to fill in the space.

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Digital Dads: It’s That Time

Digital Dads is a sideline I’m exploring in which I’ll be talking about ways we dads can use modern technology to make our lives and those of our families so much easier.

Or at least not muck things up so much. Again, we dudes probably have slightly lower expectations. Just live with it.

So, here’s the deal.

For a while, I was the stay-at-home dad. I was responsible for my appointments, the appointments of three active young dudes and for knowing where and when would be my loving bride, known to me as She Who Must Not Be Late.

I wasn’t very good at it.

Of course, I had the wall calendar with appointments for each little dude in a different color, mine in black. That should have worked great. In fact it probably would have worked great if I had actually taken the time to look at the week’s worth of appointments before the week began.

I was always forgetting about one thing or another and having to race places that I should have been at with plenty of time. Or reschedule. It was a mess and a certain someone who did not have a Y chromosome, and yet lived in our house, was not happy about it.

And then the future arrived. With my futurephone, I found a much better way to actually keep track of appointments and remember them. I found the synching calendar.

Oh, what a joy.

I could still use the different colors for different little dudes, but this time they would each have their own separate Google calendar online. I could display each calendar together or by itself.

Even better, I could set alarms to go off which would remind me — in plenty of time — so I could actually go where I was supposed to go when I was supposed to be there.

Also, I could share those calendars with the wife, known to me as She Who Must Be Kept In The Loop, so she would know what was going on even if I wasn’t there.

Now, I’m not saying I’m perfect about this stuff. No, far from it. Still, this is a much better state of affairs now than it has been in the past.

If you don’t have this sort of set-up, you need to get one. Fast. If you do have a futurephone, start using your calendar program to fullest advantage. Put everything in there. And give it an alarm. It works. Once you get started with this and get used to the way it works, you’ll wonder how you ever lived without it.

Try google.com/calendar if you want to use something that can be seen by people who don’t have your phone in hand. That is, everyone else but you.

It really works.

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