Tag Archives: Stature

Iron Man

Honestly? think there are people in Japan who are deliberately trying to mess with my head. And not in a good way. It seems there’s a company there named Cyberdyne, Inc. that’s building a robotic exo-skeleton. That’s very close to robots and we all know about Cyberdyne and robots, right? Seriously? Cyberdyne designed the Skynet computer system that brings about Judgement Day in the Terminator movie franchise.

Yeah, truth really is stranger than fiction. Or at least much, much scarier.

So the fictional Cyberdyne makes Skynet, which goes rogue, which then causes nuclear armageddon, which leads to a war of extermination against the remaining humans, which leads to the Governator going back in time to kill the mother of the leader of the resistance before that leader can even be born. “Ah’ll be bock” and all that. Which leads to another Governator coming back in time to save the leader of the resistance as a young teenager (Hasta la vista, baybee), which leads to a really bad movie, which leads to the reboot of the franchise with Batman playing the part of the leader of the resistence. (See, not so complicated.) So, yeah, call me more than a little freaked out. It’s like they know the feelings behind the name and are doing it to mess with, well, me.

The (so far) not-so-fictional Cyberdyne, however, seems more interested in copying Iron Man than in copying the Terminator. They’ve built a slick-looking white exo-skeleton that representatives say will actually increase human speed, strength and endurance, while also, possibly, filling in for missing limbs. Here’s a look at it.

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A prototype of the exoskeleton suit is designed for the small in stature, standing five feet, three inches (1.6 meters) tall. The suit weighs 50.7 pounds (23 kilograms) and is powered by a 100-volt AC battery (that lasts up to five hours, depending upon how much energy the suit exerts).

Sure, this all sounds well and good, but it’s still made by an evil corporation that’s destined to end the world in nuclear fire and unleash killer robots on us all. Maybe not such a good thing. I have to go now as the microwave is starting to make some rather unsettling demands.

— Richard, who’s toaster is making some very suspicious noises.

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Howdy Up There!

For years, I was a giant among men. Well, among a number of little dudes anyway. As long as we didn’t go anywhere near my dad (or my brother-in-law)(or my wife’s brother), I was always the tallest dude in the house. Until last year, that is. And until my wife, known to some as She Who Enjoys High Heels Far Too Much, decided she really enjoyed wearing high heels.

At six feet, I’m about three inches taller than my wife. Of course, when she puts on the high heels, she gets right up there and we see eye-to-eye on things other than disciplining the little dudes. The hardest thing, though, was when my little dudes started shooting up. In height, that is, not heroin.

Three years ago, my oldest little dude came up to my shoulder. The year after, he was just about as tall as I was. This year, however, he’s clearly taller than me, by at least an inch or more. And my middle little dude is starting to follow the same pattern. He’s edging up and is already taller than his mother. Both of them are enjoying the heck out of their rapidly rising stature.

Last week, I actually got a “Shorty” from my oldest little dude. I can’t tell you how very, very strange it feels to shake my finger into the face of a little dude who’s taller than I am. I have this feeling that I’m going to go from being the tallest dude in the house to being the shortest. Fortunately, my youngest little dude is only 9 so I’ve got a couple of more years to lord my impressive height over him.

As for my wife, I’m thinking maybe I should give up the tennis shoes and only wear shoes with heels. And, yes, I’m probably putting way too much emphasis on this. I just think I’m going to get the short end of the stick. That was a pun.

— Richard

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