Tag Archives: Rhythm

Safety For Summer Also Starts Here Too

Okay, dudes. We all know it’s a good idea to start slow when you’re introducing your pale, pallid body back to the rigors of the summer sun and heat. Or at least you should after the great write-up I gave the entire subject yesterday.

Well, I’m back with a little more information on the subject. And, this time, I’ve got some advice especially for you dudes to remember as summer approaches.

You ready? Of course you are. Here it is. The advice? Start slowly.

I know it seems redundant, considering it’s what I said yesterday. However, this time I’m talking about all those exercises you put off over the winter. After all, if you didn’t do all those exercises over the winter, it’s not like anyone would notice through the sweater, jacket and overcoat you wore all winter long. Which means you’ve probably gained a few pounds and certainly lost a step.

But, being dudes, we’re more likely to step outside and immediately try to regain the form we last had four to five months ago. Guys, it’s not going to work. If you’ve been slacking off on the exercise so you could eat more junk food, you’re not ready to simply resume the whole process.

Again, begin exercising and only gradually increase the difficulty and the length you’re exercising. If you used to run five miles every other day, don’t start off doing that on day one. Work your way up to it. Do some walking and running for shorter distances. Get back to the running, but don’t hit the full five miles. Eventually, when you’re ready, then go for it.

Which reminds me of another little thing I need to add for you dudes. Summer is going to be hot. Really, really hot. You think you know how hot, but you don’t. Not really. You’ve forgotten just how bad it gets during the summer.

Which means you’ve also forgotten the rhythm and habit of drinking a lot of water when you’re working outside. Even something as simple as mowing the lawn can call for several glasses of water. Not beer, understand, but water. You need to replace the fluids you’re going to sweat out and beer just doesn’t replace fluids all that well. Unless the fluid you’re trying to replace is the water in the toilet bowl.

So remember, as you’re heading outside, whether to exercise, mow the lawn, or just enjoy yourself in the great outdoors, make sure you take it slowly, get used to the new rules for summer and have a lot of safe, happy fun.

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Congratulations, Dude! And More From The Expo

Congratulations go out to our new favorite dude, Aaron C. He’s the lucky dude who won that fantastic WebMD baby prize pack.

You had to be at it to win it, but he was there and he did win. At the Baby Shower & Toddler Expo, Barry and I set up a nice little bowl (actually a former container for trail mix from Tarzhay) so people could drop their contact information and possibly win the great stuff.

WebMD is a very nice outfit, quite generous.

So, Aaron C.? We’re trying to reach you by e-mail so we can find a way to get you the prize package. If you know Aaron C., and, really, why wouldn’t you?, give him a pat on the back and a hearty smile, one that just barely hides the jealousy seething within as you contemplate the raw, appalling emotional wound festering inside you all because you decided to sit home last weekend.

And now for something. . . not so completely different.

Here’s a little something I wrote during the Expo. Names have been changed to protect the innocent. All events are fictional, and any resemblance to any person or group, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Barry is dancing again.

He’s dancing to Hell’s House Band. I’ll have nightmares about this for years to come. Those appalling puppet things, with their blank, dead eyes, moving in hitching, jerking spasms that only vaguely resemble human musculature. And Barry. His face contorted in some rictus, rather than a smile.

And he’s . . . moving. I can’t call it dancing, I just can’t. There’s something missing in this, some essential joy that has been driven out in his all-consuming desire to please his puppety masters.

This Expo has been so long. I’ve forgotten the warmth of the sun, and the feel of clean rain swirling down from storm-tossed clouds. The music just won’t stop and. . .


Oh, no.

My foot. It’s. . . It’s twitching. In rhythm. And Hell’s House Band is still playing.

I think it’s too late for me.

Run! Run! Save yourselves!

Ah, good times. Good times.

Wait, I hear you asking. You said the names were changed to protect the innocent and yet there’s Barry’s name up there, bold as brass. To which I answer, “Yes. And?”

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What The Heck Does A.E.D. Stand For?

You’ve seen these signs just about everywhere in public. They’re right here. Look below.


That’s a sign that says there’s an automated external defibrillator nearby. That’s comforting. Sort of. Assuming you dudes and dudettes know what an automated external defibrillator really is.

Basically, that’s a machine that will help you save a life.

Not only is this machine a literal life saver, it also is so easy that anyone who speaks English will be able to use it.

This device will talk you through the steps necessary to use it so you can electrically shock a person’s heart back into a normal rhythm.

Yeah, that’s right. You know in all those medical dramas, when the patient is circling the drain and the doctor starts telling people to charge. Then she starts rubbing these paddle together, yells to get clear and then presses the paddles to the patients chest? Then the patient convulses up into an arch?

That’s what this does. It sends a massive current of electricity through a dying patient, shocking the heart back to beating in a normal rhythm.

One quick note: the holiday season is one of the most stressful times of the year. Which means there are going to be a lot of people suffering through cardiac events. It might even be the person standing right next to you.

Instead of panicking, wouldn’t you rather know what to do? While this device might be automated and easy to use, people still need to put it to use if it’s going to do any good. Which means it’s up to dudes like you to know what to do.

Fortunately, this device is so easy to use, you can learn to do it just bey heading over to the Heart Rescue Now website and watching a short interactive video.

No, I’m not kidding. It’s that easy.

All you have to do is watch the video and, at certain appropriate points, click on one of two choices and you will know exactly what to do should this situation arise while you’re out in a public place.

You can save a life.

Spread the word. Let other people know about this website and learn how to use an A.E.D. You never know. You might be the person who needs help. And, if you do, let’s hope someone nearby has gone through this video.

Go there. Spread the word. Five minutes of your time is a really small price to pay to save a life.

— Richard

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