Tag Archives: Knees

Summer Safety Begins Here

Take it slow, dudes. Take it slow.

Really that’s the best advice I’ve got for you right now. And it all has to do with summer being so very close to us here in the United States.

Sure it’s still early May and, for most of us, it’s still relatively cool, not yet kicking up the sweat-soaked, walking in a warm pool of wet air feeling of summer, but that weather is coming. And we’re getting the first breakthrough bits of it right here and right now.

To get ready, you’re going to have to take it easy.

By that, I mean you’re going to need to move slowly as you reacquire habits that, at the end of summer last year, were second nature and very, very easy.

For instance, by the end of last summer, I surely remembered every day to wear a hat when I went out of the house. Not to keep off the rain, but to keep off the sun. Being bald, I have no hair to shade my poor, helpless scalp. If I didn’t wear a hat, I’d get sunburned badly. Again.

Sure I remembered at the end of summer, but at the start? Not a chance. I remember one summer, probably in late April, I went to one of Sarcasmo’s soccer games outside. It wasn’t that warm. I didn’t wear a hat. I got so sunburned, I couldn’t sleep on a pillow that night. I felt like I was burning up. And then, after the pain finally went away, the itching began. Horrible.

All because I hadn’t yet returned to the habit of wearing a hat outdoors.

It’s the same thing with, for instance, shorts. By the time summer took its leave last year, you were used to wearing shorts outside, had a sufficient tan that you didn’t need to slather on the sunblock every single time you went outside for more than 10 minutes?

Now, though? With those pasty white legs? Even that darker skin isn’t going to protect you as good as it did after a summer’s worth of sun. Start slow. Put on a lot of sunscreen when you wear shorts. Make sure to put it on the back of your knees, work it up under the end of the shorts so you don’t expose untreated skin when you sit down. Wear sunscreen on your arms, on your face and head.

Nobody wants skin cancer, but getting a sunburn a couple of times a year is a good way to get a nice crop of cancers started. It’s not a good thing, dudes. To avoid a lot of the risk, just be covered — either in sunscreen or UVA-blocking clothing.

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First-World Problems

by Richard

I’m going to call what I just went through for the last couple of weeks a major first-world problem. All right with you dudes? Sure it is. You know what I’m talking about.

For those of you who don’t, a first-world problem is something that’s really — in the grand scheme of things — only something to worry about because we’ve got so much else buffering us from the harsh realities of life that so many other people have to struggle with every day just to survive. For instance, having your favorite nail polish stop making the color you’ve been using for the last year or so and it was just the right color and now you don’t have anything to match it. Or, the hi-def channels aren’t working and you’ve already got all the beer cooled and the snack foods left out and all the dudes over and the game’s about to start.

These things are annoying, sure. But they’re not something we should be making a big deal over.

Neither, of course, is not having access to your own personal washing machine for more than two weeks. But I still just about had a hissy fit until we got it back, let me tell you.

The washing machine started to go bad a couple of days before the apocalyptic ending in which it spun and shook and spun and shook and made more noise than the last Kiss concert. Although, to be fair, it was slightly more rhythmic. It was toast.

So I called the Sears repairfolk and they sent someone over. He looked it over and said, “Hmmmm.” Then he printed out a receipt, said he had to order some parts and would be back in a week. Before the week was up, I got another call that the parts were backordered and it would be a while longer.

Finally, this week, it got fixed. I just about fell to my knees in thanks.

I’d been having to make these long trips to the local coin laundry, lugging heavy suitcases of clothing along with soap and fabric softener and lots and lots of quarters. Sure it was fun, in that I got to sit there and watch some TV talk to the other folks haunting the waiting area until we heard our ding and all that. The thing is, though, it made it so I couldn’t do anything else but wash. Stuff got put off. Which meant I put off doing the laundry. Until it was a huge mess. Which made it more difficult to do. Which meant I put it off. . .

You get the point. Definitely a first-world problem. At least I had clean clothing, and a place to wash them that wasn’t filled with swimming, eating and pooping fishy creatures. And nothing wanted to eat me while at the watering hole.

Yes, I’m probably spoiled. Just like you dudes, but I gotta tell you, I like it. I like being able to do laundry any time and however much I want.

Thank you Sears repairfolk for finally getting the job done. Now, if you’ll excuse me I have to do go some laundry.

And, of course, I’ve run out of the liquid soap so I’ll have to use that dry powder and it’s all messy and I’ll have to have one of the young dudes vacuum it up. Ugh. It’s just going to be terrible.

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Groundhog Day. Again.

by Richard

That’s right, dudes and dudettes, today’s the day when we get down on our knees and worship a rat, when we ascribe to a sub-sentient furry rodent prognosticative powers beyond that of mortal man. It’s Groundhog Day.

I’m not going to bore you with any information about the first Groundhog Day or why we think a groundhog’s shadow can actually foretell the end of winter. Because that’s just silly.

Nope, I’m here to remind you of one of the greatest movies of all time. The title? Groundhog Day. All right, fine. Not the most imaginative title, but you have to admit it’s one heck of a movie.

Starring Bill Murray and Andie McDowell, this smart, randy, uproarious comedy is that rare film that makes you laugh (a lot) and also makes you sniffle back a tear or two. This is the good stuff, people. And to remind you of what a great movie it really is, I’m going to run the original theatric trailer for you.

When that’s over, you can head over to Netflix and order that movie so you can watch it in a couple of days. It’s really worth the wait. But, for now, here’s the trailer.


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