Remember way back when Dennis Miller used to be funny? Yeah, I know. Hard to reach back that far. Still, he was at his funniest when he was at his angriest, when he was on a rant.

I’m not that funny, but I’m about to go on a rant. And I do mean to go [...]]]> by Richard

Remember way back when Dennis Miller used to be funny? Yeah, I know. Hard to reach back that far. Still, he was at his funniest when he was at his angriest, when he was on a rant.

I’m not that funny, but I’m about to go on a rant. And I do mean to go off on it.

Back on Valentine’s Day, we got a comment entered in an post that was so old we had to blow the spiderwebs off it so we could actually read what we wrote. Which means, usually, we got spammed by some kind of robot. And not the fun kind. This robot-installed spam was hawking academic papers that you could buy.

Yeah, that’s right. The place, which I will not dignify with a link, is a cheating factory.

There’s an argument that buying papers off the internet isn’t cheating. That those papers only serve as a guideline to the — ha! — students who buy them. A way for them to help focus their thoughts.

Yeah, right. And I’m the Queen of Iceland. Admittedly, I do look good in a nice mauve prom dress and a tiara, but Iceland doesn’t actually have a queen. I think you get my point.

The purpose of an essay is not to punish the students. Well, most of the time. Seriously, it’s so that the professor can make sure the students have actually grasped the point of a section of knowledge and are able to synthesize ideas, resolve contradictions and form coherent opinions about that knowledge. These are all important skills. And buying papers off the internet doesn’t help achieve that goal.

I know I’m speaking as a very old person here. There’s no student who likes writing an essay. I know I didn’t when I was that age. But, now that I’m old, I can appreciate what it’s trying to accomplish. It’s a worthwhile goal. That and it’s fun to watch little dudes suffer like that.

I still remember the two all-nighters in a row I pulled in trying to write a coherent paper about Kurt Vonnegut’s Jailbird. That thing, like most of Vonnegut’s books, is a mass of twisting narrative that can confound the most agile mind. Of which mine was not. Still, I managed to get the paper done on time and turn it in. I got a “B” and counted myself lucky. I later found out I got that high a grade because the professor felt sorry for me when he saw how I looked when I turned it in. I know, how could he tell the difference? Har, har.

Still, even though it’s hard, people need to learn how to write coherent bits of narrative. You will be judged on how well you write. No one’s going to demand that anyone write as well as Christopher Moore or anything, but you have to be able to get your ideas across in print, or pixel as the case may be.

I just do not like these kinds of services. I think they cheat the professor and the student. And that’s not good.

Okay. I’m done. End of rant. Go about your business.

Related posts

• Trade Off (0)
• Freaky Friday: The Mist (1)
• Dude Review: Under The Dome (0)
• My Place, And The Putting Me In Thereof (0)
• Freaky Friday: Gang Green (1)

Hey, remember when you could wear shirts and not have someone’s logo or be shilling for some company’s cruddy product? The plain white t-shirt. Well, those days are gone. And I mean far gone.

But have I got a deal for you. Now you can walk around proclaiming just how smart you really are. You [...]]]> by Richard

Hey, remember when you could wear shirts and not have someone’s logo or be shilling for some company’s cruddy product? The plain white t-shirt. Well, those days are gone. And I mean far gone.

But have I got a deal for you. Now you can walk around proclaiming just how smart you really are. You can be seen in Dude!Wear, the preferred sartorial choice of the discerning gentleman. Either that or those dudes who can’t find anything clean and pick out the shirt closest to the floor in the smallest pile, on the general idea that the heat and pressure generated by the untidy neo-mountain of dirty clothes should have pressed the filth out of the shirt and into the carpet. Worry about the carpet later.

What am I talking about? You know, I’m not really sure, but I do have a couple of pictures.

Wow! Those do look pretty cool. If only there were a place where you could get some. For you and for your friends.

Oh, wait. There is. Check out our Dude!Shop.

Go ahead. You won’t be ashamed to wear these puppies around the house. Well, not much anyway.

Buy. Don’t think. Just buy. We’ll be glad you did.

Related posts

• Trade Off (0)
• Freaky Friday: The Mist (1)
• Cheating: A Rant (2)
• Dude Review: Under The Dome (0)
• Put A Stake Through My Heart, Why Don’t You? (1)

I can’t believe I’m about to write the following sentence. Stephen King’s latest doorstop of a novel, Under The Dome, is ponderous, predictable and, worst of all, boring. And this is coming from one of the biggest Stephen King fans on the planet. Heck. I even read From a Buick 8 and liked it, [...]]]> by Richard

I can’t believe I’m about to write the following sentence. Stephen King’s latest doorstop of a novel, Under The Dome, is ponderous, predictable and, worst of all, boring. And this is coming from one of the biggest Stephen King fans on the planet. Heck. I even read From a Buick 8 and liked it, but this latest forest killer is just plain awful.

Not only was this bad, but I think it’s broken me of my automatic purchasing of Stephen King novels. I had no idea what Under The Dome was about. I just ordered it because I love his novels. When it arrived, I discovered its length and the fact that this was a book he’d tried to write many years before and I began to get a bad feeling about it.

Turns out, my bad feeling was fully justified. Let’s start with the most noticeable thing; it’s length. This puppy could have been put to bed at a third of the length if it weren’t for the fact that Stephen King loves his characters. He stuffs the book full of them and lets us know the backstory of almost every single one of them. And, not only that, he also documents just about every second of every day that the New England town of Chester’s Mill spends trapped under an unexplainable (to them, but not – unfortunately – to us), invisible and impenetrable dome.

Each of the approximately one thousand, nine hundred and fifty three characters gets some quality speaking time and, each time one of them opens his or her mouth, they get to spout some by-now clichéd Stephen King dialogue. Words are changed around and then repeated again and again as if this were a new technique. Some event happens once and then it’s thereafter referred to as “the famous” fill in the blank. Basically it’s Stephen King at his he-really-needs-an-assertive-editor worst.

Once the characters find they are trapped inside the Dome, we’re allowed a look around at the skeletons in the closet, particularly the closet of the local bigwig Big Jim Rennie. It’s Rennie who, when the Dome comes down, begins to take draconian measures to grab power. It’s also revealed that Rennie, along with other town leaders, have been running the country’s largest meth lab near the local radio station. At the time of the book, the only person out there with the highly flammable meth chemicals and enough propane to fuel a battleship, is a religiously crazy meth smoker. What happens next isn’t really a surprise if you think for more than two seconds.

Finally, we find out who or what dropped the Dome on Chester’s Mill. Once I found out, though, I began to beg for mercy. Surely it couldn’t be what I thought it was. It was. It was hoary and dusty when Star Trek used it way back in the 1960s. This trope hasn’t improved with age.

No, I think Under The Dome has definitely given me something to think about. Mainly, why did I buy this thing without checking it out first.

I’m giving this book one (1) dude out of five, if only because I got a little exercise lugging the thing around for a week; a week I’ll never get back. Don’t waste your time or money on this book. Seriously, life is too short.

You can find this review, along with thousands of other, on a great book site, Novelspot. It’s a fantastic site, full of book lovers sharing that love with anyone who’ll listen. You can find all books reviewed here at Novelspot as well.

Related posts

• My Place, And The Putting Me In Thereof (0)
• Cheating: A Rant (2)
• Trade Off (0)
• Me First And The Gimmie Gimmies* (0)
• Dog Training (0)