Tag Archives: spam

Dude, Wherefore Art Thou?

You dudes are frakkin’ everywhere.

No, seriously.

It’s like this. Every once in a while, WordPress (the fine folks who host this humble blog) will send along a packet of information about who reads the blog and how many and stuff like that. You know, stuff that interests only me and, maybe, Barry.

However, this time, I found something I thought you might enjoy. It’s the list of places from where people — people like you — read the Dude’s Guide. And, dudes, I’ve got to say: I was completely flabbergasted when I read this list. Go ahead and take a gander at the screencap I pulled off the report.

dude country 1

All total, there are 51 countries from which this blog has been accessed. Now, I’m not saying that anyone actually reads this blog when it gets accessed. For all I know, this might be some sort of automatic program crawling through blogs looking for some place to put spam.

Of course, it could be that there are people in each of those countries reading the blog. It could be.

Personally, that’s what I choose to believe. Not because I have an enormous ego and find it nice to have it stroked in this way. Although it is nice. No, I want to believe that because it’s just so cool that someone as far away as the USSR or Australia or some other tiny little nation, can just hop on their computer and call up a blog that I’m writing upstairs in my house.

I still remember the thrill I got when first I received a modem. I was living in Jacksonville at the time and modems still were rather new in the personal computing space. Yeah, I had to go through the squealing and squeaking and all that noise, but it was worth it, just to see those white letters crawling across the black screen.

I was talking to someone in California on my computer screen. It was awesome then and it’s awesome now. We tend to take this sort of thing for granted, the instant communication with people on the far side of the globe. I know I do as well. But sometimes I get reminded what a really tremendous accomplishment this is.

We are forming a global community in ways those hippies in the 1960’s never considered or would have thought possible. There’s commerce, communication, stuff! And it’s as easy as simply sitting down at a computer and turning it on.

That is pretty awesome! Take a minute to think about it. Maybe talk to your young dudes as well. Sometimes we need to step back and realize there really is a forest around us. Wonderful, amazing things are taking place all around us all the time if only we take the time to notice.

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Looking Backwards

by Richard

I’m not exactly sure what spurred this little bit here (maybe a desire to take myself down a peg or two by laughing at long-ago Richard), but I got thinking about spam e-mails today and remembered those days long ago when I was first getting into the whole e-mail and computer communications thing.

This was back near 2000 or so and I was, to put it bluntly, an idiot.

I remember the first time I started to get e-mails addressed to me, but with someone else’s name in the message itself.

“Dear Robert. .  .” or something like that.

And I answered with something along the lines of “Sorry to tell you this, but I think you have the wrong e-mail address. You sent this to Robert but it, unfortunately, ended up with me. You might want to correct that before you send again.”

Oddly enough, after I sent that e-mail, I started to get a lot more e-mails addressed to Robert and other people, not necessarily named Richard. E-mails from people I’d never heard of who seemed to have an unhealthy interest in the length of my, erm, Johnson. If you know what I mean.

And, new to the internet as I was, I didn’t actually connect the two events. I just thought someone had really poor letter-writing and letter-addressing skills.

Yeah, it was the dawn of the internet and really not that many people knew about spammers and phishers and all that, but still. . .

What about you, dudes? Any embarrassing stories from the dawn of electronic communication?

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Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, etc.

by Richard

I might have mentioned this before, but I love the comment spam we get here at A Dude’s Guide. Seriously, it’s pretty amazing to think about just how stupid we are considered to be by the spammers.

Most every spam comment, and that’s 99.993% of them because you dudes are slacking off a bit in the comments, comes to us with the most hilariously fractured English. And the funniest thing is the little scams they try to pull off go get published.

I’ve been admonished for deleting previous comments because, you see, they had something important to add to the discussion. Which was odd, considering those particular spammers hadn’t ever sent in a comment before.

Yesterday, as I was culling the comment spam, I found three out of 20 that had a great line in them.

“Thanks a lot for disclose incredibly good informations. Your internet is great.” That’s right, my internet is great. I think I’m going to retire as of now and just live off the money generated by my internet. Of course, something this wonderful couldn’t be true could it? Is it really my internet?

“Thanks for have incredibly excellent informations. Your online is great.” Well, it’s not exactly the same, but, in spirit. . . Maybe. Maybe I really do own the internet.

“Thanks a ton for write about very wonderful informations. Your word wide web is great.” Well, there you go. Three independent verifications. Sounds like a winner to me.

You know, now that I read these, they do seem awfully similar to each other. You don’t suppose this is all some horrible trick and these comments are churned out by a software bot somewhere and just sent out blindly? Do you?

If it seems too good to be true, it probably isn’t. Unless it’s too good to be true for me. In which case I’ll believe with all my heart.

Come to me, my internets! I demand your submission!

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