Tag Archives: Sling


by Richard

This is really good news, dudes. Really good news.

It seems I’ve been discharged by my orthopedic surgeon. Which means that, barring any (more) unfortunate incidents, he doesn’t want to see me in his office complaining about my shoulder to him any more.


You might remember, I had shoulder surgery on Dec. 17, 2010, almost a year ago. Before the surgery, the doctor didn’t think there would be all that much to do. Boy was he wrong. He ended up having to do a complete repair of the rotator cuff, staple the biceps tendon back into place and shave off part of my clavicle bone.

All of which made for a longer-than-expected recovery time. Of course, going through a GI bleed in which I lost so much blood that I kept passing out and falling to the floor whenever I stood up didn’t actually speed the recovery process at all. I kept passing out and I fell several times onto my recovering shoulder. Yeah, that one hurt.

Anyway, after far too many months of rehabilitation and visits to the doctor’s office, I’m finally free!

When I first got surgery and would be walking around with my arm in a sling, I got a lot of sympathy. People would talk about how getting rehab on their shoulder was the worst pain they ever went through. That really psyched me up to go in and start rehab. Here’s where you think I’ll agree with them, but you’d be wrong.

Sure, shoulder rehabilitation was painful, very painful, but it was nothing that can’t be overcome or worked through. Like most pain, it’s sharp and hard and then it fades away. Plus we did get some good drugs to help with that.


If you’re facing shoulder surgery, don’t let the naysayers get you down. Sure it’s going to hurt, but it’s nothing you can’t work through.

Now comes my reward. For the most part, I went under the knife for two reasons: a) when I tried to roll over onto my right side when I was asleep I’d wake up screaming in pain and II) I couldn’t throw the football with Hyper Lad anymore because moving the arm hurt too much.

I’m sleeping the night through, but the best part is yet to come. Tomorrow, when the rain stops and Hyper Lad gets home from school, he and I are going out into the front yard and we’re going to throw the football around.

It’s going to hurt a bit, but I don’t care. This is the thing that will make the pain worth it.

Discharged, dude. Never did a word sound so good.

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In The Land Of The Armless, The One-Armed Man Is King

by Richard

To quote Mel Brooks, “It’s good to be the king.” Or at least it would be if I really were in the land of the armless. Unfortunately, I’m in the normal land here where most everybody has two arms, two hands and can actually get stuff done.

Yep, you guessed right. It’s time for a whine-fest.

It’s been almost two weeks since I had my shoulder operated on and I’m already getting very, very, very tired of walking around with one arm in a sling, strapped to my body. My right arm is basically useless. I’ve been told I can’t even hold things with my right hand because I don’t want to strain the newly repaired muscles and tendons in my shoulder.

I never realized how much I actually do during the day until I couldn’t do any of those things.

I have to get help from my young dudes to tie my shoes. Zipping up is a monumental task. Putting on deodorant requires a few acts of contortions that would strain the credulity of India rubber men at the freak show. I can’t even wash dishes.

See, the thing is I know I have ADD. I can’t sit and do just one thing. If I’m watching TV, I’ll also need to read a book at the same time because I can’t just watch. During most evenings, I will be doing stuff in the kitchen while also keeping an eye on the TV or something similar. Now I can’t.

TV, by itself, is just so boring.

Sitting at the keyboard to write is a chore now. I have to type so very slowly. By the time my fingers have hunted-and-pecked their way to being even with my brain, my brain has moved on and forgotten what I was writing about in the. . .

Still, I can’t get too annoyed. I know I will get the use of my right arm back. Eventually. I’m a lot luckier than a lot of people who are learning to adjust to life with only one arm.

Still. . .

Still. . .

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White Christmas

by Richard

When it begins snowing at 9 pm on Christmas night, that still technically counts as a white Christmas, yeah? I’m going to say yes. Yesterday was, I’m pretty sure, my first ever actual white Christmas.

Not sure what exactly makes a white Christmas so special, dudes. But, whatever it is, we had it.

I don’t feel any different, but there you go.

We did, however, have a lot of fun. Especially the morning after Christmas when we woke up a a white-covered world, full of soft sounds and gently falling flakes.

And then we unleashed the young dudes and Buzz, the garbage disposal that walks like a dog, on the world. Not so much quiet then.

As you can see, Buzz, the garbage disposal that walks like a dog, also runs like a dog. The doggie dude absolutely loved the white stuff falling onto the ground. He ran and pranced and ran and sniffed and ran and barked and ran and played and ran some more. He basically collapsed in exhaustion three times during the morning alone.

He’d come inside, rest near the fire, and then race out the door with the next young dude headed outside.

The young dudes had a great time. They especially loved making snowballs, showing them to Buzz, the garbage disposal that walks like a dog, and then throwing the ball for the dog to chase. Buzz slammed into the snow in headlong pursuit of the ball only to start twirling in puzzlement when he couldn’t find it when it landed. Funny stuff.

I didn’t get to do much snow stuff myself, what with not being able to truly wear a jacket because of my arm in a sling and all, but I did have fun doing one-handed snowball fights. Right up until the time I took a snowball in my unprotected chest and then had the snow slide right into my pants. I knew it was time to pack it up then.

Speaking of which, typing is still a drag. Will sign off now.

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