Stuff

Me First And The Gimmie Gimmies*

Posted on January 18, 2010 at 12:01 am

by Richard

When dads sit down around the campfire after a long day of herding little dudes and cleaning up after them, there’s a cautionary tale that gets told to the shivers of the listeners. It goes something like this.

There was a family with three little dudes and or dudettes. It doesn’t matter. The family was planning a vacation to somewhere warm, sandy and delightful. As they were doing the final pack up, they heard the news. At the resort, a bird who’s species is on the verge of extinction had flown into the engine of a fully loaded jet as it was coming in for a landing. The jet went down in a ball of flame, killing all on board as well as wiping out the resort and causing a fire that devastated the tiny island.

“Oh, how horrible,” said the mom.

“That’s just terrible,” said the dad as he began to unpack their suitcases.

The middle little dude looked on, aghast. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

“Wait,” he said. “Why are you unpacking? That doesn’t affect me, does it? Well, find something else.”

And the group around the campfire shivers, knowing the little dude just didn’t get it. All he worried about was whether or not he was going to get something. The dads hoped they were raising their little dudes to be better than that. They picked up their plates of beans and started a fart contest. Whatddya want? They’re dudes.

The problem is that little dude’s reaction wasn’t all that unusual. There’s little dudes all over the world that only care about something if it affects them, or how they want to do stuff. I may, just may, know this from personal experience. Maybe.

I’m not sure why this happens. I’m not sure how a little dude becomes so focused on himself that he sees the entire world through the lens of how it will affect him. I think, though, there are some ways to work with the non-functional-brained little dudes.

One way is the bait and switch. Offer the little dude something he or she really wants, or says he or she does, and then make it contingent on doing something nice for someone more than once. Or tell them they can’t have it. And then give it to them only after they’ve made an unprompted gesture of niceness toward another member of the family.

I think we need to make sure kids like these widen their perspective more than a little bit. Let themselves see the outside world has more to offer and needs more from the people living in it than what happens to them.

*not the band, although they’re awesome.

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Boo Berries

Posted on January 17, 2010 at 12:01 am

by Richard

My niece, Boo, is one smart cookie. Now, I’ve known this since she was a year old and managed to whip my butt in checkers. Of course, she did it by drooling all over my half of the board and then gumming most of the checkers into plastic paste, but still. . .

Anyway, she really is a smart cookie. But to talk about that, I first have to tell you this: My mom, Boo’s grandmother, has multiple sclerosis, MS. This is a degenerative nerve disease which results in a gradual (sometimes) weakening of the extremities and loss of feeling. All of which means it’s very hard for my mom to walk or do much that’s active.

The other day, she was complaining that she wished she didn’t have MS so she could be skiing, water skiing, hiking and all that stuff. Boo looked at her and asked, “If you didn’t have MS, would you really be doing any of those things?”

Good question, especially considering she’ll be 69 this year.

Mom just laughed and said no, she probably wouldn’t.

That’s cutting through to the core of the matter, yeah? Sure, Mom would have rather have not had MS and still not have done any of those things, but I thought Boo raised a really good point.

We often want things, even though we’d never actually use them. How many times, especially during the gift-giving season just past, did we ask for something we really wanted? Yeah, a lot. Now, think back. How many times have you used it in the last month or so. Yeah, not a lot.

I’m not suggesting we try to cut down on consumption or anything. I mean, I wouldn’t want to be responsible for the economy tanking. Again. I’m actually thinking more about setting a good example for the little dudes. Before we mouth off about how much we want something, think for a second about whether or not this is something you’d actually use, something that we could even find a month or two down the road.

My worry, you see, is if we don’t start setting the example, we’re going to be raising a hoard of greedy, selfish little dudes. About which I’ll talk more tomorrow.

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I Am Iron Man, Too

Posted on December 19, 2009 at 12:01 am

by Richard

I think we can all agree that the original Iron Man was one of the best movies of last year. It had action, adventure and Robert Downey Junior. All very good stuff.

When the trailer first came out, the little dudes and I watched it again and again, thrilling to the high-altitude action.

Now, the first trailer for Iron Man 2 is out and history repeats itself. Both George of the Jungle and Zippy the Monkey Boy exploded (metaphorically, not literally) when they got to the end of this little bit of movie magic. Here, enjoy.

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