There is something deeply wrong with so-called child-rearing expert and syndicated columnist John Rosemond. (Hence the title. It were a punne, or a play on words.) In his latest newspaper column, published on April 27 here in Charlotte, NC, Rosemond takes to task those fathers who commit the heinous sin of actually high-fiving their little [...]]]> by Richard

There is something deeply wrong with so-called child-rearing expert and syndicated columnist John Rosemond. (Hence the title. It were a punne, or a play on words.) In his latest newspaper column, published on April 27 here in Charlotte, NC, Rosemond takes to task those fathers who commit the heinous sin of actually high-fiving their little dudes and dudettes.

No, seriously. He says that high-fiving the little dudes is a very bad, bad thing. Why, you whisper in shocked astonishment? Well, says he, because if you high five the little dudes, you’re forfeiting your right to leadership over the young ‘uns. Again, yes, seriously. That is what he said.

. . . although this common practice is well-intentioned, it diminishes a child’s ability to view his father as an authority figure. Children need two L-words from their parents: love and leadership.

The high-fiving dad is a loving guy who has substituted relationship for leadership, a proposition that does not work in any leadership setting.”

Say what?

I do believe he’s seriously suggesting an either/or proposition here. Either you’re some remote, unapproachable leader of men (well, little dudes, but you get the idea) or you’re some kind of commie-symp wimp who wants to be all buddy-buddy with your progeny at the expense of showing them what a man really does.

Personally, I find this outrageous. This dude has some serious baggage in the brain if he really believes this is true. I’ve read Rosemond before and thought he’s had some good idea, but he’s really run off the rails here. I mean, take a look at this.

Providing encouragement, helping people reach higher, is characteristic of all good leaders. But effective leaders do so without crossing the line of relationship. In fact, encouragement is most effective coming from someone who is clearly your superior, not someone who is trying to be your buddy.

Whoa! Again, seriously? He really wants dads to hide up on a pedestal, deigning only to speak to the lowlies on special occasions? Wow!

A side note: As I was writing this post, I had the Rosemond article sitting beside my beloved MacBook Pro. I’d wandered off into the bathroom to brush my teeth (really) and was doing so when Zippy the Monkey Boy walked in. I turned to see what he wanted and he simply raised his hands for a high-five. I laughed, gave it to him and then asked if he’d read the article. Yep, he said. “What did you think about it?”

“I thought it was complete hokum,” said Zippy the Monkey Boy. “High-fiving is just another way of showing encouragement, sort of like shaking hands was for those old crusties.”

Then he melted my heart. “I think we’ve got a good relationship and I’ve got a good leader.” With that, he hitched up the shorts that were sliding off his butt and walked back out to make his lunch for school.

So, that’s one (extremely intelligent) little dude’s opinion. Let’s look at this a bit more.

I think Zippy the Monkey Boy is right. High-fiving has moved into the realm of everyday gestures in habited by the thumbs up, the handshake and the OK sign. It’s just something people do.

Rosemond’s problem with this, I think, comes from the fact that he’s from an older generation, one that had never heard of the high five until they were very set in their ways. He also seems to have a definition of leadership that excludes leadership by example. It seems to me that his vision of a family leader is one who is unimpeachably right, stern while giving orders and more than a bit remote from those whom he is leading.

Whereas I see leadership in the family as consisting of setting a good example in ways both fun and somber, providing the right verbal and physical encouragement, and being there to support and guide the little dude or dudette when he or she runs into problems.

The one thing we agree on here is that all dads should show and give their love to the little dudes. That’s something I think we can all agree on.

Related posts

• A Different Definition (0)
• Freaky Friday: Verbal Sight (0)
• Freaky Friday: Online Ostracism (1)
• Dude Review: The Incredible Hercules: The Mighty Thorcules (0)
• Cheating: A Rant (2)

Well, who knew circumcision could be such a sharp divide among readers? You know, I almost tried to make a really crappy pun here using the word cutting, but I thought better of it. I guess that mental censor of mine can to it’s job. On occasion. When it’s in the mood.

Moving on.

Last week, we [...]]]> by Richard

Well, who knew circumcision could be such a sharp divide among readers? You know, I almost tried to make a really crappy pun here using the word cutting, but I thought better of it. I guess that mental censor of mine can to it’s job. On occasion. When it’s in the mood.

Moving on.

Last week, we featured a part of A Dude’s Guide to Babies that focuses on circumcision. In it, we mentioned that there was a bit of a controversy over whether or not to get a little dude circumcised. Some of you might not know, but there’s a very vociferous set of dudes and dudettes out there who are very, very much opposed to circumcision.

An apt comparison just occurred to me: circumcision is like George W. Bush. You either love it or hate it. There’s no middle ground.

In the last post, we received two well-written ver passionate comments talking about how circumcision was a very bad thing. The upshot of the comments was that, and I’m paraphrasing here, doctors are concealing the truth about how bad circumcision is for little dudes and that I was remiss about not going into great detail about the harmful effects of circumcision.

So I went back to the American Academy of Pediatrics to look at that body’s position on circumcision. Before I get into that, I want to say a few words about why I even care what the AAP has to say. The AAP is a group made up of pediatricians from around the country. Now, the majority of pediatricians I’ve met are generous, caring physicians who want only to do right by their patients. They also conduct research that is reviewed, criticized and given the thumbs up or down by their peers. I’m a big believer in the scientific method.

