Tag Archives: Stranger

Dating Like A Teenager

by Richard

I’ve got a theory about dating. Yeah, dudes, I know. I haven’t been dating for more than two decades, but that doesn’t mean I can’t think about it.*

This all came out of a discussion with Pitt and Mike, a couple of friends of mine who are a) on the way to getting divorced and b) long divorced. Both men are back in the dating pool and have joined several meet-up groups. The problem is they keep meeting up with women who — to the perception of Pitt and Mike (and me as well, when I get the skinny on the dates) — keep acting like they were in high school.

These ladies will tell someone else to tell someone else that they like a certain someone. Even in this age and day of enlightenment and equality, Pitt said, one lady told him (paraphrasing closely), “If I do on a date, there’s no way I’m paying a dime. That’s the guy’s job.” And this was a woman with a good job who was doing well.

It’s a lot of back and forth with a lot of the behavior trending toward immaturity. That’s when I had a flash of insight. What I think happens to people who get married is that their dating styles and expectations freeze where they were when the stopped dating.

Their dating acumen ends as soon as they get married. Sure, they might go on dates with their spouses, but it’s not the same as meeting a stranger, feeling them out (not up) and then deciding if you want to spend time with them. So their dating acumen is stuck at wherever it was when they got married.

If they married in college, they (and I’m talking dudes and dudettes here) will tend to see dating through the lens of a college student. What was acceptable then is so now. What didn’t pass muster then, doesn’t do it today.

I really think this is what’s going on. And not just with the ladies Pitt and Mike are dating, either. Although I didn’t mention that to them when we were talking. (Here’s hoping they don’t read the blog.) I get the feeling this is a cross-gender issue.

Of course, having identified the problem, I’m not sure there is anything that can be done about it. Unless, you, the dude or dudette reading this is, in fact, one of those who married young and is recently divorced. Then you could take a look at your own behavior and see what you can do to drag your dating self up to your actual age.

Or, if you’re going out with someone like this, just realize what’s going on and make allowances.

I’m just glad I’m not out there having to start dating all over again. I’m not sure if my body could hold up to an endless round of keggers and pizza. Still, that’s what you’re supposed to do on a date, right?

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Operation Mighty Hunter I

by Richard

The difference between a cockroach and a mouse is more in the way they move than in how many legs they have.

Well, at least it is when you’re more than three-quarters asleep, sitting on a toilet very early in the morning and are, like my wife, known to me as She Who Must Be Screaming Now Thank You Very Much, prone to shrieking very loud when you see either one of them.

Yes, dudes, we have come down with a bad case of the meeses. That should be plural for mouse, but it’s not. Another in a long line of injustices perpetrated against me by the English language. But enough about that. Let’s talk fuzzy creepers.

See, it started when my wife went digging into the deeper recesses of her closet, into some of the stranger parts of it, where the geography has been known to change with the observer’s mental attitude, and it was there, far away from the fields that men know, she found the first evidence that we had been invaded.

Her shirt was nibbled to death. A cute, perky little striped number that had only recently come home from the store. Thankfully, it had been on sale because we’d not get any useful wearing out of it now. The thing had been completely nibbled through on the left shoulder. No longer was there a neck and then two arm holes. Now it was one arm hole and then a ragged opening big enough to fit most of my upper body through. Not that I would be trying on her clothes, you understand.

Anyway, by then we suspected we had mice.

When a mouse scurried (as opposed to the way a cockroach scuttles) across the bathroom floor causing my wife, known to me as She Who Must Be Heard To Be Believed, to scream quite loudly. Well, that meant it was time for the dudes to come marching in and take over.

By promptly doing nothing. Well, I couldn’t find the silly thing.

So I decided to take drastic steps and institute Operation Mighty Hunter I. By which I mean that I locked Buzz, the garbage disposal that walks like a dog, upstairs in the Creature Cave and then let Nari, Sarcasmo’s cat, enter the house free and unfettered. Nari, you see, is the cat who loves nothing more than leaving us the wonderful gifts of his regard that show up on the front and back porch. A leg here. A ropy pile of intestines there. The bloody body of a gnawed bunny at the garage door.

I gave Nari a good four hours to tour the house and find the rodent in question before I came home and began searching for remains. I found no body parts, but I did find Nari curled up on the bedspread in my bedroom, shedding happily.

Operation Mighty Hunter I was a complete bust.

I did not give up, though. I only gave that impression to the enemy. While the enemy celebrated, I laid in wait, thinking and developing a cunning plan. A cunning plan I called Operation Mighty Hunter. . . II.

But we’ll get into that on Monday.

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Put One More In The Win Column For J.B.S. Haldane

by Richard

I know what you dudes are asking and it’s this: Who? And quite right at that.

J.B.S. Haldane was a British geneticist and evolutionary biologist who died in 1964. A pithy and erudite man, Haldane did a lot to advance the cause of science and the explanation of science during his life. However, it was his quote (and it’s subsequent misattributions and changes) that might be most remembered.

In his 1927 scholarly article, Possible Worlds and Other Papers, he gives us the following little bit of wisdom. “. . . the Universe is not only queerer than we suppose, but queerer than we can suppose.” And, yes, I’m sure you dudes have heard this quote or some derivation (reality is stranger than we suppose. . . the universe is stranger than we suppose. . . etc.) whenever someone wants to make a point about something odd in nature.

With that in mind: The ocean is not only stranger than we suppose, but stranger than we can suppose.” Witness.

Allow me to present Deepstaria enigmatica, a cnidarian. Although it looks like a sheet of transparant, brown rubber, it actually is a living being, a jellyfish of sorts.

That picture comes from a recent underwater video. The deepstaria enigmatica happened to drift by and the videographer, understandably enchanted and more than a little surprised, decided to follow up with the creature. I mean, who wouldn’t?

This is the sort of strange stuff you need to share with the little dudes, no matter how large they get. It is awesome! The world is so amazingly strange. Who wouldn’t want to see more of it?

Luckily for you, I not only have the article linked here, I’ve also got the video for you to stare at. And trust me. You will stare at this thing. Go grab the little dudes and settle in for some giggles and some awe-struck gasps. This is some amazing stuff.

The world really is stranger than we imagine. Thank goodness for that.

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