Tag Archives: Doors

Too Much Time On His Hands

Some days, it doesn’t seem as if there’s enough hours available to get done what needs to be done. I mean, who hasn’t wished for a 30-hour day every once in a while?

Either when you’re having fun or when there’s just so much work due and due right now.

I’ll tell you who.

This dude. This dude right here has way too much time on his hands. And the excess time somewhat explains this. Somewhat. Maybe. Maybe not. You know. . . let’s just take a look at what I’m talking about and we can decide together.

Every Pixar movie is connected. I explain how, and possibly why. Several months ago, I watched a fun-filled video on Cracked.com that introduced the idea (at least to me) that all of the Pixar movies actually exist within the same universe. Since then, I’ve obsessed over this concept, working to complete what I call “The Pixar Theory,” a working narrative that ties all of the Pixar movies into one cohesive timeline with a main theme. This theory covers every Pixar production since Toy Story. 

Jon Negroni, the owner of the blog post in question, then spends the next who knows how many thousand words detailing the order in which the Pixar movies should be viewed, the order in which they take place in the Pixar timeline, starting with Brave, far in the past, and ending with A Bug’s Life, in the distant future.

He finds connective tissue in various characters he says are the same across movies. Like, for instance, the Witch in Brave, who keeps disappearing through doors or not being there when a door is opened, is actually a very-much-aged Boo, from Monsters, who mastered time travel through doors to find her beloved Sully again.

According to Mr. Negroni, the artificial intelligences that manipulated Syndrome to kill off the supers in The Incredibles, continued to develop throughout the intervening years, eventually developing into a faceless corporation called Buy ‘n’ Large, known as BnL, or the company that ruled the Earth, destroyed it by pollution and then arked the remaining humans out into space and special fat suits.

So machines decide to control humans by using a corporation that suits their every need, leading to an industrial revolution that eventually leads to…pollution. When the animals rise up against the humans to stop them from polluting the earth, who will save them? The machines. We know that the machines will win the war, too, because after this war, there are no animals ever to be seen again on Earth. Who’s left?

fanpop.com

Yeah, having Cars take place in a post-humanity apocalypse certainly makes sense and definitely explains why I got such a creepy feeling whenever I tried to watch this particular horror.

Congratulations, Mr. Negroni. You’ve managed to think about this for far, far too long. Even worse, now I’m starting to think about it, seeing how things make sense and start considering ways to explain some of the paradoxes inherent in this thesis.

I believe I might need help. A lot of help.


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Just What Is Sexual Harassment In The Workplace?

by Richard

Sexual harassment is often thought to be sort of like the Supreme Court’s definition of pornography: I’ll know it when I see it.

The problem with that is, it’s wrong, dudes. So very wrong on many fronts.

Sure, some things are open to interpretation, but there’s other aspects of sexual harassment that are so very clean cut and clearly bad for the emotional environment that you can mark them down in an infographic.

Which, oddly enough, is that we’re going to do right now. Compliance and Safety, is a Delaware-based company that provides workplace safety training videos. They’ve been nice enough to lend us out the following infographic.

This normally isn’t something we get into here at the Dude’s Guide. However, I think it’s important. Also, what with Augusta National opening its doors to two, count ’em, two ladies of the female persuasion, gender issues are a bit more in the forefront of the public consciousness these days.

So, with that, let’s take a look at these issues. Those of you working in an office might want to clip this and show it around. Really, work is bad enough. Do we want to make it worse if we can help it, dudes? No, I don’t think so.


Featured By: Compliance and Safety

 

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Rule No. 32

by Richard

Zombieland is a fantastic movie, dudes. Well, it’s fantastic as long as you’re of a certain bent and enjoy very, very dark humor and loads of sarcasm. Yeah, I know, tailor made for this family.

Anyway, the main character has a list of rules that he says will help him survive the zombie apocalypse. One of those rules is No. 32: Enjoy the little things.

Here’s the deal. Although the movie has a lot to laugh about, I think Columbus (our protagonist) is right on the money with this one.

I got to thinking about this one yesterday when I was going to a meeting with a potential client. (For client, read someone who’s so afraid of words they actually thought hiring me was a good alternative to actually sitting down and writing something for themselves.)

Anyway.

To get into the office building, you had to go through either a push-open door or a rotating door. I was reaching to push open the regular door when I stopped. For just a second, I had this vivid flash of chasing my various young dudes through oh so very many rotating doors in their various youths. The laughter and (under my breath) swearing and giggling.

Now? Not so much. If the young dudes do use a rotating door, they’ll just push on through and then out the other side.

Not me. Not this time. I switched to the rotating door and, taking a quick look to make sure I wouldn’t be annoying anyone trying to get inside the lobby behind me, walked around a couple of times before finally exiting in the lobby. I got a strange look from the lady staffing the snack shop, but I didn’t care.

It was just a little thing, but it was fun. A short, sharp break from the everyday. A dip of the metaphorical toes into the sea of silliness that surrounds us all the time but which we hardly notice.

And why the heck not?

Columbus was right. The little things help to make all the rest of it bearable. Admiring a true craftman at her work. Taking a few minutes to watch the interplay of goldfinches, robins and cardinals around a bird feeder. Getting a quick laugh when you see a cat camped out under said bird feeder, waiting on stupid, stupid birds.

The good stuff, the little things, are all around us. We need only look for them. Which is what I’m going to do right now.

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