All right, dudes, listen up. Most of the recipes that I’ve talked about here on the Dude’s Guide are meant for dinner and meant to impress a certain ladylike someone. And also to feed us, of course.

This time, I wanted to go over a little lunch you’re going to love. It’s a recipe of my [...]]]> by Richard

All right, dudes, listen up. Most of the recipes that I’ve talked about here on the Dude’s Guide are meant for dinner and meant to impress a certain ladylike someone. And also to feed us, of course.

This time, I wanted to go over a little lunch you’re going to love. It’s a recipe of my own devising and, if I do say so myself (and I do), it’s great. It’s called Salsa Chicken Salad.

Here’s what you’ll need.

1 rotisserie chicken, which you can get from most any grocery store
1 container of fresh salsa, usually found in the salad section of the grocery store
1 can black beans, drained and rinsed
1 small can of corn, drained and rinsed
1 avocado

Get some wetnaps ready because you’re going to get dirty. Set out the rotisserie chicken next to a large bowl. Then start ripping the chicken apart, stripping the meat off the bones. Make sure to break up the pieces of meat into much smaller pieces. Put the chicken in the large bowl.

Add in the fresh salsa and then mix well.

Open, rinse and drain the black beans and corn. When they’re dry(ish), dump them into the large bowl with the chicken mixture and mix well.

Now, if you’re going to eat this right away, then you should cut up the avocado into small bite-sized chunks and mix it into the bowl. However, if you’re going to wait a while, then you should wait until right before you serve before putting the avocado in. You don’t want those luscious, green chunks going brown on you.

And that’s it.

Normally, fresh salsa isn’t that hot, so you might want to add a little hot-sauce-based heat to the mix, but that’s up to you.

Enjoy!

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A couple of weeks ago, the Southerners here in Charlotte, NC, got a little taste of the Great White North. Well, they got about two inches of ice/snow/sleet and suchlike. Nothing really, as far as most Northern cities are concerned, but plenty enough to cancel most everything here on the border of the deep South.

The [...]]]> by Richard

A couple of weeks ago, the Southerners here in Charlotte, NC, got a little taste of the Great White North. Well, they got about two inches of ice/snow/sleet and suchlike. Nothing really, as far as most Northern cities are concerned, but plenty enough to cancel most everything here on the border of the deep South.

The snow came down Friday night and Saturday morning. By Saturday afternoon, the snow had melted and refrozen into a very slick sheet of ice covering just about everything. All of which made for some really fantastic sledding. The ice was so slick we could sled on most anything, from a wooden sled with metal blades to a plastic sled that only barely moves in pure snow.

Even better, the whole family was able to get out there and play in the snow and the cold and laugh our fool heads off while we roared down the street hill just outside our little cul de sac.

On Sunday, we were still able to get in a few hours of sledding in the morning before the bright, bright sun started to melt too much of the slick stuff. We were all set for school the next day when we were notified it was cancelled. Too worried about buses roaring through the pre-dawn night, hitting an ice patch and sliding into something hard and immovable. Reasonable enough. And the little dudes were thrilled to have a day off.

What they never think of, though, is that for every day off, they have to have a day that was off back on. That is, for the Monday off at the beginning of February, they had to pay the day off for President’s Day by going to school then. Enh. They really didn’t care all that much. But I have a feeling that, come Monday, they’re going to have a lot of care about this.

Still, it’s a good lesson: TANSTAAFL, as the master said. There ain’t no such thing as a free lunch. What you get, you have to pay for. Sort of elementary, but it’s something that has to be pounded in again and again or it doesn’t stick.

Me, I’ll gladly trade a day in the snow and the ice with my little dudes and their mom for a day off when they just sit around and do nothing. I know I’ll remember this snow day much longer than a regular day off. And, really, isn’t it all about me? Well, since you ask, yes. Yes it is.

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Now, it’s a well-known fact that little dudes don’t have well-developed frontal lobes and, thus, tend to make really bad decisions. However, I didn’t know the undeveloped frontal lobes of elementary school little dudes and dudettes were actively anti-survival. Until Friday, that is.

I do a lot of volunteer work at Speed Racer’s elementary school. And [...]]]> by Richard

Now, it’s a well-known fact that little dudes don’t have well-developed frontal lobes and, thus, tend to make really bad decisions. However, I didn’t know the undeveloped frontal lobes of elementary school little dudes and dudettes were actively anti-survival. Until Friday, that is.

I do a lot of volunteer work at Speed Racer’s elementary school. And one of the things I do is chaperone the fifth-grade courtyard reward lunch. Basically that means I have to make sure little dudes and dudettes don’t destroy anything. See, if they go the entire week without getting disciplined by any teacher, they get rewarded by being allowed to eat lunch in an outdoor courtyard with picnic tables and suchlike. They’re able to talk as much as they want and move around and talk. So, yeah, they like to talk.

On normal days I and my fellow chaperones will usually get about forty or so kids out there enjoying their reward. And then came Friday.

As was the case in a lot of places around the good ol’ US of A, it was cold here in Charlotte. Very, very cold. I’m talking not over freezing for the entire day. And for here, dude, that’s extremely cold.

I was pretty sure the courtyard lunch would be cancelled because it was too cold. I showed up at the school anyway, figuring I’d better make sure I was right. When I got there, I was greeted by Speed Racer, four other little dudes and two little dudettes, one of whom was wearing only a shirt. I stared at her in amazement.

“If I get cold, I’ll just get my coat out of the classroom.”

IF? It was 26 degrees out there and she used if?

I asked the little dudes if they were all nuts. They just laughed. So I went along with it, leading the idiots kids out into the barren, frozen wasteland. I immediately headed toward the small sliver of weak sunlight making its way into the enclosed courtyard. I urged the little dudes and dudettes to do the same. Again, they laughed.

For about three minutes. Then the cold really hit. The one little dudette went for her coat and then came back and started eating her lunch.

Which contained an ice cream sandwich. On a day that it was below freezing.

And then came the kid wearing shorts and a hoodie. I just gave up, basically.

I pulled my parka’s hood more tightly over my head, huddled closer to the tiny bit of sunshine I could get and laughed quietly to myself. I just had to hope they’d survive long enough for their frontal lobes — or their ability feel cold and recognize what it means — could kick in.

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