The middle young dude, Zippy the Monkey Boy, goes to a private school, which means we pay (out the nose) for his education. And the lovely thing is this means it’s like he’s going to college for four years before he goes to college.

Anyway, there are times when he’s overjoyed to be going there and [...]]]> by Richard

The middle young dude, Zippy the Monkey Boy, goes to a private school, which means we pay (out the nose) for his education. And the lovely thing is this means it’s like he’s going to college for four years before he goes to college.

Anyway, there are times when he’s overjoyed to be going there and I’m a little suspect. Today is one of those times.

Every year, the high school portion of his school packs up and the young dudes and dudettes head out to camp. Yes, they’re going to Camp Cheerio, the same place Zippy the Monkey Boy, Hyper Lad and Sarcasmo, have spent so many happy summer months.

Now, the school says this three-day excursion is an exercise in team building and getting the students into a different setting to work on their educations and their approach to learning.

Me? I’m thinking it’s more of a mini-vacation for a group of students, who already have far too many days off during the school year.

Yes, I am turning into a grumpy old man. Why do you ask?

Zippy the Monkey Boy loves it, though, so I’ve decided to quit griping. At least in public. Well, at least where he’s likely to notice it anyway.

The good news is that it’ll be two days where I won’t have to actually dynamite the young dude out of bed on school mornings and that’s always good for my blood pressure.

So, I guess, cheers!

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So, the other weekend, She Who Must Lead The Way and I flew down to Miami for a “conference.” I put the words in quotes because She Who Must Have Her Time Off didn’t spend all that much time learning, but did spend a lot of time loafin’. So that was good.

But what I want [...]]]> by Richard

So, the other weekend, She Who Must Lead The Way and I flew down to Miami for a “conference.” I put the words in quotes because She Who Must Have Her Time Off didn’t spend all that much time learning, but did spend a lot of time loafin’. So that was good.

But what I want to talk about was the plane flight down and what happened during.

To start with, I was running late, which meant that I had to meet She Who Must Not Be Kept Waiting at the airport. Where I kept her waiting. Which was not good. For me.

Despite no air conditioning, one security station closed down forcing humongous lines in the remaining security stations, a slightly malfunctioning full-body scanner (which probably has some great pictures saved in its hard drive for later perusal) and a nice pat down, we made it to the gate on time and even boarded on time. Despite the rapidly encroaching thunderstorm.

We were relieved. We figured we were on the plane on time so we’d take off on time. Not so fast, dude. We got to wait at the gate and on the runway a grand total of more than an hour and a half. And the enjoyable part was our flightmates. About 70 percent of the passengers were Italians from Italy on vacation here. About half of them were drunk. And about half of them were amazingly, loudly drunk. I had to be told this because, of course, I’ve never actually experienced this for myself.

*ahem*

Anyway, the amazingly, loudly drunk Italians eventually passed out. At which point, the Italian kiddies decided it was a good time to get unclipped and start running around the plane. At which point, the flight attendants began drawing straws to see who got to commit hari-kari first and who had to live through the flight.

Eventually we got in the air (despite on of the little Italian dudes being in the aisle during takeoff) and took off, to the accompaniment of loud snores and falling droplets of sweat from the poorly functioning air conditioning. Nice start to the trip, yeah?

So, anyway, here’s the very, very odd bit. About 10 minutes before we landed, one of the formerly passed out Italians decided it was time to get up and take care of some business. After a couple of minutes, he exited the bathroom in a cloud of cigarette smoke.

Yes, he’d gone to the bathroom for a quick smoke. On an airplane. In flight. The flight attendant had to visibly restrain herself from physically going after the dude. She, and the rest of the (conscious) passengers around us, were incredulous. None of us could believe it.

But the best part was yet to come. That arrived when we got down, taxied to the gate and then had to wait another half hour for the air marshalls and police to arrive so they could arrest the poor, drunk Italian man who just couldn’t wait another ten minutes for a smoke.

I see this has gone on for a bit too long. I’m gonna break here and resume tomorrow.

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After about a decade of service, most of the lives of our little dudes, we decided to get a new car back in 2007. My wife, known to me as She Who Must Be Out Of Her Mind, was insisting on an SUV.

Something about how, being a dude I’d be more comfortable driving one of [...]]]> by Richard

After about a decade of service, most of the lives of our little dudes, we decided to get a new car back in 2007. My wife, known to me as She Who Must Be Out Of Her Mind, was insisting on an SUV.

Something about how, being a dude I’d be more comfortable driving one of those. However, being the person primarily responsible for driving our now-not-so-little dudes around, I knew a minivan would provide more room for them so stretch out and not be in each other’s face during long trips. I also had a lot invested in trying to live up to the minivans are cool philosophy I’d been trying to convince other people about.

It’s true. Minivans are cool. (Rinse. Repeat.)

Anyway, while I liked the idea of automatic sliding doors and better gas mileage, the little dudes were most excited about the idea that the new Jonesmobile would have a DVD player installed inside the car. They loved the thought that they could watch TV while riding in the car. For them, that was really the arrival of the future in their lives.

We all remember our own childhood car experiences. Long trips with the family. Sitting in the back seat, no seat belts of course, trying to keep down the greasy hamburger while jerking back and forth on the busted shocks and rusting springs. Trying to move your head in rhythm to the car while keeping track of the words dancing on the page in your lap. Playing car games, counting license plates from Arizona or somewhere else exotic. Good times. Good times.

I also remember getting yelled at a lot by my parents because my sister was such a jerk. What? Well, it’s the way I remember it.

Now, though, we can take long, long drives, trips to anywhere, and have almost absolute quiet as the little dudes sit, strapped into their seats, staring slack jawed at the DVD screen and listening to their headphones. An actual quiet vacation drive. It was kind of creepy for the first couple of times not to have to break up fights every seven minutes. Now we only had to worry every hour and a half or so when they had to decide on the next movie.

It’s all good, yeah? No. Not really.

Because now the little dudes expect to be watching something every time they get in the car. If I let them, they’ll have a movie or Mythbusters DVD running at all times. Take a five-minute trip to the grocery store? They’re watching a movie. Drive to the movie theater? They’re watching a DVD movie in the back seat on the way there.

This constant need to be entertained in the car is getting on my nerve a bit. I barely get to hear a word from them during any car ride. I never thought I’d start to miss the sound of them yelling during a car ride.

So, what about you? Is the advent of the in-car DVD a good thing for you?

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