If there’s one thing I don’t like about Halloween, it’s answering my door and finding teenagers not wearing costumes standing there with their hands out for candy. Seriously, dudes, without a costume you’re just begging.
The spirit (hah! Spirit! Get it?) of Halloween is found in the costumes the kids and adults dress up in and parade around the streets and/or bars. (Obviously, you know, only for adults on that last one.) You can let your inner geek run free and dress as the Star Wars character you always whished you were. You can let delusion take over and dress as the muscle-bound action hero. Or even as a gorilla. Whatever. The point is, you need to get into costume and into character before you go out wandering the streets looking for candy.
Uncostumed teens just tick me off. They shouldn’t be going door to door without wearing costumes. They ought to do what I did when I stopped wearing costumes as a teenager. I just threatened the little kids who were wearing costumes and they gave me their candy. Nothing wrong with that. It’s a time-honored tradition.
My oldest little dude has always been into putting together a Halloween costume. As he’s aged, he’s moved away from already-made costumes to ones he puts together himself, grabbing an old robe costume, buying some rubber stabby things and a mask. Viola, he’s a demon monk. My middle little dude, however, last year said he wasn’t going to dress up as anything, but he was still going out.
I and my wife, known to some as She Who Must Wear Costumes More Often, put our feet through the floor. We told him if he wasn’t going to dress up, he was going to stay home and pass out candy. He whined and moaned and pouted and shouted, but we stood firm. Eventually, the love of candy won out. He threw together a costume, went out and had a great time with all the other costumed teens out there.
Fortunately, my middle little dude seems to have learned that Halloween lesson since, as I said, he and his brother are going as Jake and Elwood Blues, the Blues Brothers. I, myself, am going out as Mr. Incredible. I know, I know, I’m dressing to type, but I thought I’d take it easy this year.
Now, suit up, get out and have fun tonight. Heck, you could even Wang Chung tonight. (another joke for the old people)