That’s right, dudes and dudettes, Barry and Richard are opening up a second home here on the internet. By which I mean that we’re not actually going anywhere, nor are we suddenly rich or anything. There’s just another place where we get to put a picture of us up an not have people wonder where in the most wanted list we’re numbered.
You might remember that we’re going to have a column in Charlotte Parentmagazine every month. Well, things have changed a bit. We’re going to be in the print version of the magazine, which comes out near the end of each month, on the even months (February, April, June, August, October, December) and we’re going to have a new column on the website at least once a month on the even months.
I say at least because the fools wonderful folks at Charlotte Parenthave given us the keys to the kingdom. Or at least the password to upload something to the website.
If you think we’re going to let that go by without abusing using it. . . Well, you haven’t been paying attention.
Not that we blame you, of course. We haven’t really been paying attention all that much ourselves.
In fact, we. . . we. . . Hnh.
Even though we’re going to be printed in the even months, we’re also going to have that column get posted on the website as well. So, if you’re ever worried about not getting enough of us here at the Dude’s Guide, don’t fret.
Although, maybe you should fret. Or see a doctor, maybe. I mean, you don’t get enough of us? There might be something wrong with you. And by might I mean there definitely is.
I know you dudes have all heard a lot about the mutant menace, but I want to talk about the other menace, the one you don’t even notice because it’s been there for so long.
For more than 40 years, Trask Industries has been hanging around, building bombs, weapons and genetic bioweapons designed to find, suppress, and, when possible, kill mutants.
This is just wrong. I mean, I know that mutants have been a major destabilizing force for years, ever since they came out of the genetic closet after the near-miss during the Cuban Missile Crisis, but come on.
These mutants aren’t scary creatures from the depths of space, operating on unknown logic. They’re people. They come from families just like you and me. They’re raised in our cities and on our farms and in our suburbs. Just because they have powers and abilities that are different from those we humans have, that’s no reason to round them up and toss them in camps, to presume they’re guilty.
Mutants are just like people. There are some good, some bad and the great majority somewhere in between.
And yet Trask Industries keeps pumping out Sentinels. These monstrous robotic killing machines — yes, I said it, killing machines — are found on every corner all over the world. This is big brother. Really big brother.
The one thing that has allowed this to take place has been the dehumanization of the mutants as a whole. We’ve followed along in the steps of demagogues who keep telling us that mutants are less than human. And then, when Bolivar Trask said he found a way to electronically differentiate an active mutant from a baseline human. . . Well, all bets were off. If they’re different, then we need to kill them before they kill us. And who’s to say these Mutant Detection Devices even work? I mean, Trask Industries calls it proprietary and won’t let anyone take a real good look inside.
If you want to talk scary, let’s talk Sentinels Mark I. These aren’t even human at all. There’s no human in the decision loop. Each one of these operates on a set of software code, but it operates independently. If it decides to shoot down a little dude or little dudette just because they have the x-gene, something they might not even be aware of, then we can’t stop it.
And the government just allows this to happen. Heck, Bolivar Trask got rich selling these metal monstrosities to governments all around the world. I wouldn’t be surprised if some day these things just decided the best way to protect the human race was to take over completely and sterilize anyone found with the x-gene.
Seriously. I mean, have you looked — really looked — at the propaganda posters that are going up lately? If that thought, that image, doesn’t scare you, then you haven’t been paying attention.
To make matters worse, there’s talk that Trask Industries now is developing a Sentinel Mark X, which is going to incorporate some sort of genetically engineered bioweapon on board.
People, this just isn’t right. We need to do something. Write to your congressman or congresswoman, to your senators. Heck, why not write to the great Bolivar Trask his ownself? Let them know we believe mutants are human, too.
I started going bald early, about the time when I was 16 or so. That’s considered a mutation. Not much use in sowing terror or combatting dangerous criminals, I’ll grant you, but a mutation nonetheless. Am I next? Do I need to start fearing the sound of those soulless monsters clanging down the street after me?
We need to do something. Now. Not next week. Don’t wait until 2014. By then it could be too late.
If you’ve not been paying attention for the last couple of months, you dudes probably didn’t know there was a Can-eh-dian up in space.
On the International Space Station to be exact.
Chris Hadfield, the ISS’s first Canadian commander, is, it turns out, a tremendous PR asset to the very idea of space travel itself.
He’s a natural, he is. In addition to tweeting, and liveblogging and all sorts of great stuff that involves everyone on Earth with the folks floating above, he also started a pretty awesome cool youtube.com channel.
Through that format, Hadfield has shown us Earthbound clods how they do it up in space. This, as they say, is how they roll. Or, really, how they float.
Being a real dude, Hadfield showed us that real men — real astronauts — can cry.
He also showed us how astronauts sleep on the ISS when they don’t have beds, don’t have blankies and would float away on a mild breeze if prodded.
I grabbed most of these videos from a great compilation post from Techland at time.com. You dudes really should head over there and see all these wonderful videos.