So the reason I was away from the homestead, leaving bereft the children of Awesome Elementary school, was because my wife, known to me as She Who Must Be Moving, took place in a half-Iron Man distance triathlon.
In Key West.
Yeah, she was out there running through the very hot morning, while I was puttering around on my rental scooter, darting here and there, with the wind blowing always in my face. She got to splash through the spastic waves of the heaving ocean for more than a mile, while I was sleeping rather later and enjoying a relaxing morning. She was pumping and groaning and heaving her way into the wind on her bicycle for 28 miles, while I raced to catch up to her on my rental scooter.
To sum up: She worked hard. I didn’t. We both, however, had a really good time.
My favorite part of the event itself was when I missed her at the swim-cycle transition area and so had to try and catch her during the cycling course. I hopped on the rental scooter and gunned that powerful motor all the way up to 75 *cough* kph *cough* so it was pretty fast. I scooted out there and finally caught her sometime around 12 miles into the race.
The best thing about it was that she had no idea I was coming. I saw her up ahead of me and just kept coming, right up until I was almost even with her.
“Ah ha!” I shouted. “I found you!” And then scooted on ahead for about a quarter mile before pulling off the side of the road to take pictures.
She shook her fist at me as she passed and I didn’t understand. Apparently, I’d scared her so badly on the bike that she almost fell off it. Oops. Funny, but oops.
After she passed, I put away my futurephone, now full of pictures, back into the official DudePhone pocket and then hopped back onto the rental scooter. I scooted up behind her again and asked if she needed anything. Apparently, she thought I’d turned around. Another wobble.
I don’t know what the rest of them were wining about. I went fast enough to catch them, turned around and then roared back to Key West and I wasn’t sweating at all.
I think it might be all a show to make them look good.
Of course, having said this, I’ve also got to hope that She Who Might Be Reading isn’t living up to her name right now.