Tag Archives: teeth

Dude Don’t Wanna

Nobody likes paying taxes. Let’s just get that out of the way really fast.

No one likes it. Period.

However much we grit our teeth, mumble under our breath or whine and complain, though, we gotta do it. What’s more, I’m thinking we might actually want to try and feel a bit better about the whole thing.

I know a lot of dudes have difficulties with paying taxes because of all the fun stuff certain people in government like to bring up to rally their base. They like to bring up what they consider to be wasteful spending. Then make fun of it. They like to talk about all the pork in every budget and say it should all be cut. Then under their breaths, whisper something along the lines of, “Well, except for mine because that’s not pork that’s just good sense.”

So, yeah. There are problems. There is waste in the budget, but I’d argue that the good far outweighs the bad.

Our taxes don’t only go to fund (insert your idea of a wasteful project here [but, again, I’d probably argue with you about it because it might actually be of benefit, just not an obvious benefit]), but also go to fund things we all need and use.

Taxes go to fund police and fire and ambulance. They go to fund schools, which try their best to educate our children so they will become productive, happy members of society. They go to fund building inspectors, so that great new house you just moved in to doesn’t fall down around your ears.

Taxes go to fund infrastructure repair and improvement. Though I’d argue that not enough goes to fund that sort of thing. The sorry, scary state of our nation’s bridges alone are enough to give any dude nightmares and make us think twice about crossing most bridges. In addition, taxes go toward funding our national defense. We have a volunteer armed force, so we’ve got to pay these people. We don’t just force them into the army or air force and then expect them to serve free.

We also can be thankful that our taxes go toward helping out many of those in our society who need our help, who were failed by our school system and didn’t get the education they need to successfully compete in today’s job market. And, yes, for Medicare, Medicaid and our country’s latest foray into medical care, Obamacare. Which I think is working out just swell.

So, yeah. Taxes are a pain in the butt and, yeah, I’d certainly rather not pay them. But I understand that, no matter how much I dislike them, and no matter how much I dislike some of the things our money is spent on, I realize that taxes are necessary if we are to remain a somewhat fully functioning democracy.

Have fun, today.

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Brace Face

It’s been a rough week for Hyper Lad. Let’s give the little dude a big, “Awwwwwwwww.” He’s been drowning in homework and it’s been filling his weekends as well.

To top it off, he’s now joined the legions of the Walking Braced. Yeah, he’s a brace face. A metal mouth. He’s now in very real danger of getting dragged across the quad by his teeth when Magneto attacks his middle school. (Note that said when, rather than if. I just have a feeling Magneto doesn’t like middle schools.)

He is, to put it mildly, not happy about this latest development.

I’ve been having a great deal of difficulty as well. Mostly that difficulty has been in trying not to laugh at the poor little dude. It’s not that he looks all that funny or anything. It’s just that his reactions have been so stereotypical this whole time.

When he got the braces on this past Monday, he wouldn’t smile. He told me as I dropped him off at school that he would not be smiling for a long time because people would make fun of him.

Honestly, I didn’t realize that was a real reaction. I thought it was something Hollywood script writers made up and that then sunk deeply into the cultural zeitgeist. Who knew?

He’s also lisping and that’s my fault for the hilarity. I’m sorry, but he just sounds so darn funny. Normally, he’s the best enunciated of the three young dudes in the family. Zippy the College Boy tends to mumble. Sarcasmo is a fast talker. Hyper Lad, I thought, was the one who would go on to public speaking. Or at least be understood when he asked for someone to pass the soft, non-chewy food at the table.

Now come the braces. And he’s barely able to talk legibly. Again, I’m sorry. I know it’s wrong to derive amusement from his lisp. He can’t help it. Lisps aren’t supposed to be funny. This time? It is.

I am definitely going to hell for this one.

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How To Get A Dollar

Dudes and Dudettes, let’s give it up for our guest blogger, our founder and the big idea man. . . It’s Barry!

And he’s got something to say.

Recently, my oldest daughter had to get braces on her teeth. Now, this is a girl who doesn’t enjoy pain at the best of times and for her to have to “ruin” her smile with braces and put up with that new-braces pain in her teeth. . . Well, it wasn’t pretty.

To make matters worse, she and my youngest daughter were out in the store with their babysitter. The three had gone out to purchase a mop, which my youngest daughter gleefully decided to carry throughout the store. Anyone who couldn’t guess where this was headed definitely hasn’t seen enough vintage Three Stooges episodes.

Yes, my oldest daughter got hit in the mouth with a broom handle. On the very same day she had her braces installed.

Now, the hitter was horrified over what she’d done and, perhaps, a little terrified over what her older sister would do in return, so she decided to write a nice note of apology. Which I present to you here.


For those of you who don’t have super-vision, I’ll give you the rundown.

My youngest started off as if it were a fairy tale, then moved quickly into describing the actual incident. She would never “frigv” herself. That last was forgive, for those of you who read English, rather than toddler.

However, she did ask her big sister to “frigv” her for what happened because, my youngest said, the two were best friends and needed to stay that way forever.

To this appealing apology, written with such marvelously emotive passion, my oldest daughter replied: “I will but can I have $1.00”

Yes, that’s right. She said she’d forgive her sister and then asked for a dollar.

Now that, dudes, is a young dudette who knows how to use guilt.

Cute as it all was, I’m getting a bit concerned for what’s going to happen when she grows up.

Barry, dudes and dudettes! Let’s give it up for the dude and hope he comes back more often!

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