With school all started up again, the folks at Beloit College have come out with their annual mindset list. No, it’s got nothing to do with yoga, transcendental meditation or psychics. Basically, it’s a list of stuff designed to make sure their professors don’t go around dropping outdated pop cultural references in class that their [...]]]> by Richard

With school all started up again, the folks at Beloit College have come out with their annual mindset list. No, it’s got nothing to do with yoga, transcendental meditation or psychics. Basically, it’s a list of stuff designed to make sure their professors don’t go around dropping outdated pop cultural references in class that their students wouldn’t understand.

Like, gag me with a spoon, you know?

It’s easy to make fun of out-of-touch professors who can’t keep up with the zeitgeist (German for spirit of the times). In fact, it’s so easy, I’m not even going to get into the silliness of making this list so the professors can pretend to be up to date. Let’s just look at the list itself. That’s easy to make fun of.

This list is made with the class of 2014 in mind. That is, the kids who are entering college this year, which means most of them will have been born in 1992. Whoa. I just realized. That’s the year before Sarcasmo made his first sarcastic comment. (a snarky, sideways look. She Who Must Sometimes Misremember Because She Was Under Anesthetic disagrees, but I’m sure I saw it when I was giving him his first diaper change and he peed on me.)

Anyway. The list.

No. 1 shows us that Few in the class know how to write in cursive. I’m not so sure about this. Even Hyper Lad, who’ll be in the class of 2021, knows how to write in cursive. He doesn’t like it, and all three little dudes confess ignorance about how to read cursive, but they do know how to write it. I’m not even going to comment on the inherent contradiction there. Too silly.

Picking purely at random and not because I can think of a good joke for it: No. 12: Clint Eastwood is better known as a sensitive director than as Dirty Harry. Go ahead, make my loving and tender comment. You know, it just doesn’t have the same resonance, does it?

No. 28. They’ve never recognized that pointing to their wrists was a request for the time of day. Now this one I’ll go with, no question. None of the three little dudes wears a watch. Not only that, but I have to work with them to get them to be able to read my analog watch. They’ve got cell phones with time displays on them. So do I and, I’m sure, most of you. It’s just I feel, well, naked without a watch, I’ve been wearing one so long. Strange to think that in 20 years, the watch will be seen as a trite antique, something only the very old wear. Or maybe as jewelry. I think I’ll be selling my Seiko stock right about now.

Now, this last one really frosts me. No. 74. They’ve always been able to blast off with the Sci-Fi (SYFY) Channel. You young punks don’t know how good you’ve got it. Why I had to search all over to find quality entertainment like Mansquito and all you’ve got to do is flip on the TV. Young punks.

Go ahead and check out the whole thing at http://www.beloit.edu/mindset/2014.php

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With the economy cratering, finding shovels and continuing to dig down, charitable donations are reaching lows unheard of even 15 or 20 years ago. And, of course, right [...]]]> No, I’m not talking about that fabulous band of punk all stars, Me First and the Gimme Gimmes. I’m actually trying to be cute while talking about something serious.

With the economy cratering, finding shovels and continuing to dig down, charitable donations are reaching lows unheard of even 15 or 20 years ago. And, of course, right now is when they need more and more donations to help the people hurt by the economy.

All of which brings me to DonorsChoose.org, which is, as they so eloquently put it on their website a charity “connecting you to classrooms in need.” This is an exceedingly cool site. Actual teachers from actual classrooms in high-poverty schools have specific projects they think would benefit their students and you can see how much is needed to purchase those items for which the teachers are asking.

For instance, as of last night, Mr. D. of New York, only needed a little over $650 more to purchase science lab netbooks for the critically ill students he teaches. To help, all you’d have to do is go there and make with a little clicky, clicky. It’s actually quite easy.

There are also a number of projects going that need only a couple of hundred dollars, in total, to do a lot of good. There are projects you could finish off with something as small as a $25 donation. It’s all up to you.

To sweeten the deal, I’ll match whatever any of you donate to donorschoose.org. In the comments, show me some proof that you’ve donated to the charity and I’ll go there and match it. Whaddya say? See you there?

– Richard

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Which might go a long way toward explaining why it’s on the list of top holidays [...]]]> I’m not just talking about a seminal punk-ish band. No, I’m using that as a pun so I can talk about blowin’ stuff up. What can I say? I’m a dude. We like to blow stuff up. It’s in our genes.

Which might go a long way toward explaining why it’s on the list of top holidays for my three little dudes. Just yesterday, Speed Racer was perusing the newspaper (searching for the comics. I can’t get him interested in the actual news of a newspaper. Yet.) when he ran across a story about fireworks being sold and sold a lot. He was, to say the least, a bit excited.

“Can we go there? To this place? They’ve got two for one. We can get a lot of fireworks. Can we go today? Right now?”

I had to calm him down a little. For one thing, it’s difficult to talk to someone when they’re clawing into the ceiling and running about like a hyperactive spider. For another, I knew I’d have to wait for his brother, Sarcasmo, to get home from his leadership camp. It would not be good if we were to go buy fireworks and leave Sarcasmo behind. I’d never hear the end of it.

Still, this is an event to which we all look forward. Me because it’s fun to watch all three little dudes pick out stuff to blow up. Them because, well, they’re picking out stuff to blow up.

Our favorites are mortars. Just because we love the thump as they launch and they really do look fantastic when they explode all the way up there in the air.

– Richard

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