Tag Archives: Geni

Dude Review: The Incredible Hercules: The Mighty Thorcules

by Richard

I’m going to keep reviewing these until at least one of you drops by the comments section to let me know that you actually bought a collection of the best comic book being published today. And, no, that’s not damning with faint praise. I love The Incredible Hercules: The Mighty Thorcules. It pushes all my buttons. It’s got humor, mythology, humor, butt kicking and smart alekry up the wazzoo. In short, it’s incredible. (Sorry, couldn’t resist.) Oh, yeah. And this collection has the best sound effect ever committed to paper. Take a look.

Come on! How can you not love the purple nurple of the gods?

Let me explain. For reasons too complicated to go into right now, the Incredible Hercules has to pose as his rival, the Mighty Thor (hence the title) and, this being a superhero comic, the two get into a fight. Now, Thor isn’t used to fighting bare chested. Normally that wouldn’t be a problem. But, see, Hercules isn’t above fighting dirty to win and is willing to give out a purple nurple (notice the sound effect “nurp” is, in fact, purple).

Being a serialized comic book, this could be a bit confusing, if it weren’t for the fact that The Incredible Hercules has the most inventive and fun recap pages ever speeding people up to brought. Basically, Herc has to impersonate Thor to stop an invasion of Earth by some particularly dire elves. Things do not go as planned and Thor has to impersonate Herc to stop the whole thing. Once again, things do not go as planned.

Dude! That hurts just looking at it.

Thor, normally one of the most noble fair-fightingest of the Marvel universe takes well to playing the part of Hercules. Perhaps too well. And, of course, notice the sound effect which, if sounded out, will sound suspiciously like nut crack. Hmm. Wonder where they got the idea for that sound effect? (To get a better look at this and the next picture, make with the clicky to enlargen.) [What? That’s a word, right?]

In the series, Herc has been accompanied by a young genius named Amadeus Cho, the seventh-smartest person on the planet. And someone who has even worse impulse control than the notoriously scatterbrained Hercules. In alternating issues, this collection follows Cho as he tries to find out what really happened when his parents were killed.

He’s looking for the man who planted the bomb, not so much for revenge, but to find out if his sister is really alive and, if so, where she is. When Cho finally does find the mastermind behind his personal tragedy, he’s confronted by an aged, bitter and more than slightly insane version of himself and forced into a no-win, life-or-death situation. His solution to the dilemma is uniquely his own.

Because this is a comic book, I wanted to say a little bit about the art. Reilly Brown on the epic Thorcules arc is absolutely fantastic. I mean, you get the expressions you’ve been hoping for when someone describes the action. While Rodney Buchemi doesn’t quite reach those heights on the Amadeus Cho sections, it still does a nice job of telling the story.

In all, I’ll give this book five (5) dudes out of five. It’s, sorry again, incredible. Go out and buy it now. Read it and laugh.

Otherwise. . . Well, let’s just say I wouldn’t want to be you.Let's run it up the flagpole and see who salutes.

Or your underwear.

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Big Dude On Campus, For Certain Values of Campus. And, Truthfully, Big.

by Richard

Nothing to do with college or high school or anything like that. I just liked the headline. Well, it made me laugh. Anyway, I wanted to talk about discovering previously hidden talents. Here’s the deal: Over the last week or so, I actually made several household repairs more complicated than switching out light bulbs. Hey, it’s a big deal for me.

Hidden talent #1: Scruffling around in rocks and fluff. Last year, I and my wife, known to me as She Who Must Have New Decoration, completely tore out and redid our bathroom. The reason I tell you this (other than to brag that we’re still together after that ordeal) is because the contractor didn’t do a totally exceptional job. When it was colder than a former Governor of Alaska’s . . . um. . . shoulder here in Charlotte, I noticed that one of the heating and air conditioning registers was doing a lot more freezing than it was heating. And, of course, that meant that it was my wet feet that got turned into blocks of ice while I stood at the mirror and put on my face. (hey, it’s a long process)

All of which meant that I had to go down under the house into the crawl space. Some genius decided it would be a good idea to cover the bottom of the crawl space with smallish rocks. With very sharp edges. Not fun to crawl on your hands and knees over. Especially when the ceiling/floor above your back keeps getting closer and closer. That’s when the sneezing started.

I shone the flashlight around and saw there was what looked like dryer lint all over the place down there. Well, as it turns out, that’s exactly what was down there. Seems our contractor had, while working on the bathroom, dislodged the exhaust pipe leading from the dryer to the outside. Which led the dryer lint to spew into the crawl space. Now that was fun. I stopped by to fix that with copious amounts of duct tape and then moved onto the grand finalé.

Crawling all the way to the end of the space, I found the disconnected duct and got to work. It was cool, really. I was able to use duct tape on an actual duct. That’s the sort of thing that seriously tickled me. What? I’m easily amused. Move on. I didn’t use just duct tape, though. See, I really didn’t want to have to come under there again. With that in mind, I wrapped wire around the connection and tightened it to the point of cutting off the circulation, if a metal pipe could be said to have any. Then I put on more duct tape to make sure the wire wouldn’t fall off.

When I crawled out of the freezing crawl space I looked like the Abominable Lintman, but it was worth it. The register was blowing even more hot air than I do. Well worth the effort that went into the solution.

That was when I got cocky. And paid the price. . .

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Pole Vaulting

There’s nothing like starting off a Sunday (the holy day of the week if you’re a Christian) by talking about pole dancing. I mean, if you’re going to hell anyway, you might as well enjoy yourself before you go.

I know I’m probably very late to this particular party, but I just found out that there are ladies out there who are trying to get fit by doing a little strip. Sort of. That is, there are fitness centers that show the ladies how to pole dance (you know, like in a strip club. Not that we’ve ever been to one. We’ve just heard about it from some of our less-reputable friends, right, dudes?) and how to use it as a fitness solution.

Because, really, what woman doesn’t look up to strippers and hope for that sort of career for their daughters?

Still, that’s what I call a great idea. I’m all for more ladies learning to dance the pole. (heh, that was a double entandre and I didn’t even mean to do it. I must be a genius. Even if I can’t spell entandre correctly.)

Not only are these “fun and fitness dance studios” using pole dancing to help women get fit, they’re also hosting parties for ladies looking to have a little fun and learn a little something as well. In fact, there might even be a bachelorette shower going on at a local Charlotte studio, pole dance charlotte, right now. I now there was one this weekend as my wife, She Who Must Boogie, was part of it.

I can’t wait to see what she’s learned.

— Richard

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