Remember way back when Dennis Miller used to be funny? Yeah, I know. Hard to reach back that far. Still, he was at his funniest when he was at his angriest, when he was on a rant.

I’m not that funny, but I’m about to go on a rant. And I do mean to go [...]]]> by Richard

Remember way back when Dennis Miller used to be funny? Yeah, I know. Hard to reach back that far. Still, he was at his funniest when he was at his angriest, when he was on a rant.

I’m not that funny, but I’m about to go on a rant. And I do mean to go off on it.

Back on Valentine’s Day, we got a comment entered in an post that was so old we had to blow the spiderwebs off it so we could actually read what we wrote. Which means, usually, we got spammed by some kind of robot. And not the fun kind. This robot-installed spam was hawking academic papers that you could buy.

Yeah, that’s right. The place, which I will not dignify with a link, is a cheating factory.

There’s an argument that buying papers off the internet isn’t cheating. That those papers only serve as a guideline to the — ha! — students who buy them. A way for them to help focus their thoughts.

Yeah, right. And I’m the Queen of Iceland. Admittedly, I do look good in a nice mauve prom dress and a tiara, but Iceland doesn’t actually have a queen. I think you get my point.

The purpose of an essay is not to punish the students. Well, most of the time. Seriously, it’s so that the professor can make sure the students have actually grasped the point of a section of knowledge and are able to synthesize ideas, resolve contradictions and form coherent opinions about that knowledge. These are all important skills. And buying papers off the internet doesn’t help achieve that goal.

I know I’m speaking as a very old person here. There’s no student who likes writing an essay. I know I didn’t when I was that age. But, now that I’m old, I can appreciate what it’s trying to accomplish. It’s a worthwhile goal. That and it’s fun to watch little dudes suffer like that.

I still remember the two all-nighters in a row I pulled in trying to write a coherent paper about Kurt Vonnegut’s Jailbird. That thing, like most of Vonnegut’s books, is a mass of twisting narrative that can confound the most agile mind. Of which mine was not. Still, I managed to get the paper done on time and turn it in. I got a “B” and counted myself lucky. I later found out I got that high a grade because the professor felt sorry for me when he saw how I looked when I turned it in. I know, how could he tell the difference? Har, har.

Still, even though it’s hard, people need to learn how to write coherent bits of narrative. You will be judged on how well you write. No one’s going to demand that anyone write as well as Christopher Moore or anything, but you have to be able to get your ideas across in print, or pixel as the case may be.

I just do not like these kinds of services. I think they cheat the professor and the student. And that’s not good.

Okay. I’m done. End of rant. Go about your business.

Related posts

• Trade Off (0)
• Freaky Friday: The Mist (1)
• Dude Review: Under The Dome (0)
• My Place, And The Putting Me In Thereof (0)
• Freaky Friday: Gang Green (1)

Now that we have a dog, I’m able to do a little compare and contrast and I’ve come to a conclusion. To wit: It is much easier to train a dog than it is to train a little dude. Much, much easier.

In the probably less than five months that we’ve had our Labrador/pit bull [...]]]> by Richard

Now that we have a dog, I’m able to do a little compare and contrast and I’ve come to a conclusion. To wit: It is much easier to train a dog than it is to train a little dude. Much, much easier.

In the probably less than five months that we’ve had our Labrador/pit bull mix, Buzz, we’ve been able to teach him not to poop on the floor, how to roll over, sit, not to beg at the table, how to tell which hand has the treat and how to choose that hand.

In the sixteen years we’ve had the little dudes, we’ve managed to teach them how not to poop on the floor. Most times.

Buzz has his own little area and he doesn’t mess in it.

I’m afraid to walk into the bedrooms of m three little dudes for fear the mess will have gained sentience and will attack just on general principles.

Buzz has his own bowl and will eat from it, making sure not to spill on the floor. If he does, he’ll clean it up. (With his tongue, but still the principle stands.)

After a meal with my little dudes, I’m tempted to rent the place out as a rest stop to a horde of migrating cockroaches moving south to escape the growing threat of the arctic boot heel.

Buzz actually likes to get in the shower. True story: we’ve got a shower without a door or curtain (on purpose, I assure you) and, whenever one of us is in the shower, Buzz will wander into the shower, get wet and happily start licking up the water on the ground.

Sometimes the funk surrounding the older little dudes, George of the Jungle and Zippy the Monkey Boy, is so fierce it’s almost a dose of concentrated evil. Eeeeeevvviiilllllll!

The point of all this. Not much. I’m just sitting here watching the dog lie quiet on the floor while Zippy chases Speed Racer around the kitchen and living room and dining room screaming something about death and dismemberment.

You know, there’s something to be said for a household of pets and no kids.

Related posts

• Put A Stake Through My Heart, Why Don’t You? (1)
• Easily Amused (0)
• Dude Review: Under The Dome (0)
• My Place, And The Putting Me In Thereof (0)
• Cheating: A Rant (2)

You know, there’s something I really, really love about animated movies meant for the young (or young at mind [or, you know, feeble-minded]). Things are just so very much simpler.

Take, for example, Planet 51, the new Sony animated movie, starring Dwayne Johnson and Justin Long. Johnson voices Chuck, the American astronaut character while Long [...]]]> by Richard

You know, there’s something I really, really love about animated movies meant for the young (or young at mind [or, you know, feeble-minded]). Things are just so very much simpler.

Take, for example, Planet 51, the new Sony animated movie, starring Dwayne Johnson and Justin Long. Johnson voices Chuck, the American astronaut character while Long voices Lem, a (well, to us) alien. Chuck is stranded on the strange planet, the inhabitants of which are (while green and be-antennaed) suffering through a 1950’s amazingly like our own. Full of monster movies and a paranoid fear of the other. Most of them are suffering from this. As well as some overwhelming surrender instincts to authority.

You might not get the joke initially, but Lem, just by his name, is an attempt at funny. See, when the Apollo space craft series began landing on the moon, there were a number of sections. One section stayed in orbit and provided the trip back home. Another section landed on the moon and was originally called the Lunar Excursion Module, pronounced LEM. Yeah, a bit obscure, but at least it was an attempt.

So, here’s the simplicity bit. See, learning a human language is hard enough, but it’s something at least familiar. Something meant to be pronounced by a human mouth using human lungs. An alien language now, that’s something all together different. It might take decades, centuries to decipher an alien language, not to mention the difficulty in having a human speak it.

Here’s where the filmmakers did something so mindboggling it’s almost brilliant. They didn’t want to spend the movie having the astronaut learn a language until he was older and gray. They just had the aliens and the humans speak the same language, English, with no explanation whatsoever. One alien says the astronaut is speaking his language and Chuck accuses the alien of speaking his language. That’s it. Move along. There’s nothing to see here. Let’s get on with the hijinks. I mean, robots aren’t going to piddle oil on their own.

While a passable movie for adults, my youngest little dude really liked this flick. Speed Racer didn’t move around at all during the entire flick. Not bad, then, for him.

Most of the humor consists of watching aliens do things humans do, seeing human attitudes adopted by aliens and watching robots piddle oil when they’re scared. Just about perfect for a fifth-grader.

I’m going to give this movie three (3) dudes out of five. Not bad, but nothing I’d sweat if I missed it in the theater.

Before we

Related posts

• Dude Review: Under The Dome (0)
• Easily Amused (0)
• My Place, And The Putting Me In Thereof (0)
• Dog Training (0)
• Put A Stake Through My Heart, Why Don’t You? (1)