Tag Archives: North Carolina Wilmington

Turning Dracula Into A DayTripper

It was a scheme only a college student could concoct.

Well, one only a college student could concoct and then seriously contemplate following through on.

And, oy, dude, did our latest college student give it a try.

Zippy the College Boy has been home from school for the summer. When he first came home, his mom and I made clear that he was to either get a job or start volunteering at some worthy charity. Which gave him some weeks while he “searched” for a job and tried to “find” a place to volunteer.

Eventually, we grew disgusted enough that we simply went ahead and signed him up to volunteer for Habitat for Humanity, and it wasn’t even in the construction field. All he had to do was hang out in the ReStore, which is like a Goodwill thrift store, in that it sells donated goods for very low prices.

Not a difficult gig, to be sure.

Which meant that Zippy the College Boy spent most of his time like most college students on vacation do. In other words, he stayed up all night and then slept all day. Seriously.

The young dude would wake up around 4 pm (this is, of course, provided I didn’t grow disgusted with his behavior and “accidentally” wake him up), shuffle into the kitchen, grab something to eat for breakfast, then get his head together, then start trying to get some things done. And he’d complain because there was never anyone in the offices when he called.

It was difficult for him to get through his head that not everyone woke up as the sun went down and then stayed awake until the sun rose once again.

Still, it worked — mostly — for Zippy the College Boy.

Right up until a couple of days ago.

Zippy the College Boy realized that he’d be headed back to University of North Carolina Wilmington in a week or so and he’d have to rearrange his whole sleep-wake cycle to more closely accommodate the vast majority of humans steaming around under the relentless rays of the sun.

So, what did he do? Did he begin going to bed earlier? Begin waking up earlier? In an effort to slowly realign his circadian rhythms to the standard diurnal mode?

Of course not. Don’t be silly.

What he decided to do was to simply stay up all night, like normal, and then continue staying up all day so that when night arrived he’d be ready for bed and back on track.

The first I knew about it was when I got up at 8:30 am to walk Buzz, the garbage disposal that walks like a dog, and found Zippy the College Boy already up and moving about. After I got over my shock, I simply took him on face value. Maybe he really did get up early.

During the day, though, he started drooping and I twigged to what was going on. When I confronted him about it, Zippy the College Boy woke right up and started proudly detailing his scheme. I’m pretty sure he thought he was the first person to ever consider this particular pathway.

By around dinner time, though, all his pep done popped. He was pooped out and seemed glued to the couch, with a blanket over his shoulders and his eyes steadily moving into darkness.

He was out. And when I tried to go to bed around midnight, he woke up and smiled brightly at me, thinking it was morning and it had worked.

Not so much.

I was tired, though, so I went to bed. Him? If you believe him, he went to bed, listened to music for an hour or so, and then went to sleep, only to wake early the next morning.

If you believe him.

I’m not so certain. I thought I spotted a certain maniacal gleam in his eyes that was there the first morning he’d stayed up all night. Still, he did manage to stay awake that day and went to bed at a relatively normal hour.

So I guess maybe it worked, but not quite like he planned. It’s one of those things that needs to blind faith in one’s own abilities and a complete ignorance of physical laws to pull off.

In other words, something only a college student could do.

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Eating His Way Through Life

Zippy the College Boy has always been a bit. . . different.

He was the only of my three little dudes who actually broke out from the norm, diet wise, as he was growing up. Sure, he loved mac and cheese and hot dogs and the like, but he also enjoyed salads from an early age. He preferred hot dogs to burgers and absolutely would not go to Chick Fil A, no matter how much the rest of us enjoyed those delicious, delicious waffle fries.

Which made his recent dietetic switch just a little less astonishing than it might have been.

See, his mother recently decided that she needed to drop a few pounds. Personally, I thought she looked pretty much astonishing as she was, but she decided she needed to lose weight. She’s done it. She cut out almost all carbs and has dropped a significant number of pounds.

So Zippy the College Boy has watched his mom’s slimformation and decided he needed to drop a few pounds as well. Not so much as to lose weight as to get, and I quote, “ripped.” Yeah, I think he’s trying to consider what the lovely ladies down at the University of North Carolina Wilmington might be seeing when he takes off his shirt and hangs out in board shorts.

Nothing like a little advertising.

I can say that now, but in college the only thing my shirtless form was advertising was the need for blindfolds and an effective memory scrub. I understand alcohol worked well for that purpose.


Zippy the College Boy followed his mom down the no-to-low-carb path. Which meant he had to significantly change his eating habits. Gone were the late-night Cheeze-It binges. Gone were snarfing down a bag of Goldfish at any hour of the day. Gone were sandwiches, wraps and fries. It was, as you might expect, a major adjustment.

The thing is, though, he took to it like a duck to water. Once he got into the habit of reaching for nuts, maybe, instead of chips, he really settled into the rhythm of the no-carb.

Now, he’ll eat just about anything. He’s always been open to different foods, from salad to fish, but he’s actually eating low-carb dessert made from ricotta cheese, a very little bit of the sweetener called Stevia, vanilla extract and a bit of peanut butter, and loving it.

He’s trying cheeses that don’t come wrapped in plastic and cut into thin slices. He’s actually looking forward to trying out different kids of meats, cooked in ways other than grill or fry.

I’m loving it, which means I don’t have to put up with nearly as much whining when it comes to dinner time. Of course, when I make something differently spiced or from a different meat than normal, I still have to put up with Hyper Lad moaning and complaining, but I’m finding that easier to ignore now that I’ve got the other two people in the house right now on my side.

Growing up is easier to see. A maturing set of taste buds isn’t nearly as easy to see, but it’s definitely more fun.

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Over There? No. Maybe Under The Couch. . .

by Richard

Just wondering where the time went.

There I was, up in the wilds of Northern Idaho with Sarcasmo and the lovely, soon-to-be-and-currently-one-year-older-than-spring-chicken-me She Who Must Be Whimsical To Be Catered To, making sure to post just about every day, when . . . boom.

Suddenly, here it is Wednesday and I’ve been missing for a day and a half.


Not much else I can say. Getting back into the swing of things at Wonderful Elementary School, getting back into the groove with some of the coolest kids I’ve ever met (plus some teachers), and making sure Hyper Lad and Buzz, The Garbage Disposal That Walks Like A Dog, are all right. . .

That seems to take up a bit of attention. If you know what I mean. And even if not. It still commands some attention.

Even more, Zippy the College Boy came home from University of North Carolina Wilmington last night, courtesy of the neighbors, and proceeded to bring havoc back with him. It seems we’d become used to the relative quiet.

Because when Zippy the College Boy came home, so too did the Posse, a group of three to four boys around Zippy the College Boy’s age, and so too did the chaos. In only a short few weeks, it seems as if I’d forgotten just how loud four to five mid-to-late teens can become.

Very, just in case you dudes were wondering.


So now I’m sitting in the relative quiet of the early morning. Zippy the College Boy is doing what college boys since time immemorial have done: sleeping. Hyper Lad and his semi-constant companion Tip are passed out in the Creature Cave, following a late-night sleepover full of killing and blood. (On a video game.) And She Who Must Be Off is away to work.

Things are — for now — quiet.

Which means it’s time to catch up.

Which means it’s time for me to be off. I’ve got people to do and things to see. And so I will.

And also will be back tomorrow, when we talk about giving thanks.

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