Tag Archives: Mentors

Yoga Dad Turns Cancer To A Positive

Yoga dad Dennis Ingui has a story to tell that all you dudes need to hear.

Now, I don’t normally turn over the precious white space here at A Dude’s Guide very often, much less three times in less than a week, but this is a special case. See, a friend of mine told me about Dennis and, once she did, I knew I’d have to have him share his story here with all of you. It’s a long story, so I’m going to have a jump that I want you to follow and I think you will.

This yoga dad is more than a health nut, more than a cancer survivor, more than a business man. Although he’d probably fight against anyone telling him this, he’s a bit of an inspiration. But let’s hear the story from Dennis’ mouth instead of mine.

Despite completely changing my life starting with a yoga practice at the age of 48, I wouldn’t call it a mid-life crisis.  

My mid-life turnaround was brought about after a stunning diagnosis of prostate cancer and surgery. What began as a journey of recovery and self-discovery has grown into a new business venture, mentorship for other budding entrepreneurs and a path toward philanthropy, touching the lives of children and adults across the globe.

Born and raised in the Bronx, I’ve always been athletic and physically fit. Which meant I was thrown completely off guard after a cautionary check up with my urologist showed a slightly rising PSA test. I will never forget the moment I received a call from the doctor on my way to the airport for a business trip. Immediately, I turned the car around and my wife and I went straight to the doctor. Within a few weeks, I was scheduled for surgery.

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Give A Little

Well, Mother’s Day is over, but you’re still not done giving gifts. Trust me on this one. There is one gift that you need to give your wife, the mother of your children, right now. Give her the gift of time.

In most traditional households, it’s the dude who goes out of the house and does the work. Now, in these recent economic times, the wife — more than likely — also goes out and works to bring home the bacon. However, it’s also the wife who usually does most of the care and feeding of the little dudes and dudettes.

There’s the household cleaning. Cooking nutritious meals that kids and adults will actually like. Grocery shopping. Ferrying little dudes to and from soccer practice or gymnastics. Organizing sleep overs. Helping on school projects. Finishing up on work she neglected during the day so she could get home to see the little ones. All these things bite deeply into time that could be, and should be, spent at least partly on herself.

My wife, known to many as She Who’s The Best Ob/Gyn Around, sees this sort of thing almost every day in her practice. It’s one reason she helped start an organization known as Tri It For Life. She’s a triathlete, which means she’s uncommonly obsessed with swiming, cycling and running. As a doctor, she’s pretty sure it’s not only good for her body, but good for her mind and disposition as well. She also thought it would be good for other women to do. With that in mind, she started recruiting other female triathletes to go out and find women who wanted to do more than just daily chores and work, and who would be willing to spend a little time on themselves.

In the last three years, the Tri It For Life group has run more than 300 women through its training program, getting them ready for and helping them participate in a women’s only triathlon here in Charlotte, the Ramblin’ Rose. Many of these first-time triathletes have gone on to become mentors to other newcomers. They’ve taken the time they need for themselves and are all the better for it.

Now, I’m not saying that this is the only thing suitable as a gift of time for your wife, but it’s a really good idea. Driving to and from work shouldn’t be the only time a person has to themselves. Even if it is the only time you get to control the radio and listen to some decent music.

Taking time for yourself, even if it is just a few minutes here and there, is important to your mental and physical health. Give your wife the gift of time. She’ll be happier and, as you know, if momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.

— Richard

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