Tag Archives: Slackers

Back Up To Speed

by Richard

It’s tough, returning from a vacation and trying to get back up to speed on just what’s been going on in your absence.

It’s even more of a challenge to keep a happy face on while you’re doing so.

For instance, Hyper Lad has an iPod Touch, which is basically an iPhone but without the ability to make telephone calls. The problem I have with it is that it also has a lot of games on it. Games which Hyper Lad will play for hours and hours and hours and hours until I or another adult tell the little dude to knock it off.

He knows that he’s not supposed to take the iPod Touch to bed with him because I want him to sleep. While I wasn’t here, though, he was able to sweet talk his grandmother and mom into letting him take it to bed. Most likely he just didn’t tell them about it and took it to bed without them knowing.

When I got home, he tried to tell me how he’d taken the iPod Touch to bed with him, but still got up on time and wasn’t sleepy. The problem for the little dude was that this meant he had been disobeying the house rules, which is what got focused on more than the fact that he got up.

He’s not the only slacker around Casa Dude. Not that I’m calling them all slackers, but I did find that things that I normally do when I’m here didn’t get done when I was gone. So I have to ease them and me back into the groove we’d established before the vacation.

It was different when I was working outside the house. Then I hated to take vacations because I’d always be afraid the bosses would discover that they really didn’t need me and I wouldn’t have a job when I got back. It’s not paranoia. Well, okay, maybe it was.

Anyway, it’s something to remember when you’re planning on going away. Always budget some time when you get back for getting back into the swing of life at home without a mai tai.

Share on Facebook

More Money Than Dog

No, the title isn’t yet another type. In college, I was friends with a dude named Mark, who I always thought of as More Money Than God, Running Amok On Drugs. Long story. Anyway, I was thinking about him when I read this story and wondering if I should have changed his mental name.

This post deals with dogs and cats that are richer than you. And you. Yes, and you as well. The top dog, literally, is Gunther IV, the German Shepherd: This dog actually received his inheritance from his father, Gunther III, a German Shepherd who received an inheritance from Karlotta Liebenstein, a German countess. Gunther IV has bought a Miami villa from Madonna and won a rare white truffle in an auction. Learn more about Gunther IV on a Web site devoted to him and those he hangs out with. He’s worth about $372 million right now, thanks to his growing trust fund.

Yes, you read that right. Gunther IV is worth almost $400 million (MILLION?!?). I’m not even sure I’m worth $400 period. But, geez, this is just crazy.

Gunther IV is followed, distantly, by dogs belonging to Oprah Winfrey. She’s set up a trust so when she dies her dogs will get $30 million to take care of them. Heh. I’ve set up a trust so when I die my little dudes will get some comic books. Hey, at least the recipients of my largess will be able to read, unlike Oprah’s slackers.

As it turns out, dogs aren’t the only animals to receive substantial bequests from daffy owners. Turns out that cats got a little bit here and there as well.

This is the classic rags-to-riches story. Tinker was a stray, regularly visiting Margaret Layne, an old widow. In return for Tinker’s loyalty, he was awarded a fortune. There is a $226,000 trust fund for Tinker, as well as a new home — worth about $800,000. Tinker has been joined by two lovely female cats, Lucky and Stardust. Of course, if Tinker returns to his wandering ways, the will strips him of his money.

I don’t know, but that last bit seems a little strange. I mean, either you’re odd enough to leave money to a pet or you’re not. Making the money conditional on the cat actually doing something seems even odder than normal. Well, normal for these type folks.

I know I couldn’t do something like this, and not just because I haven’t got this kind of money. I just don’t like the whole long-term commitment. Heck, I won’t let our little dudes get a parrot because I don’t want to be taking care of it after they leave the house.

Still, it does make me wonder: How good would I look in a German shepherd suit and would it fool the folks in charge of Gunther?

— Richard

Share on Facebook