Tag Archives: Men And Women

Unplugging Because. . .

Technology, like sex, has a love/scare relationship with most Americans.

Until relatively recently, sex has been something that you just did not speak about in anything remotely resembling polite company. Not only did Lucy and Ricky sleep in separate beds with a nightstand between them, but most of George Carlin’s seven words you can’t say on television have to do with sex.

The flip side to that, however, is that while sex might not have been a public subject, it was the thing most on the minds of American men and women. Porn thrived, especially with the arrival of the internet and the ability of people to buy it anonymously. You couldn’t talk about it, but it was used to sell everything from cars and toothpaste to fridges and massagers.*

Things haven’t changed all that much, but it has become a bit less of a taboo in public discussion. Or at least, my wife, known to one and all as She Who Must Be Talking About Sex, and her friends seem to have no trouble talking about this kind of thing anywhere and everywhere.

I’m thinking technology is beginning to occupy a similar place in the American psyche. Not so much its existence, but, rather its use.What's the point of things like the National Day of Unplugging? Are we that scared of what the internet, in particular, and technology, in general, can offer to us?

More and more people are joining movements like the National Day of Unplugging, which was held early last month. The point of it was to abjure technology from sundown March 7 to sundown March 8. Ironically, folks who participated took photos of themselves and posted them on the National Day of Unplugging website to talk about “I unplug to. . . ”

I’m assuming ironic-deafness is a prerequisite to becoming a Luddite.

This whole thing reminds me of people who used to say, “I never watch television, except maybe a few hours of Masterpiece Theater on PBS.” Mostly folks said that to make it look like they were too smart, too sophisticated to debase their minds with the common drivel the rest of us enjoyed.

I suspect these folks are probably the same ones who won’t use an e-reader because they only read “real” books.

So, really, what’s the point? It’s not like any of these people are going to unplug for the rest of their lives. It seems to me that the whole point of this unplugging is to plug back in and then broadcast to one and all how virtuous you were because you put down your smartphone for a while.

It might have something to do with the fact that people don’t trust themselves very much. They use programs that block the internet or blank their web browsers so they won’t fool around when they should be working. They keep checking their messages and e-mail during meals with other people.

Even if you have always-on connection, that doesn’t mean you have to use it, yeah?

Mostly, I think the attraction of these sorts of things lies in the fact that, for most people, the idea of change is scary. And technology is all about change, about doing things differently, more efficiently, on a wider scale than before, seeing new things in your lives that had always been there, but were never noticed.

Dudes and dudettes get caught up in the world and begin racing toward the future with eyes open, but stop every once in a while, stumble, and realize just how much change we’ve been through and still face.

The strong smile, assess and continue. The weak unplug.

Share on Facebook

Things To Do In Charlotte: Sex & Sensability

If you’re the type of dude who never tires of learning more about sex, have I got an event for you.

Sponsored by Mintview OB/GYN, Sex & Sensability is an outstanding event designed to demystify sex by providing you with the tips and tools you need become creative, loving and successful in bed.

Or the kitchen. Or the mud room. Or wherever. That’s part of the point.

The event is going to take place on March 27, from 6-9 pm in the Visulite Theater, 1615 Elizabeth Ave., Charlotte. Tickets are only $10 per person and, brother, that is money well spent. Not only do you get a dynamite presentation and Q&A session, but you also score some appetizers and a goodie bag.

I’ll let you dudes in on a little secret. See, I happen to know one of the presenters pretty well.

Okay, slightly more than pretty well. I’ve been sleeping with her for the past two decades. Yes, it’s my wife, known to others as She Who Must Be Listened To.

I worked with her to prepare the slideshow/presentation that forms one of the spines of this spine-tingling evening and I can tell you from experience: This is a talk, a presentation that you want to attend.

Don’t be afraid to be a man at a talk presented by an OB/GYN office. This presentation is for both men and women, even if it’s slightly more weighted to the distaff side of the aisle. Which makes it even better for you to be there.

It’s only a couple of hours, but it could change how you approach sex for the rest of your life.

A tremendous lecture and Q&A session about increasing your happiness in your sex life.

Share on Facebook

What Bugs You About Men? What Bugs You About Women?

What bugs you about the opposite gender?

I know I’m setting myself up for a real horribly bad time here, but it’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while.

See, I’m considering a follow up to that wonderful, funny how-to book for new dads, A Dude’s Guide to Babies: The New Dad’s Playbook, and one of the things I’m considering is a treatise that explains men to women. And also explains women to men.

Don’t worry (not that any of you really were worried, I’m sure). I’ve got the whole thing figured out on how I can cram two so disparate things into the same book. Trust me, on this one. It’s going to be a tremendously fun book.

If I can sell it. And, to do that, I need your help.

Speaking in general, what is it that bugs you about the opposite gender?

Now, I’m not talking about, say, the way the second toe on Harold’s right foot is longer than his big toe. However, if you say something like it bugs you that men are always clipping their toenails and leaving the leavings around on the floor, then that’s good.

I’m really looking for examples of broad categories, but I’m open to hearing just about any ideas you’ve got.

Although it’s probably well-trodden ground at this point, I’m considering a bit about how men and women use verbal communication in completely different ways. That is, we use the same words, but they mean something completely different.

No, not an astonishingly original observation, but, as I said, I think I’ve got a new way to look at this that could prove funny. Does it surprise you that I’m going for the funny?

If you want, and, again, if I sell the idea, I’d be happy to use your name or as much of your name as you want used in the book as a source. You can even ask me to change the name to protect the ones who say they are innocent, but aren’t really, which you know because they asked to have their names changed.

If you’re interested in helping out, you can leave messages here in the comments, on our Facebook page, DM me on Twitter at @DudesGuide or use hashtags like #BugMen #BugWomen #BugDude. I’ll be checking any and all of them.

Or you could just send me an e-mail and I’ll happily read and answer whatever I get.

Thanks so much for any help you can give me. Even if you don’t have anything for me right now, think about it and try to get it to me later.

Consider getting in touch. I know there’s something that bugs you about the opposite gender, something that — from your gender’s perspective — makes absolutely no sense.

Let me hear about it, yeah?

Share on Facebook