Those wacky scientists are at it again. In results that run contrary to the very deeply held beliefs of every single dude on the planet over the age of, say, two, these big brains are saying that money can, in fact, buy you a sort of happiness. As long as you spend it on something [...]]]> by Richard

Those wacky scientists are at it again. In results that run contrary to the very deeply held beliefs of every single dude on the planet over the age of, say, two, these big brains are saying that money can, in fact, buy you a sort of happiness. As long as you spend it on something like a massage, rather than a big-screen, high-def television with surround sound and a recliner with built-in mini fridge.

Whuuu-huuuuuuuuuu?

Yeah, I know. I couldn’t believe it either.

Consumers found that satisfaction with “experiential purchases” – from massages to family vacations – starts high and increases over time. In contrast, spending money on material things feels good at first, but actually makes people less happy in the end, says Thomas Gilovich, Cornell University professor of psychology and Travis J. Carter, Cornell Ph.D. ’10.

But buying experiences provides greater satisfaction as time goes on, in part because of selective memory and because a consumer’s experience is highly subjective, making it much harder to make negative comparisons. Consumers also find it easier to decide on experiences, spending money on the first option that meets a set of expectations rather than painstakingly comparing all options.

And, let’s face it, if you’re the type of dude who buys the first flat-screen, hi-def television with surround sound and a recliner with built-in mini fridge he sees, well, there’s something deeply wrong with you. Half the fun of a new purchase is finding and reading everything about what you’re going to buy, comparing and contrasting and then hassling salesmonkey with questions that make it sound as if you really know what you’re talking about when, in fact, you’re just stringing together barely comprehensible babble as well as a couple of bits of information you got from the last salesmonkey. Or maybe that’s just me.

Anyway.

Still, there is hope for makers of CDs and flat-screen televisions. The research found that how people view a purchase – as an expensive boxed-set or as hours of enjoyable music – also influenced their level of satisfaction.

Phew. For a minute there, I was seriously worried about that.

Me? I view that sort of purchase not as an experience or as a big box. I view it as mine, mine, MINE, ALL MINE. YOU CAN’T HAVE IT BECAUSE IT’S MINE!!!! HA! HA! H– erm. Ah. Sorry about that. My greed lust for life got the better of me for just a minute.

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I’d thought that as he grew older (he’s now approaching [...]]]> Some things, it seems, never will change. Take my middle little dude, just as a for instance. Zippy the monkey boy got his name because, as a little little dude, he would climb anything he saw. I mean anything. Couches, legs, counters, trees, fences, cars. Seriously. Anything.

I’d thought that as he grew older (he’s now approaching his 15th birthday) he just might have grown out of it. Turns out I was wrong. Very, very wrong.

When we were at the beach for our family vacation last month, Zippy and I parted ways after the deep-sea fishing trip. He stayed behind to eat lunch with some of the cousins his own age, while I headed into town for a little shopping. What can I say? That’s how I roll.

Anyway, he headed home with the cousins to an empty condo. There was no one home. To top it off, the front and back doors were locked and, he said, he couldn’t find any way in.

So, what did he do? Did he decide to stay with the cousins? Did he ask an adult for help? No. Of course not.

He reverted to type.

Zippy the monkey boy decided to climb up the outside of the condo to the second-story balcony, clamber over the iron railing and then open the sliding-glass door to get inside. Luckily, the sliding-glass door was unlocked and he got in without incident.

Here’s an artist’s conception of Zippy the monkey boy getting into the empty condo.

Considering the artist has never met Zippy, well, let’s just say it’s a pretty good likeness.

– Richard

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