Tag Archives: Doggie

Digestive Dangers Dog Dogs

There’s a reason human food is called that.

You’re supposed to feed human food to, well, humans. Same thing with dog food. Although, I did grow up with a girl who enjoyed nothing more than snacking on a dog biscuit, but I think that was more along the lines of a cry for attention than an actual appreciation for the crispy taste.

A recent article in the Huffington Post went on about twelve human foods that can harm dogs. And I’m not talking about dropping a huge wheel of Cheddar cheese on your dog’s head. Don’t do that, either. No, these are foods that are dangerous if digested.

In yesterday’s post, I went over the first part of the article, which included foods like chocolate, milk, cheese (see?), avocado, macadamia nuts, grapes and raisins, garlic and onions.

This go round, I start with something I’ve been doing to Buzz, The Garbage Disposal That Walks Like A Dog, with a distressing regularity.

The humans in our family love apples. Their favorite is the Honey Crisp varietal, which is pretty expensive. Because of the cost, I’ve encouraged the young dudes not to share their cut-up apples with the dog, no matter how much he begs. However, they and I have a tendency to give in to those puppy-dog eyes and drop the dog the apple’s core.

Turns out, that’s not such a smart thing to do. Apparently, apple cores (as well as the cores of plums, peaches, pears and apricots) contain cyanogenic glycocides, which you might know better as cyanide. Yeah, the poison. It’s not enough to drop you in your tracks if you eat just one, but it can build up and dogs weigh less than a human, so it builds up quicker.

Another no-no is feeding the dog active bread yeast or dough. If a dog ate active yeast dough, it can ferment in his stomach producing toxic alcohol or could expand in the digestive system, producing dangerous levels of gas and rupture the stomach or intestine.

One of the reasons we’re told not to give a dog chocolate is that chocolate contains caffeine, which is bad for them. (Us, too, but no way am I giving up my Diet Coke.) So it should go without saying that you shouldn’t actually let your dog drink the leftover half-caff, skinny latte. Or any coffee. Or Coke. Or Monster or other energy drink.

Caffeine overstresses the dog’s nervous system, leading to vomiting, hyperactivity, heart palpitations and even death.Bacon, yes, bacon, is bad for dogs. The poor dears.

Finally, most surprisingly, and most horribly, the food we’re not supposed to share with our doggie friends is. . . wait for it. . . not yet. . . bacon.

Yes, bacon.

I’ll pause here while we contemplate the appalling wasteland of the future without bacon. All right, enough. It’s not like we’re being told no more bacon, just don’t give it to Spyke.

Bacon, like most foods high in fat, can cause a dog’s pancreas to become inflamed (called pancreatitis) and stop working. Once that happens, the dog’s digestion gets all wacky and derails nutrient absorption.

All in all, that’s a pretty heavy and extensive list of human foods that are explicitly not for dogs.

Just to be safe, and prevent a lot of table-side begging, maybe we should just not feed Spot any human food at all.

Well, other than broccoli. Buzz, The Garbage Disposal That Walks Like A Dog, loves his broccoli and those greens are good for everybody.

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White Christmas

by Richard

When it begins snowing at 9 pm on Christmas night, that still technically counts as a white Christmas, yeah? I’m going to say yes. Yesterday was, I’m pretty sure, my first ever actual white Christmas.

Not sure what exactly makes a white Christmas so special, dudes. But, whatever it is, we had it.

I don’t feel any different, but there you go.

We did, however, have a lot of fun. Especially the morning after Christmas when we woke up a a white-covered world, full of soft sounds and gently falling flakes.

And then we unleashed the young dudes and Buzz, the garbage disposal that walks like a dog, on the world. Not so much quiet then.

As you can see, Buzz, the garbage disposal that walks like a dog, also runs like a dog. The doggie dude absolutely loved the white stuff falling onto the ground. He ran and pranced and ran and sniffed and ran and barked and ran and played and ran some more. He basically collapsed in exhaustion three times during the morning alone.

He’d come inside, rest near the fire, and then race out the door with the next young dude headed outside.

The young dudes had a great time. They especially loved making snowballs, showing them to Buzz, the garbage disposal that walks like a dog, and then throwing the ball for the dog to chase. Buzz slammed into the snow in headlong pursuit of the ball only to start twirling in puzzlement when he couldn’t find it when it landed. Funny stuff.

I didn’t get to do much snow stuff myself, what with not being able to truly wear a jacket because of my arm in a sling and all, but I did have fun doing one-handed snowball fights. Right up until the time I took a snowball in my unprotected chest and then had the snow slide right into my pants. I knew it was time to pack it up then.

Speaking of which, typing is still a drag. Will sign off now.

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Fluffy Doggies

by Richard

Sorry for the rant yesterday, dudes. I promise not to bring up politics much here. It’s just sometimes I’ve got to speak out when the stupid hurts to much. The stupid!! It burns!!

Anyway, here’s some cute pictures of Buzz, the dog that walks like a beaver, to make up for it.

Here he is in psycho-killer mode.

This is Buzz resting after having disposed of the evidence. Well, as you can see from the bone on the left of the picture, most of the evidence.

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