Tag Archives: girl

Sunday Serenade: My Boyfriend’s Back

Well, not my boyfriend, understand.

Just, you know, in general.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Look, we’ve just escaped from Valentine’s Day (well, most of you, I guess. Lucky dudes.) and I thought I’d celebrate with the original song that tells the story of a woman, unfairly spurned, who takes her revenge by sicing a bigger kid on a smaller kid and saying kill.

“My boyfriend’s back and he’s gonna save my reputation.”

Yeah, because nothing says that your girl is pure, chaste and true than whipping ass on some random dude.

Man, the 50’s were a strange place. Am I right?

Anyway, it’s a short song by The Angels.


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No, this isn’t a lost Halloween post, dudes.

I’m wishing happy birthday to the only niece who was a baby when I first met her.

And issuing a warning. If you live in the Jacksonville area, be very, very careful while driving for the next couple of months. Yes, Boo is turning 16 today and will be allowed by Duval County, the city of Jacksonville, the state of Florida and these United States of America to drive — by herself — whenever she wants to do so.

Okay, standard make-fun of new drivers is over now.

In all seriousness, I’m certain that Boo is going to be a fantastic driver. After all, she’s pretty much fantastic in everything else, so why should driving be any different?

Her name isn’t really Boo, of course. But it’s short for Sweetie Boo, which I started calling her just to annoy her mom, my sister, Tia. The name sort of stuck and I eventually shortened it to Boo.

Once Monsters, Inc. came out and there was a cute, little girl named Boo in it. . . Well, there’s no way I couldn’t not call her Boo after that.

It’s honestly been a tremendous joy to watch her grow up. From the very start, I tried to make sure that I never complimented her on only how she looks or what she was wearing that day.

For me, the first thing I told her was that she was going to be a genius when she grew up. And, what do you know, she’s almost there right now.

Not only is Boo destined to play Division 1 volleyball for some very, very lucky university in a couple of years (she’s already getting scouted and she’s only a sophomore), but she’s taking AP courses, honors courses, you name it.

The girl is good in just about everything you could imagine.

And it doesn’t hurt that she’s somehow managed to overcome the genetic handicap of having Tia as her mother and The Teaching Dutchman as her father. She’s beautiful, both outside and in.

With a quick wit, an infectious laugh, and one of the biggest hearts I’ve ever had the privilege to be around, Boo is the epitome of what young ladies should be.

Those of you who aren’t relatives and who have read this far might be wondering if I am — possibly — a tiny bit biased. And, yes, I fear that I am. But, and let me strongly reinforce this but, I am not wrong in this.

Boo is the daughter I wish I’d had. She’s a daughter to make any parent — or uncle — proud.

I am so excited that I’ll get a chance to watch her grow, mature and flourish as she moves from being an outstanding young lady to a stunning woman, able to dazzle with academic brilliance and physical grace and beauty.

Happy Sweet Sixteen, Boo! You’ve got a wonderful journey ahead. I’m so glad I get a chance to watch you go.

Also a belated happy birthday to her dad, The Teaching Dutchman. Sorry, dude, but it’s her Sweet Sixteen. Just getting older doesn’t really match up. Still, we’re glad you’re here.

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It Stands To Reason

When little dudes learn to crawl it’s a very mixed blessing.

On the plus side of the ledger, it means your little girl is growing up and moving out to experience the world and is on time for her developmental milestones. She gets to explore and see the new things over her very tiny horizon.

On the minus side of the ledger, she gets to explore and see the new things over her very tiny horizon. When you go away and then come back, he won’t be where he was when you left him.

In fact, he’ll probably be over near some very delicate electronics. Drooling on it. Or seeing how good it tastes. You know, as babies are wont to do.

Take, for instance, Brina, a teller at my local bank. She’s the proud mother of a very young little dude who, just last week learned to crawl and is making the most of it.

“The first thing he went,” she said. “The very first thing. It was the DVD player. He kept trying to open the tray and smashing all the buttons and, I swear, trying to eat one of the knobs.”

And she is most definitely not alone.

The best news about crawling, though, is as an early-warning sign that walking is not all that far behind. Although, sometimes that walking thing can sneak up behind you with amazing stealth.

In this case, I speak from experience. My middle little dude, Zippy the Baby Boy, never actually crawled. Instead, what he’d do is the low-crawl. Imagine any movie where there’s a scene in an army boot camp. You remember the bit where they have to crawl under barbed wire, with live rounds shooting overhead? In the mud?

Yeah, that’s the low crawl.

And, for Zippy the Baby Boy, that was all that was necessary. His mom and I were worried that something was wrong so we took him to see our pediatrician. Nope, we were told, it’s all good. Some little dudes just don’t like to crawl.

Now, our oldest, Sarcasmo, was the cruiser type. He’d crawl to a couch, then use it to stand up and — leaning on the couch for balance — would begin walking back and forth for fun and exercise. And also for the LOLs, since he knew his mom and dad would come running to snatch away the stuff they’d unthinkingly left on the couch and was now within reach.

We figured that Zippy the Baby Boy would follow a similar trajectory. Nope. Not even close.

One day, sitting up in the middle of the floor, he got a strange look on his face. He watched Sarcasmo, who was 14 months older and at this point had been walking for a while, toddle past. He stared at the walking brother. Then he looked at the couch. And — I could swear — Zippy the Baby Boy shook his head.

Zippy the Walking Boy stood up, right there in the middle of the floor. Needing nothing for balance, having never crawled a day in his life, he simply stood up. Sure, he wobbled more than a little and eventually fell down before taking a step, but he was on his way.

I was not ready for two walkers in the house. Broadly, yes, I was ready because I’d already made the home as safe as I could for a walking, exploring little dude. Emotionally and planning-wise? Not nearly so ready.

There’s a certain mindset you need when you’re being left alone with two extremely mobile and varyingly hostile young organisms that just want to explore everything new.

I like to think of it in a basketball metaphor: This is the fast-break defense. You’re outnumbered and you know you can only do so much, so you have to triage your actions, make each one do the most good for the most little dudes. You’re probably going to get scored on, but your best hope is to delay them as long as possible.

That, however, is a post for another day.

Remember, expect the unexpected. Plan in advance for what you’re going to do with the next behavior. Because I guarantee you, if you wait until it’s manifesting, you’re too late.

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