Tag Archives: Two Men

Down, Down, Down

by Richard

Hey, dudes.

Sorry for the mopes here, but I’m still a bit down in the dumps that my fellow North Carolinians decided it would be a good idea to restrict the civil liberties of a substantial portion of our citizenry with a stupid constitutional amendment.

Let’s face it: the reason people are against letting same-sex marriages go through is they’re squicked out by the thought of two men getting it on (or strangely attracted to the idea), so they want to get rid of it. Now, I’ve seen a lot of the women involved in this sort of thought-experiment-gone-wrong movement and I personally get squicked out by the thought of them getting it on. But you don’t see me spearheading a drive to have it declared illegal to marry them, do you?

No. No, you do not.

Not only that, but this opens up a whole ‘nother can of worms. I mean, how are they going to determine who’s a man and who’s a woman? Yes, I’m serious with that one.

There are genetic men who have had sex-reassignment surgery and are now living as women. There are genetic women who have had  sex-reassignment surgery and are now living as men. There are genetic disorders that give people more sex chromosomes than most people. Heck, Jamie Lee Curtis has an XY sex chromosome and you wouldn’t call her a man, would you?

It’s ridiculous, is what it is.

Two consenting adults should have the ability to marry and be legally supportive of each other if they want to do so.

And we just went ahead and took that right away from people because 60% of North Carolinians don’t like thinking about what those people do in their bedrooms. Grow up, people.

Sorry for the rant. You’re just lucky I accidentally deleted the one that was three times this long and filled with a lot more curse words. We’ll be back to normal tomorrow.

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First We Amend All The Lawyers

by Richard

Misquoting Shakespeare is always the best way to start off a genuine argument in which I’m trying to be taken seriously. I think I remember that from my public speaking class back in college. Of course, I could be misremembering the whole thing considering I was terrified throughout most of the actual class itself.

Not because of the public speaking, more because there was this really cute girl in the class and I had to keep myself under control so I didn’t blurt something out and un-impress her.

Anyway.

I didn’t misquote Shakespeare for any reason other than that I know most people will associate that title with the real quote, “First, we kill all the lawyers,” so I thought it would be a good way to equate amendment with kill.

Yep, I’m about to get all political on you dudes.

I’ve talked before, in passing, about the abomination that’s being passed off before the citizens of North Carolina as something that’s good for everyone. There’s something called Amendment One on the May 8 ballot that would restrict the definition of marriage to one man and one woman, instead of one robot and one octopus as it’s supposed to be.

What? It makes just as much sense as the actual Amendment One.

I just don’t understand the whole drive to keep gay men and lesbian women from being able to marry each other. They’re adults. They’re consenting. So, what’s the problem? I really don’t see one.

I don’t see how two men getting married will make your (not you, specifically, but you in general) marriage any less fundamentally sound than it is. What will we tell the children? opponents query in a quavering voice. Simple. Tell them that Bob and Steve love each other very much and so they decided to spend the rest of their lives together.

How is that difficult?

I mean, if you really are against gay marriage, don’t have one! It’s that simple.

The problem as I see it is that in this country we’ve sort of stashed sex up in this tiny box, called it something to be ashamed of, and then tucked it away deep in our subconscious. Because gays and lesbians are different from us, in such a fundamental way, in a way that we’ve already decided that we do it is sort of creepy and wrong, folks get all weirded out.

Two men want to get married? So what? Let them. Two women want to get married? So what? Let them.

Allowing two dudes or two women to get married is not hurting anyone. In fact, it’s probably setting a good example if you worry about that sort of thing, in that there are people who won’t be procreating who still want to sanctify their bonds for life. They’re not staying together because of the kids, but because they love each other.

Now that’s something you can tell the children.

Make sure you vote against Amendment One when it comes up for the right smacking it deserves on May 8. Don’t ever vote to restrict someone’s civil rights, especially if they’re different from you.

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Who’s On First?

by Richard

For those of you dudes who are younger than dirt, this might come as a surprise. One of the first and best comedy duos ever was comprised of two men: Bud Abbott (the skinny one) and Lou Costello (the fat one). And, yes, I am too young for this one as well. I just happen to have a vast storehouse of general knowledge, i.e., I know lots of useless crap. But back to Abbott and Costello.

Not only were they stars of Vaudeville, but they were able to make the transition to movies rather seamlessly, as opposed to a number of other Vaudeville stars who couldn’t get off that dying stage. They made such, and I use the word extremely loosely here, classics as “Abbott and Costello Meet the Wolfman.” While not one of the highest expressions of cinematic magic, it’s still pretty enjoyable.

But that’s not what I’m talking about today.

Aside from Monty Python’s dead parrot sketch, this is probably one of the funniest comedy sketches of all time. And, for no other reason than that I wanted you to experience some classic laffs, here’s a quick Abbott and Costello.


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