The Christmas holidays are, by their very nature, just begging to sneak up behind you and whack you in the head with the heavy stick. (As opposed to the ugly stick. We’re going to assume that happened a long time ago. Not to you, though. That other guy. Over there. See?) I mean, look at [...]]]> by Richard

The Christmas holidays are, by their very nature, just begging to sneak up behind you and whack you in the head with the heavy stick. (As opposed to the ugly stick. We’re going to assume that happened a long time ago. Not to you, though. That other guy. Over there. See?) I mean, look at the holiday’s main icon, Santa Claus. A jolly fat man, amirite? Of course I am.

This then is Christmas stress busting tip number three. Don’t pig out over the holidays. I know it’s traditional to eat like you’re going to the gallows tomorrow during Thanksgiving and Christmas, but that sort of thing really ain’t good for you.

You start packing on the pounds, noticing a little (more?) flab around the middle and you start getting worried about what you’re going to have to do to lose it all again. I know people who start stressing over how they’re going to fit in more gym time during the new year when they’re already so busy with work and the kids and the family. It’s going to be next to impossible, but. . . Maybe if they get up at 4 a.m. each morning, they can slip down to the gym, work out and then get back to the house for breakfast or, better yet, get into the office early and get more work done.

I don’t know about you dudes, but to me that sounds like a recipe for stress. Unrelenting, self-imposed stress.

And it’s all (or relatively most of it) avoidable.

Instead of filling your plate with sugary sweet goodness, just take enough to give yourself a nice taste. Instead of making huge portions of each part of the meal, again just sample. You’ll still get full and you’ll still have all those great flavors. It’s just that you’ll be able to walk after the dinner instead of roll. Always a good thing.

And speaking of Christmas dinner and the like, there’s nothing that says it has to be an elaborate retake of Thanksgiving. Heck, last year we had lasagna, made from homemade sauce. The homemade sauce does take a while, but we made it far in advance.

What I’m trying to say is that eating during Christmas doesn’t have to be an ordeal. There are many ways to do it. Why not choose the way that doesn’t require you to almost work yourself to death to accomplish it?

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Which might go a long way toward explaining why it’s on the list of top holidays [...]]]> I’m not just talking about a seminal punk-ish band. No, I’m using that as a pun so I can talk about blowin’ stuff up. What can I say? I’m a dude. We like to blow stuff up. It’s in our genes.

Which might go a long way toward explaining why it’s on the list of top holidays for my three little dudes. Just yesterday, Speed Racer was perusing the newspaper (searching for the comics. I can’t get him interested in the actual news of a newspaper. Yet.) when he ran across a story about fireworks being sold and sold a lot. He was, to say the least, a bit excited.

“Can we go there? To this place? They’ve got two for one. We can get a lot of fireworks. Can we go today? Right now?”

I had to calm him down a little. For one thing, it’s difficult to talk to someone when they’re clawing into the ceiling and running about like a hyperactive spider. For another, I knew I’d have to wait for his brother, Sarcasmo, to get home from his leadership camp. It would not be good if we were to go buy fireworks and leave Sarcasmo behind. I’d never hear the end of it.

Still, this is an event to which we all look forward. Me because it’s fun to watch all three little dudes pick out stuff to blow up. Them because, well, they’re picking out stuff to blow up.

Our favorites are mortars. Just because we love the thump as they launch and they really do look fantastic when they explode all the way up there in the air.

– Richard

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St. Patrick’s Day is one of those holidays that, when it rolls around, reminds me how much I’ve changed over these long, long years. I [...]]]> Happy St. Patrick’s Day, everyone. I hope you’re wearing green, because if not, I’ll be over there to pinch you right quick. Or maybe not. You’ll just have to wait and see.

St. Patrick’s Day is one of those holidays that, when it rolls around, reminds me how much I’ve changed over these long, long years. I remember, vaguely, very, very vaguely, in college how we’d skip out on as many classes as possible and then go hit whatever bar was selling cheap green beer. The intentionally green kind, that is. I mean, we could always find unintentionally green beer just about any day of the week just by looking behind the fridge or under the couch cushions. Yeah, you might say the University of Florida was a bit of a party school. Anyway, we’d end up sitting outside of some sort of bar, watching the poor saps who had to work go struggling by on the sidewalk and toasting them with the green beer. That never stopped being funny. And it got funnier as the day wore on.

Then, of course, I graduated, got a job, got married and had kids. All of which tended to put a bit of a crimp in the whole sitting in a bar and drinking all day thing. Gradually, I’ve moved from that sort of traditional excess to occasionally quaffing a Guiness to saying, “Oh, was yesterday St. Patrick’s Day?” to making sure my little dudes wear green so I don’t have to pinch them all day.

In fact, that’s the sort of fun we have now. The St. Paddy’s day celebrations in our house now consist of green waffles and green clothing. Makes for a much calmer and less memorable (although we’re more able to remember, if you notice the difference) holidays, but still a lot of fun.

So, however you plan to celebrate, go out and enjoy. Take the time to smell the green carnations.

– Richard

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