Tag Archives: Triathlon

Old Dog? Meet New Tricks. New Tricks? Meet Old Dog.

I want to learn to do something new.

Not just because I’m getting older and I’m afeared all the brain cells that I so assiduously trained as a young dude are withering away under the assault of daily habit and a contracting sphere of interest. Although, admittedly, that is part of it.

No, dudes, the thing of it is, the reason behind this burgeoning interest in the new is I feel like I’m rather stagnating. I look at Hyper Lad and I see a kid that thinks nothing of popping in a new video game and then learning on the go, improving his game play and immersing himself in a new world. He picked up a saxophone in sixth grade and never looked back.

I see my wife, known to me as She Who Must Be Moving Forward, who decided one day to participate in a triathlon and started training, never looking back. Now she’s completed not only several half Iron Man distance races (covering a combined 70.3 miles), but also an actual Iron Man distance event (covering 140.6 miles). Her job also forces her to keep learning new stuff every day. It’s called professional development and it’s mandatory.

I envy them both.

I, on a third hand, seem to continue doing the same things over and over again. I’m back in a classroom teaching, which is a slight variation on my last time on this side of the desk. I continue to write, which only involves a refinement on what I’ve learned previously and — hopefully — building on it to get better.

I want something completely new and different.

I think I’m going to try and learn a musical instrument. I’ve said it before, I know. This time I think I mean it.

See, when Zippy the College Boy went Down Under last summer, he accidentally participated in a world record. He and his cabinmates in Rustic Pathways happened upon the world’s largest ukelele play in. They wanted to participate, so Zippy the College Boy, purchased a rather inexpensive ukelele.

Said ukelele now sits on top of my filing cabinet. Staring at me. Mute. Accusing. And begging to be played.

I believe I might actually attempt to assuage it’s mute plea for meaning. All I have to do now is find an online site that will help me to learn the instrument. I’ve been assured by some folks that the ukelele is one of the easiest string instruments you can learn go play.

It will have to be. A large part of playing a musical instrument is keeping in rhythm. That is difficult for me as — I have been assured many, many times — I have no rhythm.

Still, I think it’s a risk I’m going to have to take. I feel the urge to do, rather than consume.

The way I see it, as long as I don’t get the urge to strip naked and run around the airport, I should probably listen to those urges while I still can.

I’ll let you know how it goes. If you’re lucky, or unlucky, depending on how you interprete it, I might even be able to upload a video of me playing. Sorry in advance.

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Breathing Harder

So the reason I was away from the homestead, leaving bereft the children of Awesome Elementary school, was because my wife, known to me as She Who Must Be Moving, took place in a half-Iron Man distance triathlon.

In Key West.

Yeah, she was out there running through the very hot morning, while I was puttering around on my rental scooter, darting here and there, with the wind blowing always in my face. She got to splash through the spastic waves of the heaving ocean for more than a mile, while I was sleeping rather later and enjoying a relaxing morning. She was pumping and groaning and heaving her way into the wind on her bicycle for 28 miles, while I raced to catch up to her on my rental scooter.

To sum up: She worked hard. I didn’t. We both, however, had a really good time.

My favorite part of the event itself was when I missed her at the swim-cycle transition area and so had to try and catch her during the cycling course. I hopped on the rental scooter and gunned that powerful motor all the way up to 75 *cough* kph *cough* so it was pretty fast. I scooted out there and finally caught her sometime around 12 miles into the race.

The best thing about it was that she had no idea I was coming. I saw her up ahead of me and just kept coming, right up until I was almost even with her.

“Ah ha!” I shouted. “I found you!” And then scooted on ahead for about a quarter mile before pulling off the side of the road to take pictures.

She shook her fist at me as she passed and I didn’t understand. Apparently, I’d scared her so badly on the bike that she almost fell off it. Oops. Funny, but oops.

After she passed, I put away my futurephone, now full of pictures, back into the official DudePhone pocket and then hopped back onto the rental scooter. I scooted up behind her again and asked if she needed anything. Apparently, she thought I’d turned around. Another wobble.

I don’t know what the rest of them were wining about. I went fast enough to catch them, turned around and then roared back to Key West and I wasn’t sweating at all.

I think it might be all a show to make them look good.

Of course, having said this, I’ve also got to hope that She Who Might Be Reading isn’t living up to her name right now.

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Sunday Serenade: What Time Is It?

Today, right now, I’m not at home.

I’m actually smack-dab in the middle of a nice little vacation. I’m in Key West, FL. I came here to serve as sherpa and general overall schleper for my wife, known to me as She Who Must Be In Another Race, who came here with several of her friends to compete in a half-iron distance triathlon.

She’s going to be busy swimming a mile, cycling 66 miles and running 13.1 miles. I’m going to be busy testing barstools. You know me, dudes. It’s hard work, but I have an appallingly strict work ethic. Gotta get it done.

With that in mind, I thought it was time for a return of one of the favorites.

Alan Jackson and Jimmy Buffett get together and make a trip to Margaritaville where they let us know that “It’s 5 o’clock somewhere.”


I know I will.

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