Remember way back when Dennis Miller used to be funny? Yeah, I know. Hard to reach back that far. Still, he was at his funniest when he was at his angriest, when he was on a rant.

I’m not that funny, but I’m about to go on a rant. And I do mean to go [...]]]> by Richard

Remember way back when Dennis Miller used to be funny? Yeah, I know. Hard to reach back that far. Still, he was at his funniest when he was at his angriest, when he was on a rant.

I’m not that funny, but I’m about to go on a rant. And I do mean to go off on it.

Back on Valentine’s Day, we got a comment entered in an post that was so old we had to blow the spiderwebs off it so we could actually read what we wrote. Which means, usually, we got spammed by some kind of robot. And not the fun kind. This robot-installed spam was hawking academic papers that you could buy.

Yeah, that’s right. The place, which I will not dignify with a link, is a cheating factory.

There’s an argument that buying papers off the internet isn’t cheating. That those papers only serve as a guideline to the — ha! — students who buy them. A way for them to help focus their thoughts.

Yeah, right. And I’m the Queen of Iceland. Admittedly, I do look good in a nice mauve prom dress and a tiara, but Iceland doesn’t actually have a queen. I think you get my point.

The purpose of an essay is not to punish the students. Well, most of the time. Seriously, it’s so that the professor can make sure the students have actually grasped the point of a section of knowledge and are able to synthesize ideas, resolve contradictions and form coherent opinions about that knowledge. These are all important skills. And buying papers off the internet doesn’t help achieve that goal.

I know I’m speaking as a very old person here. There’s no student who likes writing an essay. I know I didn’t when I was that age. But, now that I’m old, I can appreciate what it’s trying to accomplish. It’s a worthwhile goal. That and it’s fun to watch little dudes suffer like that.

I still remember the two all-nighters in a row I pulled in trying to write a coherent paper about Kurt Vonnegut’s Jailbird. That thing, like most of Vonnegut’s books, is a mass of twisting narrative that can confound the most agile mind. Of which mine was not. Still, I managed to get the paper done on time and turn it in. I got a “B” and counted myself lucky. I later found out I got that high a grade because the professor felt sorry for me when he saw how I looked when I turned it in. I know, how could he tell the difference? Har, har.

Still, even though it’s hard, people need to learn how to write coherent bits of narrative. You will be judged on how well you write. No one’s going to demand that anyone write as well as Christopher Moore or anything, but you have to be able to get your ideas across in print, or pixel as the case may be.

I just do not like these kinds of services. I think they cheat the professor and the student. And that’s not good.

Okay. I’m done. End of rant. Go about your business.

Related posts

• Trade Off (0)
• Freaky Friday: The Mist (1)
• Dude Review: Under The Dome (0)
• My Place, And The Putting Me In Thereof (0)
• Freaky Friday: Gang Green (1)

A palindrome is a word or phrase that is spelled the same both forward and backward. For instance: dad, mom, Bob, race car. That sort of thing.

But sometimes there are people who go so far beyond the ordinary palindrome that a simple English trick can turn into a thing of beauty, leaving people (well, [...]]]> by Richard

A palindrome is a word or phrase that is spelled the same both forward and backward. For instance: dad, mom, Bob, race car. That sort of thing.

But sometimes there are people who go so far beyond the ordinary palindrome that a simple English trick can turn into a thing of beauty, leaving people (well, me at least) awestruck by the sheer elegance of its simplicity. The video below is one such thing.

I found out about this in an e-mail. Supposedly, it was created for a contest for the AARP (American Association of Real Punters) called “u @ 50.” I’m using their spelling, if only to make fun of them. Of course, that’s pretty much what I do every day, so I’m not sure why I actually called your attention to it.

Whatever.

Unbelievably, this video only received second place. I’m interested in seeing the actual winner.

Make sure you read along. You’ll be really amazed, dude.

Related posts

• The Monkey’s Paw (0)
• Stupid People (0)
• Pinin’ For The Fjords (0)
• Me First And The Gimmie Gimmies* (0)
• Keeping Track (0)

First off, yes, I know the title looks like it’s spelled wrong. It’s a pun, or a play on words. You’ll get it in a little bit. Seems there a bit of a kerfluffle around now about cul de sacs, streets that have one entrance and then end in the opposite side with a [...]]]> by Richard

First off, yes, I know the title looks like it’s spelled wrong. It’s a pun, or a play on words. You’ll get it in a little bit. Seems there a bit of a kerfluffle around now about cul de sacs, streets that have one entrance and then end in the opposite side with a circle in which to turn around. According to an urban planning professor, they’re bad. Bad for kids, bad for parents, bad in general.

Blah, blah, blah. That’s from me. (notice how I take such reasoned discourse when someone espouses an opinion that’s different from my own? I am the epitome of polite debate, yeah?) Still, despite the withering nature of my own attack, I feel the professor has a bit more to say. Shall we?

. . . if you live on a typical cul de sac, there is probably no way for them to walk to anything fun — the movies, the mall. So either we are stuck chauffeuring them (that’s why cul de sacs are so hard on moms), or they have to drive themselves, sometimes for miles, even to get a Slurpee. And the least safe place for teens to be is behind the wheel of a car.

Flabby kids and parents. Unlike our grandparents, we have no way of walking anywhere. And by the way, walking used to be a great way to meet the neighbors, too. Now everyone’s sealed inside their house or a car (and sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference).

Those are actually the thoughts of Lenore Skenazy, the lady to whose blog I linked. She’s paraphrasing the urban planning professor. Don’t you just love the complete and direct sourcing I give to you all? It’s impeccable.

But back to the problem at hand. And that problem is that they’re wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. And I’m not just saying that because we live in a cul de sac. Although it helps. I’ve talked to a lot of our neighbors here about this and we all agree that these dudes and dudettes don’t know what they’re talking about. Our cul de sac lets out onto a smallish, but still busy street. Our little dudes get all the street-crossing problems they can handle, considering cars hardly ever actually stop at the stop sign.

Hop on a bike and they can ride along sidewalks to a small shopping center that has everything from a grocery store and a pizza joint to a hair cutting salon and a UPS store. I really think it’s the best of both worlds. We got a semi-isolated place for our little dudes to roam around in and we also get the ability to teach them about crossing streets and finding their own entertainment on a bike. That way they won’t get so fat there’ll be a natural-selection cull down the road. (See? There’s the pun. Not much, but it was all I had.)

I say, enjoy the cul de sacs for what they are. And, if you want to work on the little dudes and dudettes, just kick them out and lock the door for a while. They’ll get the hint.

Related posts

• Finally, The End Of Choosing A Pre-School (0)
• Birthday Party (0)
• Waaazzzzzuuuuuppp? (0)
• Still Choosing A Pre-School (0)
• Lo, The Countdown Begins Anew (0)