Tag Archives: Entertainment

I Am Outta Here. . . For Now

Taking a little time to myself, dudes.

While Hyper Lad and my wife, known to me as She Who Must Be Reaching For The Phone Even Now, are left to fend for themselves, I’m off to the land of the sunshine and alligator. With no one to actually make the meals they so very much enjoy complaining about while they’re eating them, the two of them are going to have to do a bit more ordering out than usual.

I’ll be in Florida with some dudes I’ve known since grade school back in Texas. We’re hitting the beach and then hitting the stadium to watch the Gators devour some Razorbacks.

Since I’m going to be there, I can’t very well be here.

Sorry. Bilocation still isn’t one of my many talents. No matter how much I’ve tried.

I guess I’m not a saint after all.

I’ll be back on Tuesday, which means that from now until then, you’re going to be seeing some low-content mode entertainment around here.


I know I will.

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Arrrr! It Be Talk Like A Pirate Day 2013

To Hyper Lad’s horror, that most special day of the year has rolled ’round again at last. Welcome, dudes and dudettes, to the most celebrated internet holiday of all: International Talk Like A Pirate Day.

It’s time to be slobbing around the mizzenmast, to threaten misbehaving young dudes with keelhauling, to scream about the topsail and battening down the hatches. It’s time to find your new Pirate Name.

Talk Like A Pirate Day
Illustration by Ghergich & Co.

It’s time to embarrass your young dudes still at home by wandering around and speaking in pirate slang with a horrific pirate vocabulary and seeing things from a pirate point of view. It might even be time to listen to Jimmy Buffett sing “A Pirate Looks at 40.”

Okay, fine, I do this most every day of the year, but this is the day I’m actually supposed to do it.

Over the years, my young dudes have learned to love/hate this particular day. It was funny to them when I first began to celebrate this holiday, but, over the years, it became a bit of an embarrassment for them. I guess I probably shouldn’t have followed each of them into school, shouting like a pirate and forcing everyone to call me by my Pirate Name. And, yes, I might have gone a big overboard when I took to wearing full regalia and waving a cutlass at the approaching school safety officers. But, in my defense, it was fun.

Well, fun for me anyway.

Speaking of fun, I headed over to the International Talk Like A Pirate Day website and found loads of fun stuff to have fun with in a very fun way. See? I told you I was going to be speaking of fun.

I found The Official Talk Like A Pirate Personality Inventory, which sounds very official-like, don’t cha think. I found it to be an incisive look into the various matrices that mesh together to form the cogent bit of grog-drinking, sabre-wielding manliness you read before you.

I am: The Quartermaster (The ship’s disciplinarian).You, me hearty, are a man or woman of action! And what action it is! Gruesome, awful, delightful action. You mete out punishment to friend and foe alike – well, mostly to foe, because your burning inner rage isn’t likely to draw you a whole lot of the former. Still, though you may be what today is called “high maintenance” and in the past was called “bat-shit crazy,” the crew likes to have you around because in a pinch your maniacal combat prowess may be the only thing that saves them from Jack Ketch. When not in a pinch, the rest of the crew will goad you into berserker mode because it’s just kind of fun to watch. So you provide a double service – doling out discipline AND entertainment.

There’s also the wonderfully funny Pirate Name Generator, which I believe might, in fact, not care what name you put into it and will simply generate a random pirate name for you. Still, when I get the opportunity to be called Pirate Argus The Badly Burnt, well, I’m going to take that opportunity. If you’d like to be a bit more certain of the truthfulness of your name, you can always go here and take the Pirate Name Quiz, which will help you find the perfect pirate name for your personality.

I am, of course, Roger Kidd. I’ve no idea why it’s Roger Kidd, but I like what it has to say about me: Even though you’re not always the traditional swaggering gallant, your steadiness and planning make you a fine, reliable pirate. That is, um. . .Arr!

So get out there and grab some booty, terrorize the parrots, and kiss the cannon, dudes and dudettes. Have a little fun today.

And if you can embarrass your kids a little (or a lot) along the way? So much the better.

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Avenge This

by Richard

It’s something I find myself saying a lot: I’ve waited more than 33 years for an Avengers movie and this one was worth the wait. No, really.It’s true. Why I find myself repeating that all the time is another question entirely.

In all seriousness, the Avengers movie from Marvel Entertainment and the House of Pain (Sorry. I meant, Disney) came out about two weeks ago and blew past $1B in box office like it wasn’t even trying.

I’m not sure if this movie will have the staying power to surpass Avatar, which brought in about $2.78B in box office, but it’s certainly looking to be the highest-grossing movie in the superhero genre.

But, dudes? I really couldn’t care how much money this movie makes. It was magnificent! It was brilliant! It was explodey! It was funny! It was, in short, everything I ever wanted an Avengers movie to be. Mostly because it was real and not one of those movies that continue to exist in my imagination.


Building on the backs of the previous Marvel Universe movies (Iron Man, Iron Man 2, Thor and Captain America), this movie brought together these disparate characters, along with Hulk, Black Widow and Hawkeye and the omnipresent Nick Fury, mashed them all together with Loki, an invading army of aliens and a surprise villain, and produced a two-hour shot of pure awesome.

You know how, when a movie’s really, really, really good, people will clap when it ends? Yeah, the entire audience in my showing was hooting and hollering and clapping and cheering during the movie. In fact, there were two scenes (both involving the breakout star of the movie — that 7-foot green rage monster known as the Hulk) that were possibly the funniest scenes I’d seen in years at a movie. And that included several alleged comedies.

This one had it all. Great dialogue. Actual characters. Amazing spectacle. Humor. Danger. Action and thrills. And even a tiny bit of pathos.

And, like any good entertainment based on the eternal now of comic-book storytelling, it left us with goosebumps with the small mid-credits cameo scene of the bad dude behind it all. You might not know who it was if you weren’t a big Avengers fan prior to the movie, but, trust me, this is a big deal.

If you don’t recognize that character, just run your select over the following white text: Thanos, the mad god of Titan. He’s so bad, his girlfriend is Death. Literally.

So, yeah. It’s a big deal.

Even with all the explodey bits, I think it remains a great family film provided your little dudes are older than, say, 5 and can handle the loud noises.

Go see this now. In the theaters. When it’s as big a spectacle as it should be.

As big a spectacle as it needed to be, after I had to wait most of my life for it.

You’ll be glad you did.

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