Tag Archives: Nate

Shoulder To Shoulder

by Richard

I don’t know the name of the movie, but that doesn’t really matter, because this thing is everywhere. I was watching some sort of generic action thriller movie and there was a gunfight. To show just how tough our hero was, he got shot and then kept fighting and won the fight. So where do you think our hero was shot? (No fair peeking at the title of this post.)

Yep. You guessed it. He was shot in the shoulder.

A little blood. A tight close-up on his face as he grimaced in pain, moving out a little to let us see our hero clutching his shoulder with his good hand. And then a snarl as he launched himself immediately back into the fray.

At which point I just turned the television off. Because, really? Enough is enough.

If our hero was really shot in the shoulder? Have an idea what he would really do? Scream, cry, whine, bleed a whole heck of a lot, scream some more, writhe around on the floor weeping in agony, call for a time out, beg for a doctor. Just about anything except clutch at his shoulder for a second, smile mirthlessly at the bad guy and then start beating people up, usually using both arms.

Nuh uh. Not gonna happen.

I know this for a fact. See, I went in for shoulder surgery. I was under general anesthesia. I had a catheter dripping a local anesthetic into my shoulder for two days after the operation. I had pain pills. I had a highly skilled (and I do mean highly skilled {Howdy, Dr. S. and thanks!]) doctor performing a minimally invasive surgical procedure. I had everything in my favor to make my shoulder surgery as low-pain as possible.

And here I am today, having just bumped that shoulder pretty hard into a wall (Buzz, the garbage disposal that walks like a dog, decided it would be a lot of fun to try and practice his ski slalom skills using my moving legs as flags), and I’m in agony. Five weeks after my surgery.

When a bullet enters your body, it’s traveling at a pretty fast clip. All that kinetic energy gets quickly transferred to your flesh, the hydrostatic shock (the power of speed converting to movement, thus causing hugely explosive ripples to expand outward from the bullet’s path) is what does most of the damage. It is rough. It is not something you just (you should pardon the expression, especially since I just got back my ability to do it) shrug off.

I know getting shot in the shoulder is action-movie shorthand for “our hero is in danger, he’s been hurt, but he’s strong enough to overcome any obstacle to continue fighting for (insert movie’s objective here). he’s tough and you should like him and want to be him.” I get that.

Doesn’t mean I have to like it, though.

Maybe we could pick another designated tough-guy-gets-shot-but-overcomes-pain-and-keeps-fighting spot? The ear? Or maybe a foot. Yeah, that would be good. We could see tough-guy action dude hopping and skipping around while they fight. That should be good for a laugh or two.

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A Dog And His Boy

by Richard

Here at stately Jones manor, it’s always the dog days.

That is, the dog keeps taking up a disproportionately large section of all our days. Not only does Buzz, the garbage disposal that walks like a dog, think he’s a fully fledged member of the family, outranking more than a few of the young dudes in the pecking order, he’s starting to see them as merely food delivery systems and a good place to rest once he’s finally devoured everything remotely edible and even slightly nailed down.

Yep, that’s Hyper Lad, down for the count after an exciting time running around and doing, well, whatever it is that tires out 11-year-old young dudes. He lay down for a quick breather and just sort of zonked. At which point, Buzz, the garbage disposal that walks like a dog, decided he needed a more comfortable pillow.

I just love the look we’re getting from the dog. Sort of a, “What? He’d do the same to me.” And he’s right.

Still, I always thought it was the other way around. Whatever works, I guess.

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Sunday Serenade: Marry Me

by Richard

Well, with Valentine’s Day right around the corner, I thought I’d share some romantic music with you dudes. Something for you to share with the sweetie.

Unfortunately, it looks like I won’t be doing that today. Instead, I’m featuring a fun song called “Marry Me” by an absolutely fabulous band called the Drive-By Truckers.

Just listen to that first line and you’ll see what I mean about this not being a romantic song. A good song, but, really, in no way romantic.

Still, give it a listen. I think you’ll enjoy it.

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