Tag Archives: Quote

Look! Over There. Not Kidding. This Time I Really Mean It!

Yep, it’s that time of the week again.

And by that time of the week, I mean I’m just assigning a special significance to the day since I think it sounds slightly better than, “Hey, dudes, it’s Thursday.”

Although, that does have some concise elocution to it.

Hey, dudes, it’s Thursday.

Yeah, I actually like that. We’ll go with that.

Anywho. . .

The reason I’m blathering on and basically just filling time is because we’re not here today. We’re over at Charlotte Parent today where I’m talking about ironing. No, not irony. Not Iron Man.

Ironing.

Yeah, well, so’s your mom! It’s really not as boring as it sounds. Or, if it is as boring as it sounds, I make some interesting noises during the column. So I’ve got that going for me.

If you’re not busy, head over to the Stay-At-Home Dudes page on Charlotte Parent and give us a look. Heck, they’ve even got a comment section so you can sound off over there.

A somber moment here before we close for the day. This week saw the passing of comedic great, Harold Ramis, age 69. Ramis was an actor, writer and director who was involved in some of the funniest movies ever committed to celluloid: GhostbustersStripes, Caddyshack and Groundhog Day.

In honor of Mr. Ramis, a dude who was part of making me laugh so hard I yurked up most of a diet coke on my shoes, I’d like to offer the following quote, without comment:

“Are you, Alice, menstruating right now?”

Sort of says it all, yeah?

Thank you, Mr. Ramis.

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Science: In Which We Find The Astonishing. . . And Then Drink It

About a month ago, scientists in Canada found what they consider to be the oldest undisturbed cache of water on the planet. This water had been sitting under a huge rock for more than 1.5 BILLION years.

That, dudes, is a long time. A seriously long time. And it’s probably just the lower limit. More than likely this water is much older.

So these scientists, including one Dr. Barbara Sherwood Lollar, began investigating the water, looking for descendants of ancient microbes, testing all sorts of stuff. This was basically a cache of primordial soup, around long before anything remotely resembling human life was around.

Which is a good thing. Because, apparently, the water tastes horribly. So you know humans wouldn’t have wanted to–

Wait. It tastes horribly? How would we know that. The scientists were supposed to be subjecting the water to science. And stuff.

Well, we know because Dr. Barbara Sherwood Lollar got a bit curious.

As a lead researcher and newfound connoisseur of primordial soup, Lollar described the physical properties of the liquid during a recent interview with the LA Times. And what’s ancient water like? Salty, viscous, and turns kind of orangey when exposed to air. Refreshing!

I have to admit I have tasted it from time to time. It tastes terrible. It is much saltier than seawater. You would definitely not want to drink this stuff.

Yeah. She tasted it. From time to time. That means she tasted the primordial soup, bleched over the taste, went back to doing science-y stuff and then thought, “Maybe it tastes better now?” and tried it again. I wonder if she had oyster crackers for the second helping of primordial soup.

Admittedly, the first time was for science, for which we commend her bravery. But once you’re on the second and third rounds of primordial sauce, motive starts to get a little hazy. Especially when you consider that scientists are still waiting to find out if the liquid is hiding any number of ancient lifeforms. But once you’ve tasted that salty, syrupy nectar, putting down the beaker is a lot easier said than done. Apparently.

Thanks to the good folks at Gizmodo and writer Ashley Feinberg for letting this lovely little tidbit out into the internets.

This is the sort of stuff you just can’t make up. Or, well, I guess you could, but it would probably end up with Dr. Lollar contracting some sort of horrible disease that made her hunger for human flesh and stumble around looking all deadlike.

Now that I think about it, there may be something there. Thanks, science! And thanks, Dr. Lollar.

Science: We ingest unknown substances possibly harboring time-lost lifeforms that could be capable of killing us so you won’t have to. Not that you would have to, you understand. Okay, we just wanted to. That’s our motto and we’re sticking with it.

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In The Land Of The Armless, The One-Armed Man Is King

by Richard

To quote Mel Brooks, “It’s good to be the king.” Or at least it would be if I really were in the land of the armless. Unfortunately, I’m in the normal land here where most everybody has two arms, two hands and can actually get stuff done.

Yep, you guessed right. It’s time for a whine-fest.

It’s been almost two weeks since I had my shoulder operated on and I’m already getting very, very, very tired of walking around with one arm in a sling, strapped to my body. My right arm is basically useless. I’ve been told I can’t even hold things with my right hand because I don’t want to strain the newly repaired muscles and tendons in my shoulder.

I never realized how much I actually do during the day until I couldn’t do any of those things.

I have to get help from my young dudes to tie my shoes. Zipping up is a monumental task. Putting on deodorant requires a few acts of contortions that would strain the credulity of India rubber men at the freak show. I can’t even wash dishes.

See, the thing is I know I have ADD. I can’t sit and do just one thing. If I’m watching TV, I’ll also need to read a book at the same time because I can’t just watch. During most evenings, I will be doing stuff in the kitchen while also keeping an eye on the TV or something similar. Now I can’t.

TV, by itself, is just so boring.

Sitting at the keyboard to write is a chore now. I have to type so very slowly. By the time my fingers have hunted-and-pecked their way to being even with my brain, my brain has moved on and forgotten what I was writing about in the. . .

Still, I can’t get too annoyed. I know I will get the use of my right arm back. Eventually. I’m a lot luckier than a lot of people who are learning to adjust to life with only one arm.

Still. . .

Still. . .

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