Tag Archives: Guess

I, For One, Welcome Our New. . .

by Richard

So, yeah. That was the election, dudes.

Still can’t believe he won. I mean. . . Really. Right?

Sure it was a close race, well-fought in places, but still pretty nasty there at the end. One side was, of course, a much cleaner and running a better race overall. So I’m glad that side one. Yep. Sure am.


Uh huh.


So. Election?

Is it getting obvious that I’m writing this the night of the election and I have no idea who actually won the thing? I mean, sure, I could wait for the returns to come in, but I’m not allowed to read anything about politics and I can’t stand watching television news because all any of those things do is just make me mad.

And not in the good way, either. (For more on that, come back tomorrow for a great post about anger and optimism.)

Still, I did go out and vote, as did the Imperative. (More on that over the weekend.)

And, in addition, so did Zippy the College Boy. Down in Wilmington, NC, Zippy the College Boy is now living away from home so his voting precinct changed away from Charlotte.

Earlier this week, I got a call from the boy.

“Dad! Dad! Guess what?”

“What?” I asked.

“I did it!,” said Zippy the College Boy. “I finally did it. I finally got a chance to vote. . . ”

I was, to say the least, thrilled. Zippy the College Boy, being the still hormonally accelerated barely post-adolescent male that he is, tends to take his politics and his sports rather seriously and will vociferously defend his point of view against all comers. So he’s been looking forward to being an actual voting-age (ha ha ha ha) adult for a while now.

He went ahead and looked at a sample ballot, figured out who he wanted to vote for in his local races and the national races, and then marched into the voting booth. He went in a boy. He came out a boy. Who had voted.

If only there were more people in this country who had his drive and enthusiasm for voting. I’m glad I was able to pass that along, at least.

So. Here’s hoping your candidate won. Unless your candidate isn’t my candidate. In that case, I’m glad your guy lost. Because my guy won. Neener neener. Of course, if your guy won, then I hope you’ll be a gracious winner.

That seems fair, yeah?

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You Mind If We Dance With Your. . . Daughter?

by Richard

What can I say? I watched Animal House just before sitting down to write this and the scene on the road trip when they’re in the bar watching Otis Day and the Knights still hits me right between the funny eyes.


What I was thinking the other day was that I am relatively lucky. Mostly I was thinking this because I realized something: I have no idea how I’d react if someone came to the house and wanted to pick up my daughter for a date.

Any potential daughters I didn’t have should be thankful they went to other people instead. I have a feeling they would not have wanted to bring any potential dates home to meet me.

I mean, I just don’t know how to handle that sort of thing. Because, see, I remember being a young dude in high school and the only thing that mattered to me when I was near a girl, or thinking about a girl, or hadn’t been around a girl for a while but the wind changed, was, well, something of a rather sexual nature.

Let’s face it, that’s pretty much all teenage boys think about. Well, for the 90 percent and I’m pretty sure we can guess what the 10 percent are thinking about.

And this young dude wants to take my daughter out?

Yeah, no.

See what I mean? I’m a rather progressive person, who believes in talking freely about things that matter and have a mind so wide open it’s possible stuff might be rolling off the sides. And all I’m considering when thinking about a young dude going out with my not-even-real daughter is that I would probably start hurting him just on general principles.

Especially if how I treated my sister’s dates was any indication of how I’d treat suitors for my daughter’s hand. I mean, my sister, Tia, would practically sprint out the door, grabbing her date’s arms as she raced past, just to get them away from me and my incessant questions.

So, yeah.

Just glad I don’t have a daughter to worry about.

Right, Barry? (who has two)

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by Richard

Hey, guess what? Today is the second day of summer.

Despite the fact that temperatures have been hovering in the mid- to high 90s (F, not C) for the past month or so, it’s only just now (well, yesterday) that we can say it’s official.

I count myself very lucky to actually be on vacation, actually on a beach, here in the first few days of summer. These are the days when, as a young dude myself, I used to just take a few minutes and plan out exactly the sort of fun I was going to have all summer long.

Because, let’s face it, when you’re a young enough dude, summer lasts forever. I never thought about summer’s end. As soon as school let out, it was time for the eternal now. The days were long. The nights were warm and it was time to get out there and start sweating up a good time.

That starts to change, though, as we age. Getting jobs where you don’t actually get to have a couple of months off during the summer to recharge and enjoy yourself. Yeah, those job things certainly do take something away from enjoying summer. Not much fun to head out into the blazing heat, 90 degrees and 90 percent humidity, wearing a tie, jacket, button-down shirt and a deeply held hope that your deodorant actually will hold out long enough.


This summer, though, I’m actually on the beach, enjoying the waves and being extremely glad there’s actual effective sunblock you can wear outside and not worry about turning into a scalded, super-sensitive red beast of a dude. Believe me, in my youth, many were the days I would overstay my welcome in the sun and have to limp around the house, my skin feeling stretched taut enough to break with a wrong move.

Even if you’re working today or tomorrow, think about Rule No. 32. Enjoy the little things. Get home. Get out of the work clothes and into something relaxing. Head outside. Even if it’s only for a few minutes. Run your toes through the grass. Let nature fill you up.

It’s summer, dudes. Take advantage while you can.

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