The vast, vast majority of the time, results that come out of rigorous scientific study, while you might not like them, are at least based on facts that can be replicated, which leads to believability. At least on my part. The main purpose of the scientific method is to find flaws with various postulates. If there are no flaws found, that does not mean a postulate is true, just that the flaws have not yet been found. And more research will be done to find those flaws.

So, yeah, you could say that I lean a bit toward giving AAP policy reports a believability stamp. Which means I will probably get attacked (and I’m using that world advisedly considering we don’t get that many readers here) for being a stooge of the man, but, hey. I’ve done my own reading on the subject and this is the conclusion to which I’ve come. Of course, you’ll need to come to your own conclusion.

Anyway, here’s first part fo the AAP policy statement.

Existing scientific evidence demonstrates potential medical benefits of newborn male circumcision; however, these data are not sufficient to recommend routine neonatal circumcision. In circumstances in which there are potential benefits and risks, yet the procedure is not essential to the child’s current well-being, parents should determine what is in the best interest of the child. To make an informed choice, parents of all male infants should be given accurate and unbiased information and be provided the opportunity to discuss this decision. If a decision for circumcision is made, procedural analgesia should be provided.

Although the exact frequency is unknown, it is estimated that 1.2 million newborn males are circumcised in the United States annually at a cost of between $150 and $270 million. This practice has been advocated for reasons that vary from symbolic ritual to preventive health measure. Until the last half century, there has been limited scientific evidence to support or repudiate the routine practice of male circumcision.

All of which basically backs up what Barry and I had to say in last week’s post. There are reasons for and against circumcision, but the decision is up to the parents. If you’re about to make that decision, go out there and get informed. Do the research. Come to your own conclusion, dude.

Related posts

• Freaky Friday: Video Games Equal Bad Grades (0)
• Child Safety (0)
• The Guide: The Cruelest Cut Or The Coolest Cut (2)
• Not-So-Rosy Outlook (0)
• Freaky Friday: The Mist (1)

This is one of those hidden talents that probably should have stayed, well, hidden.

As I said yesterday, I recently found out that I can do household repairs slightly more complicated than changing out a light bulb, which will be of great comfort to those family members for whom I’ve already done what I laughingly call [...]]]> by Richard

This is one of those hidden talents that probably should have stayed, well, hidden.

As I said yesterday, I recently found out that I can do household repairs slightly more complicated than changing out a light bulb, which will be of great comfort to those family members for whom I’ve already done what I laughingly call repairs. Oops. Oh, well. I can make the repairs to the repairs now.

What accounts for this new-found competence? No idea. Maybe I’ve just been touched Ouchdarnit!where’sthebandaids?, the god of household repairs. Whatever. It means I’ve been fixing things.

Even when I shouldn’t. Take, for instance, hidden talent #2: What’s that smell?

This problem hit all at once. I was busy shoveling the remains of a particularly bad dinner down the garbage disposal when the silly thing backed up on me. I tried the usual remedies. I shoved my hand down there and cleaned it out — just after I remembered to actually turn it off and wait for the blades to stop spinning. I tried to plunge it clear and managed to shoot disgusting water/food slush out the other sink and all over the kitchen floor. I even used Drano on the thing. (I know, I know. What can I say? I was desperate.) Nothing worked.

It was time to get nasty.

I cleaned everything out from the cabinets under the sink and brought out my 5-gallon bucket. I put the bucket under the u-bend in the pipes down there and started loosening pipe. Eventually I did manage to get the u-bend off and water flooded into the bucket. Remember when I said it was a 5-gallon bucket? Yeah, well, turned out there was 5.2 gallons of water and gunk in the pipes. Yeah.

After I cleaned up that mess, I got down to business. I started shoving things through the u-bend pipe, looking to dislodge whatever was in there blocking the water. Nothing. I cleaned a little more pipe that would had been attached to the u-bend. Still nothing. So I put all the pipe back together and tried the disposal.

Speaking of nothing. . . It still didn’t work. I sighed and got back to work loosening pipes. After cleaning up from the water that spilled out when I forgot to put the 5-gallon bucket down again, I decided to concentrate on the one pipe I hadn’t cleaned earlier. I pulled out the pipe that lead from under the sink out through the wall and away.

That was when I noticed the smell. Something like a cross between 10-day-dead squashed skunk, that waxy gunk you sometimes find between your toes and what happens when the toilet paper misses just a bit and you’re in a hurry. So, yeah. Bad. Not knowing when to leave well enough alone, pack up and sell the house, I continued.

When I finally got the pipe out, I saw that it was filled with this black, jelly-like substance that stank so bad I could see the stink particles coming off it in waves (Hey! A physics joke. Enjoy.). I dropped the pipe, ran upstairs and caught a giant breath over the cat litter box in Zippy the Monkey Boy’s bathroom and got to work. I carried the pipe outside and upended it over a lush patch of grass, which began to brown before the gunk even touched it. Sticks, leaves and other yard detritus served to clean out the pipe and leave it in a slightly more serviceable condition.

I got everything put back together and, wonder of wonders, it actually worked. Well, except for a small leak, but I managed to fix that with the plumbers friend: crack sealant (that was what we call a punne or play on words).

So, two hidden talents discovered and two repairs made. The next time something goes wrong, I think I’m going to discover a new hidden talent: Finding the name of a good handyman.

Related posts

• Big Dude On Campus, For Certain Values of Campus. And, Truthfully, Big. (0)
• A Different Definition (0)
• Dude Review: Under The Dome (0)
• More Than A Rooster (0)
• Freaky Friday: Verbal Sight (0)