Tag Archives: Three Stooges

How To Get A Dollar

Dudes and Dudettes, let’s give it up for our guest blogger, our founder and the big idea man. . . It’s Barry!

And he’s got something to say.

Recently, my oldest daughter had to get braces on her teeth. Now, this is a girl who doesn’t enjoy pain at the best of times and for her to have to “ruin” her smile with braces and put up with that new-braces pain in her teeth. . . Well, it wasn’t pretty.

To make matters worse, she and my youngest daughter were out in the store with their babysitter. The three had gone out to purchase a mop, which my youngest daughter gleefully decided to carry throughout the store. Anyone who couldn’t guess where this was headed definitely hasn’t seen enough vintage Three Stooges episodes.

Yes, my oldest daughter got hit in the mouth with a broom handle. On the very same day she had her braces installed.

Now, the hitter was horrified over what she’d done and, perhaps, a little terrified over what her older sister would do in return, so she decided to write a nice note of apology. Which I present to you here.

photo

For those of you who don’t have super-vision, I’ll give you the rundown.

My youngest started off as if it were a fairy tale, then moved quickly into describing the actual incident. She would never “frigv” herself. That last was forgive, for those of you who read English, rather than toddler.

However, she did ask her big sister to “frigv” her for what happened because, my youngest said, the two were best friends and needed to stay that way forever.

To this appealing apology, written with such marvelously emotive passion, my oldest daughter replied: “I will but can I have $1.00”

Yes, that’s right. She said she’d forgive her sister and then asked for a dollar.

Now that, dudes, is a young dudette who knows how to use guilt.

Cute as it all was, I’m getting a bit concerned for what’s going to happen when she grows up.

Barry, dudes and dudettes! Let’s give it up for the dude and hope he comes back more often!

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I’m Melting

by Richard

No, I’m not the Wicked Witch of the whatever direction it is that doesn’t like water and reacts badly to a little improvisational comedy in the vein of the Three Stooges. That is, the one that melts when water gets thrown on her.

I’m just talking about the heat.

That terrible, horrible heat.

Most of the country has been under a heat warning the last couple of days. I came back from Florida, where the temperature was 93 degrees, and home to North Carolina, where a temperature of 104 degrees greeted me.

That’s hot.

To make matters worse, this was the day Casa De Dude hosted a family reunion of the wonderful folks on the side of the family belonging to my wife, known to me and braggingly known now to her family as She Who Must Be Obeyed. And it was hosted outdoors.

Yeah, we set up the party in the heat. Got out the plates and tables and drinks and party games and suchlike in the heat. We cooked in the heat. And then, when everybody else arrived, we had the party outdoors in the heat. If our backyard wasn’t a miniature forest for all the trees, I’m sure somebody would have melted.

My favorite ice cream dessert I make, Heavenly Layers, basically melted just moments after I cut the pieces and put them on the plate. And that was indoors.

Dude, I have no idea how people managed to survive life before air conditioning, much less wearing all the thick clothing for which those years were known.

Not me, dude. Not me.

And with that whine, I’m headed indoors to stay. Somebody can crack me out of the house once the temperatures go back down to tolerable, somewhere around 95 degrees. I won’t like it, but I can live with it.

What more could I ask?

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