Tonight, Wednesday night, is New Year’s Eve. The night when all the amateurs go out and drink themselves into stupidity as a way of celebrating the fact that they made it through another year. All of which means, of course, that it’s going to be dangerous out on the streets tonight, so be careful. There are more idiots out there than normal, which is saying a lot.
Before the little dudes arrived, I used to go out with my wife, known to many back then as Wheeeeeeeeee Haaaaaa, to various parties and fun places. Some, admittedly, not so fun. When she was visiting me in Dallas during the winter break from the University of Florida, she accompanied me to a New Year’s Eve party with a friend of mine who I’ve known since fourth grade. I’ll call my friend, oh, just pulling a name from a hat here, John. John was also back in town and said he was going to a great party and wanted to invite us along.
We went. Turns out my friend John had become involved with a bit of a self-improvement cult. And, no, I’m not using the word cult inadvisedly. John drove us to the party and didn’t want to leave. So we spent the night getting harassed about how great the cult really was. I managed to grab a couple of drinks and then slink off to goof off with the host’s younger kids. I found their conversation much more intelligent. I can’t tell you how glad I was to reach midnight kiss she who was not yet my wife, known to me as Where’s The Ring, and then really start begging for a ride home.
There are, of course, far too many other stories of bad behavior on New Year’s Eve to get into here. I mean, does anyone really want to hear the story of missing a garbage bag and covering shoes with vomit and why I still won’t drink vodka 20 years later? I didn’t think so. I know I don’t want to hear it.
This year, we’re going to force our little dudes to dress up, go to a nice restaurant and enjoy ourselves until we watch a fireworks show in Uptown Charlotte. It’ll be different, but I can’t wait for it.
– Richard
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