vacation

Me First And The Gimmie Gimmies*

Posted on January 18, 2010 at 12:01 am

by Richard

When dads sit down around the campfire after a long day of herding little dudes and cleaning up after them, there’s a cautionary tale that gets told to the shivers of the listeners. It goes something like this.

There was a family with three little dudes and or dudettes. It doesn’t matter. The family was planning a vacation to somewhere warm, sandy and delightful. As they were doing the final pack up, they heard the news. At the resort, a bird who’s species is on the verge of extinction had flown into the engine of a fully loaded jet as it was coming in for a landing. The jet went down in a ball of flame, killing all on board as well as wiping out the resort and causing a fire that devastated the tiny island.

“Oh, how horrible,” said the mom.

“That’s just terrible,” said the dad as he began to unpack their suitcases.

The middle little dude looked on, aghast. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

“Wait,” he said. “Why are you unpacking? That doesn’t affect me, does it? Well, find something else.”

And the group around the campfire shivers, knowing the little dude just didn’t get it. All he worried about was whether or not he was going to get something. The dads hoped they were raising their little dudes to be better than that. They picked up their plates of beans and started a fart contest. Whatddya want? They’re dudes.

The problem is that little dude’s reaction wasn’t all that unusual. There’s little dudes all over the world that only care about something if it affects them, or how they want to do stuff. I may, just may, know this from personal experience. Maybe.

I’m not sure why this happens. I’m not sure how a little dude becomes so focused on himself that he sees the entire world through the lens of how it will affect him. I think, though, there are some ways to work with the non-functional-brained little dudes.

One way is the bait and switch. Offer the little dude something he or she really wants, or says he or she does, and then make it contingent on doing something nice for someone more than once. Or tell them they can’t have it. And then give it to them only after they’ve made an unprompted gesture of niceness toward another member of the family.

I think we need to make sure kids like these widen their perspective more than a little bit. Let themselves see the outside world has more to offer and needs more from the people living in it than what happens to them.

*not the band, although they’re awesome.

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Oh, Glorious Day

Posted on January 4, 2010 at 12:01 am

by Richard

Here in North Carolina, today is a virtual holiday. It’s the day all three of my little dudes go back to school following the Christmas Winter Break. It was two weeks of fun, frolicking and fast food. It was also two weeks of a crowded house, cranky dudes and just a tiny bit of crushing pressure.

Either way, I think I need a vacation from my vacation.

Actually, it was pretty nice. We were in Dallas to visit with my dad’s side of the family, we had my wife’s, known to me as She Who Really Enjoys A Gift, family over at our house a lot, and even a visit from my brother-in-law and his family. The only thing missing was a visit with my mom and she’s coming up this month to see the little dudes play sports.

All in all, not a bad way to spend a couple of weeks. The only issue is that I like, no, need, to have a little alone time now and then. Not something I was likely to get around this many family members. In fact, other than the toilet, I can’t think of any time I wasn’t in eyeshot of a family member. Yeah, I spent a lot of time in the toilet.

Following this vacation, I think I can recommend for all us dudes that, when this sort of thing happens, we need to schedule out some time to renew our vigor and vim. That is, some time alone.

Which is something I’ll finally get today. With the little dudes off to school, or back to the salt mines as they like to say, and my better half back to work, I’ll have time to myself. Time to, well, work. Oh, and join the flood of moms and dads who hurl themselves into the gym this time of year to start resolutions they’ll have forgotten about by April. I’m telling you, it’s tough to get a spot on a elliptical machine during the winter/early spring months.

Still, it’s something I’m willing to go through. And so should you. Exercise is a great idea any time, but especially so when you need to get rid of a little stress, a certain tightness in your shoulder muscles from hunching your shoulder up around your ears in anticipation of the next scream, shout or squeal.

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Another Ending, Another Beginning

Posted on August 24, 2009 at 12:01 am

by Richard

Today is the day. The last day of summer vacation for public school students here in North Carolina. While Zippy the Monkey Boy has been in private school for about a week or so by now, this is the last day for my other two little dudes to enjoy the summer and really, really dread what’s coming next. And what’s coming next is yet another year of school. And another manila folder.

See, every year at the start of school, I get out three manila folders. On each one, I print one little dude’s name and the grade that little dude is in that year. During the school year, I collect their grades, their projects, slip in a couple of cool pictures, and put in anything else that catches my eye and I think they will want to see in 20 years. But collecting material for each folder is slightly bittersweet. Not only did I have to mark Speed Racer as a fifth grader and almost out of elementary school, and Zippy the Monkey Boy as a sophomore (again his grade finally matching his sense of humor), but I had to mark Sarcasmo as a *gulp* junior. There’s only two more school years and he’ll be off to college and out of the house.

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. It could go either way.

That’s the odd thing about summers. I love having more time to spend with the little dudes during summer, when we can go off and do fun stuff at the drop of a hat. However, summers also mean a severe decline in me time as the little dudes are around more, stay up later and generally eat into my time. Even with that, though, I can say I really love summers.

By the time late August approaches, I and the little dudes are — just a little bit — pining for school. They want to see their buddies at school again and I want to have a little time to myself, if only to get in more exercise so I don’t turn into more of a bloated tub of goo.

So, summer ended and I collected up the manila folders and carried them upstairs into the attic, where I have plastic storage boxes for each little dude. I’ve got school stuff dating back to 1998, when Sarcasmo hit kindergarten. I suppose I’ll have folders all the way through 2017, when Speed Racer is slated to graduate from high school.

I just hope the little dudes appreciate the little slices of their lives I’ve set aside for them to look at later on. A chance to see their lives as they were lived when they were little. I’ll have my memories and they’ll have their manila folders. Should be about even.

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