Tag Archives: panic

I (Heart) You, Babe

St. Valentine’s Day come round again, bringing with it the pure joy and sense of togetherness that is love.

It surely wouldn’t bring with it feelings of inadequacy, panic, anger, frustration, sexual frustration, crumpling under pressure, performance anxiety, fervent desire to be somewhere — anywhere — else. Surely.

Ha, don’t call it Shirley.

I’m not sure if it’s a difference between dudes and dudettes, but the men I know really have no special affection for Valentine’s Day. To us, it’s just a day where we used to get candy in school and (at least for me) that inadequate feeling when the only Valentines in your bag were the ones that got given out to everyone in the classroom.

Even when I ostensibly grew up, I never saw all that much reason to celebrate Valentine’s Day. I probably got it from my AlohaDoc, aka my dad.

I can’t remember how many times he told me the story of how, when he was a young dude himself, he used to break up with whoever his girlfriend was at the time right around the first of February. That way he didn’t have to go out and purchase a gift.

Women, on the other candy assortment, seem to love Valentine’s Day. I found this out during the first Valentine’s Day I spent with the lady who would become my wife, known to me then as She Who Must Be Having More Fun Than Anyone I’ve Ever Met Before.

We were about to swap presents when she said, “I love Valentine’s Day. It’s always been so special to me.”

At which point my heart crumbled to dust, sifted out my body and landed in a small, dry pile on the linoleum of her dad’s kitchen floor. Because, being an idiot, I’d managed to get her something remarkably unspecial. Heck, it was so unspecial, I can’t even remember what it was.

What I do remember is the look on her face, the sadness trying to hide behind a really bad poker face. I’ve learned since then. Valentine’s Day is a big deal.

Me? Still not so much. The way I see it, I would rather receive spontaneous recognition of someone’s love for me during the year than have one day where that display is mandated. I mean, is it really special when you’ve got to do it?

I’m not so sure about that.

Anyway, I don’t want to come off sounding all cynical and anti-love. I’m not. Well, not anti-love. I can’t help being cynical. I mean, after all, my eyes and ears do work and I pay attention to the world. How could I not be cynical?

But not cynical about love. Love is amazing. Love. Love will keep us together. It’s just Valentine’s Day I have a problem with.

That said, I still went out and got some very nice presents to hand over to my Sweetie. I’m not telling because she’ll probably read this before I have a chance to give them to her.

The hug’s going to be nice. As for anything else. . .

See you later, dudes.

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What The Heck Does A.E.D. Stand For?

You’ve seen these signs just about everywhere in public. They’re right here. Look below.


That’s a sign that says there’s an automated external defibrillator nearby. That’s comforting. Sort of. Assuming you dudes and dudettes know what an automated external defibrillator really is.

Basically, that’s a machine that will help you save a life.

Not only is this machine a literal life saver, it also is so easy that anyone who speaks English will be able to use it.

This device will talk you through the steps necessary to use it so you can electrically shock a person’s heart back into a normal rhythm.

Yeah, that’s right. You know in all those medical dramas, when the patient is circling the drain and the doctor starts telling people to charge. Then she starts rubbing these paddle together, yells to get clear and then presses the paddles to the patients chest? Then the patient convulses up into an arch?

That’s what this does. It sends a massive current of electricity through a dying patient, shocking the heart back to beating in a normal rhythm.

One quick note: the holiday season is one of the most stressful times of the year. Which means there are going to be a lot of people suffering through cardiac events. It might even be the person standing right next to you.

Instead of panicking, wouldn’t you rather know what to do? While this device might be automated and easy to use, people still need to put it to use if it’s going to do any good. Which means it’s up to dudes like you to know what to do.

Fortunately, this device is so easy to use, you can learn to do it just bey heading over to the Heart Rescue Now website and watching a short interactive video.

No, I’m not kidding. It’s that easy.

All you have to do is watch the video and, at certain appropriate points, click on one of two choices and you will know exactly what to do should this situation arise while you’re out in a public place.

You can save a life.

Spread the word. Let other people know about this website and learn how to use an A.E.D. You never know. You might be the person who needs help. And, if you do, let’s hope someone nearby has gone through this video.

Go there. Spread the word. Five minutes of your time is a really small price to pay to save a life.

— Richard

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Sunday Skills: How To Wrap A Present

by Richard

With Christmas coming up, I know a lot of you dudes are starting to panic. I’m not even talking about the horror of trying to find a gift your wife/girlfriend/significant other/wannabe girlfriend/person you met once on the street will actually enjoy and won’t make him/her/hir think of you as a complete and total idiot.

This is about what comes next.

Once you get the perfect (well, the best we can hope for is the perfectly adequate) gift, you can’t just give it to her (for convenience’s sake) in the sack in which it came home from the store. While convenient (there’s that word again), the only thing it will get you is a nice dope smack upside the head.

It’s time to get out the paper and start wrapping. And that’s where a lot of dudes start panicking. We never learned how to do it. Which is one of the reasons I love the internet. Here’s a great tutorial that will teach you to wrap presents as good as the department stores do. Well, probably not at first, but you’ll get there eventually.

Go watch, enjoy and learn.

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