Tag Archives: Maturity

Consider A Medication Vacation For Your Child

Summer’s here and the time is right for taking a vacation.

Whether it be a (and I can’t believe I’m about to use this word) stay cation at home or a vacation somewhere less-than exotic, most of us look forward to a few days off work so we can relax and enjoy ourselves.

But what about your ADHD child? Most school-age ADHD children take some form of medication to help them alleviate the symptoms of distraction or hyperactivity. These medications allow those taking them to sit still and think straight for long enough that they can actually learn something  in the classroom and during homework.

ADHD medication, whether it be stimulant-based or otherwise, is designed to do one thing: alter behavior. The medication is supposed to allow the child to behave in a more situationally correct manner and it achieves this by suppressing natural behaviors.

Taken out of context, that probably sounds like a horrible idea. It’s only when we begin considering that the natural behaviors are counter productive and disruptive both socially and academically that we understand changing the natural order is, in this case, a good thing.

However, change does not come without a cost. Consider the child who doesn’t take her medication one morning. More often than not, she will come home from school in a foul mood, cross and angry with the world. This is because her brain no longer has its expected pharmaceutical buffer supporting her cognitive processes.

It’s jagged and jarring and can make life difficult for both the ADHD child and anyone around him.

And yet, here I am suggesting that you might want to consider taking your child off her medications during the summer. While I might still be considered an idiot by some, I’m on the right track with this idea.

I will say, as a sort of fair warning, the pediatrician our young dudes still see does not believe in medication vacation for summer as a matter of course. However, there are certain circumstances under which she will give her go ahead.

You might consider a medication vacation as a way of assessing whether your child can do without medication for good. Because children are growing, the effect medication has on them will change over time. It could be that your child would do better on a different medication or no medication at all.

The only way to figure that out is to stop the current medication. ADHD isn’t something you age out of. However, some folks with the disorder can find ways to circumvent the disorder so they won’t need the medication.

A lot of that has to do with maturity. When younger, most kids don’t have the mental discipline necessary to do what needs to be done to help them overcome the hardships imposed by ADHD.

You might also want to consider a medication vacation if your child has been suffering from side effects, such as a loss of appetite. Within days, you’ll discover that most kids will begin eating more once they no longer are taking their medication. This could help them catch up on their necessary weight gain.

If you do give your little dudette a medication vacation, understand that it’s not on a whim. It’s a good idea to assess the success or failure of the vacation as summer winds to a close.

It could be that impulse-control issues without medication made it a difficult time. Or you might notice that your child is exhibiting more defiance when off the medications. Regardless, it’s a good idea to sit down with your child, your partner and the child’s doctor to discuss what you learned during the vacation.

This information can be invaluable as you begin to plan for the school year ahead.

The main thing I want you dudes to take away from this is that you should never stand pat when it comes to your child’s health and welfare. They’re growing and changing all the time, which means your approach must be constantly evaluated to see if it can be changed or should stay the same.

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Dating Like A Teenager

by Richard

I’ve got a theory about dating. Yeah, dudes, I know. I haven’t been dating for more than two decades, but that doesn’t mean I can’t think about it.*

This all came out of a discussion with Pitt and Mike, a couple of friends of mine who are a) on the way to getting divorced and b) long divorced. Both men are back in the dating pool and have joined several meet-up groups. The problem is they keep meeting up with women who — to the perception of Pitt and Mike (and me as well, when I get the skinny on the dates) — keep acting like they were in high school.

These ladies will tell someone else to tell someone else that they like a certain someone. Even in this age and day of enlightenment and equality, Pitt said, one lady told him (paraphrasing closely), “If I do on a date, there’s no way I’m paying a dime. That’s the guy’s job.” And this was a woman with a good job who was doing well.

It’s a lot of back and forth with a lot of the behavior trending toward immaturity. That’s when I had a flash of insight. What I think happens to people who get married is that their dating styles and expectations freeze where they were when the stopped dating.

Their dating acumen ends as soon as they get married. Sure, they might go on dates with their spouses, but it’s not the same as meeting a stranger, feeling them out (not up) and then deciding if you want to spend time with them. So their dating acumen is stuck at wherever it was when they got married.

If they married in college, they (and I’m talking dudes and dudettes here) will tend to see dating through the lens of a college student. What was acceptable then is so now. What didn’t pass muster then, doesn’t do it today.

I really think this is what’s going on. And not just with the ladies Pitt and Mike are dating, either. Although I didn’t mention that to them when we were talking. (Here’s hoping they don’t read the blog.) I get the feeling this is a cross-gender issue.

Of course, having identified the problem, I’m not sure there is anything that can be done about it. Unless, you, the dude or dudette reading this is, in fact, one of those who married young and is recently divorced. Then you could take a look at your own behavior and see what you can do to drag your dating self up to your actual age.

Or, if you’re going out with someone like this, just realize what’s going on and make allowances.

I’m just glad I’m not out there having to start dating all over again. I’m not sure if my body could hold up to an endless round of keggers and pizza. Still, that’s what you’re supposed to do on a date, right?

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It’s Not Superstition When I Do It

by Richard

I didn’t wash my socks this week. Okay, that doesn’t sound all that momentous to most people, but it’s a big deal for me because the socks I didn’t wash were my University of Florida Gator socks. They’re special socks that I only wear during Gator football games because they’re good luck.

That’s not superstition. That’s just fact.

They’re getting older and they’ve got some holes worn in the heels, but still I wear them and wash them every week. They work. No. That’s not superstition. It’s empirical evidence.

It’s like the dude who wore a pink tutu every day to work. His partner asked him why he was wearing at tutu when he’s working in Uptown Charlotte and the guy says, “This tutu is guaranteed to make sure I don’t get eaten by tigers.”

“But,” his partner says, “there are no tigers in Charlotte.”

“See,” the guy says. “It works.”

All right, I know it’s ridiculous, but still it works for me.

Right up until this week. For some reason, I didn’t put my socks in the correct laundry pile, which meant they didn’t get washed. Which meant I didn’t get to wear them for the week. (Hey, I might be a bit of a slob, but even I don’t wear dirty socks.) And, you know what? It was okay.

I feel like the Sports Grinch on Christmas morning. My maturity grew three sizes that day. Now I figure I’m about on the level of Hyper Lad. Hey, he’s very mature for an 11-year-old.

Now it’s all well and good that I took a step into the adult world this week, but don’t think I’m going to get carried away. I’ve still got my good-luck shirt, underwear and shoes. I mean, I’m not crazy.

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