Tag Archives: Toast

First-World Problems

by Richard

I’m going to call what I just went through for the last couple of weeks a major first-world problem. All right with you dudes? Sure it is. You know what I’m talking about.

For those of you who don’t, a first-world problem is something that’s really — in the grand scheme of things — only something to worry about because we’ve got so much else buffering us from the harsh realities of life that so many other people have to struggle with every day just to survive. For instance, having your favorite nail polish stop making the color you’ve been using for the last year or so and it was just the right color and now you don’t have anything to match it. Or, the hi-def channels aren’t working and you’ve already got all the beer cooled and the snack foods left out and all the dudes over and the game’s about to start.

These things are annoying, sure. But they’re not something we should be making a big deal over.

Neither, of course, is not having access to your own personal washing machine for more than two weeks. But I still just about had a hissy fit until we got it back, let me tell you.

The washing machine started to go bad a couple of days before the apocalyptic ending in which it spun and shook and spun and shook and made more noise than the last Kiss concert. Although, to be fair, it was slightly more rhythmic. It was toast.

So I called the Sears repairfolk and they sent someone over. He looked it over and said, “Hmmmm.” Then he printed out a receipt, said he had to order some parts and would be back in a week. Before the week was up, I got another call that the parts were backordered and it would be a while longer.

Finally, this week, it got fixed. I just about fell to my knees in thanks.

I’d been having to make these long trips to the local coin laundry, lugging heavy suitcases of clothing along with soap and fabric softener and lots and lots of quarters. Sure it was fun, in that I got to sit there and watch some TV talk to the other folks haunting the waiting area until we heard our ding and all that. The thing is, though, it made it so I couldn’t do anything else but wash. Stuff got put off. Which meant I put off doing the laundry. Until it was a huge mess. Which made it more difficult to do. Which meant I put it off. . .

You get the point. Definitely a first-world problem. At least I had clean clothing, and a place to wash them that wasn’t filled with swimming, eating and pooping fishy creatures. And nothing wanted to eat me while at the watering hole.

Yes, I’m probably spoiled. Just like you dudes, but I gotta tell you, I like it. I like being able to do laundry any time and however much I want.

Thank you Sears repairfolk for finally getting the job done. Now, if you’ll excuse me I have to do go some laundry.

And, of course, I’ve run out of the liquid soap so I’ll have to use that dry powder and it’s all messy and I’ll have to have one of the young dudes vacuum it up. Ugh. It’s just going to be terrible.

Share on Facebook

Toast To Tia

by Richard

Happy birthday, Tiá.

As Thumper’s mother once said, “If you can’t say anything nice about someone, then don’t say anything at all.”

. . .

. . .

. . .

Nah, just kidding there, little sister.

I’m actually a pretty lucky dude in that I’ve discovered that my sister is a pretty neat lady.

When we were (much) younger, I used to have the best guard dog in the world. And we didn’t even have any canines living in the house at the time. See, I’d set all my toys out on a towel in the front yard and know no one would come to mess with them. Because I’d get my little sister out front and tell her to make sure no one played with my toys.

And no one dared to cross her.

She was pretty vicious, had a prodigious set of choppers and was not afraid to use them. In fact, I’ve still got scars on my arm from the numerous teethmarks she left on me in a fit of pique once she got older and learned she didn’t have to do what I told her to do. I’m still trying to get her to realize that’s not the way things work, but I have a feeling the boat may have sailed on that one.

All kidding aside, she’s a great sister, fantastic mom and, oddly enough, a good friend.

When Mom got sick, Tiá stepped up and took charge. She was strong when we needed strength and offered a shoulder to cry on when anyone needed comfort. She’s done a great job raising the best niece and nephew in existence and sometimes has good things to say about her shiftless brother.

Happy birthday, kiddo. You’re doing great.

Share on Facebook