Tag Archives: Strange

Is There Such A Thing As A Good Selfie?

Short answer: no.

Okay, you dudes can go now.

Or not. Depends on what you want to hear.

The long answer? All right, then.

Since the Oxford Dictionary announced the selfie as word of the year for 2013, there’s been renewed interest in something that we had all but extinguished. Sadly, this comeback has not made them better. However, there are steps you can take to make your appalling selfie into one that doesn’t make old men retch and young girls run screaming into their rooms to cry softly into their pillows and stuffed bears.

Taken from the readwrite.com site, here are some basic steps for taking a selfie that doesn’t flat-out suck.

To start with, get rid of the fat arms.selfie-ad-2

If you’re a frequent selfie photographer, the right apps and accessories can make the task easier, while also banishing extended “fat arm” syndrome. Plenty of camera apps feature self-timers (like this and this), and accessory makers offer wireless shutters that let you shoot remotely away from your device

Now, admittedly, the makers of this photograph won a CLIO, an advertising award for it, but it is the exception that proves the rule. Having huge, extended, fat arms like that rarely works to showcase how desirable you are, only that you have deformed arms.

Make sure that you showcase your jawline in a good way, not let it disappear into a second chin that isn’t actually there.

When people hold their cameras up for a selfie, some unconsciously cast their heads back. But by doing that, the chin and jawline practically disappears—in some cases, it can even create or emphasize a double chin. 

The best thing you can do is to stretch your head forward toward the camera to create a more flattering angle. Not too much, because then your neck gets a bit strange looking, but enough to stretch out the skin under your jaw. Heck, this is a good idea for any photograph in which you’re going to show up.

Remember Miley Cyrus at the Video Music Awards? How she stuck her tongue out almost every chance she got? Remember? Good. Now forget her. That pose just doesn’t work. It didn’t work for Miley and she, for some reason, is a famous person who has had experience in posing in front of the camera.

So what hope is there for the rest of us? The short answer: There isn’t any. (Really, the only one who can pull this off is Kiss’ Gene Simmons, who has been doing it since before Billy Ray’s daughter was born.)

Finally, consider the background in your photo as well as the lighting in which you’ll be taking the selfie. If the light is behind you, then your lovely face is going to appear in all shadows, hiding you from the viewer. And, isn’t the point of a selfie to show off your face?

I know it’s not something most people consider, but background can make or break a photo. Even the best photo of you standing in your bathroom facing the mirror still is only a photo of you standing in your bathroom. Another bit that just isn’t going to work for you.

No one wants to see your bathroom. Even you don’t want to see your bathroom.

Try finding a better place. Maybe one with good lighting.

There are more suggestions at the article site, including a plea to banish “duckface.” You can head on over and take a look. Maybe, if you can’t help yourself and you do take a selfie, you could send one along and I’ll run the best one we get.

Sound good to you dudes?

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Sunday Serenade: Funky September

All you dudes have gotta do, really, is just take a look at this little beauty.

One quick glance and you’ll realize: Dude, the 1970’s were strange. Very, very strange.

Okay, yes, Earth, Wind & Fire are a performance funk band and you’d expect them to be dressed a bit flamboyantly, but still. . .

This is some farm-out stuff, man. Right arm!

Anyway, here’s a major acid flashback from the bygone days of yore, something so powerful it’ll even affect people who’ve never actually taken acid.

It’s Earth, Wind & Fire, performing September.

Enjoy.


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More Strange, But True Stuff From The Book

by Richard

As we said yesterday, we had so much good stuff for the book, A Dude’s Guide to Babies, that we couldn’t fit it all in.

No matter that we couldn’t fit it all in, you still can get your hot little hands on the book by pre ordering the book from Barnes & Noble or Amazon before it’s nationwide release to bookstores everywhere on April 15, 2013.

So we saved some of the best we couldn’t squeeze into the book and we’re giving it to you here.

Now, finishing up, here are the rest of the Top 10 List of Things You Can Actually Find On Or Around A Newly Born Baby.

4. More hair than Elvis. Some little dudettes will come out of the womb with a head full of hair. We’re talking thick, full hair. It just happens that way. Odds are, though, she won’t keep it for very long.

5. Swollen scrotum. The passage through the birth canal isn’t an easy cruise. All that squeezing during the contraction can leave your little dude with a severely swollen set of testicles. Don’t worry. Over the next couple of days the swelling will gradually reduce and the scrotum will return to a normal size.

6. Lumpy head. Sometimes babies just don’t want to come out. When that happens, the obstetrician might use a couple of little helpers. One method is to attach a vacuum tube to the baby’s head, start the suction, and then pull him out. This can cause some bruising and swelling on some parts of the head. Don’t worry. It’ll fade with time.

7. Acne. We’ve spoken about how some young babies can get acne. Mostly it’s because of all the mother’s hormones still gallivanting around in the little dude’s system. Imagine how much gallivanting there is right after birth. Yeah. Acne is something that can happen to any baby. Don’t pop any zits. Just keep your little dude thoroughly washed and dried.

8. Buddha belly. You’d think the little dudette had been hitting a couple of all-you-can eat buffets in the womb the way her belly looks. But it’s not from eating too much. You don’t need to put your little dude or dudette on a diet to lose the big, round belly. As the little dudes grow, they grow out of the belly.

9. Hairy back. Remember the whole bit about mommy hormones acting up cranky inside the little dude? Yeah. Acne isn’t the only problem. All those hormones can make your little dude’s back look like you should be locking him away during a full moon. Relax. The longer he’s on his own, relying on his own hormones, the faster that back hair will shed.

10. Zombie cord. The umbilical cord attaches the baby to the mommy. All the oxygen and food and waste for the baby circulates through him and the mommy thanks to the umbilical cord. When your baby is born, the doctor will clamp off the umbilical and then cut it. Since it’s full of blood vessels and suchlike, the doctor can’t just cut it off right at the base. She’s going to have to leave a little bit. Which will slowly wither and die off, leaving behind a crusty, desiccated lump of once-living flesh. Relax. Just like a scab, it will fall off on its own. Just keep it clean and the belly button washed and moisturized.

Hoo-hah!

Go buy the book!

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