Tag Archives: Desktop

Arm Yourselves With Home-Made Mini Crossbows

So this is what it feels like to rule the world through massively overwhelming force.

Or just the battlefield that is my home.

Yes, dudes, when you can weaponize hair clips, you know you’re on This screen grab is from the video posted by TheKingOfRandom.com and showing you how to create a mini crossbow from hair clips, popsicle sticks, hot glue and twine.the top of the family heap. Luckily for you out there in reader land, I’m feeling in a benevolent mood and I’m going to show you how I learned a method of creating a mini crossbow that can fire wooden matches, either lit or unlit, a distance of several yards.

This, dudes, is how you protect your cube.

Or just annoy the little dudes until they get angry enough to actually build one of their own and start firing back.

Whichever.

A big tip of the hat to my writing pal, The Dragon, for sending me the link that showed me how to create the massive crossbow gap that currently exists in the not-so-friendly-anymore confines of Casa de Dude.

Here’s the clip.

Pretty neat, no?

Pretty neat, yes indeedey oh!

If you’re like me and do better with written instructions, you can go here to download a .pdf listing all the gear you’ll need and the steps necessary to weaponize hair-care products.

I’d love to see whatever you dudes come up with after watching the video and checking out the instructions. Mine didn’t look quite as good as the ones here, but not bad and, even better, it worked.

Thanks to the mini crossbow, I now possess an almost insurmountable advantage in desktop weaponry. I shall rule with my iron fist, velvet glove optional.

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Isn’t There Supposed To Be More To Life Than Just Work?

On my way to work at Awesome Elementary School the other day, I started yelling at the radio. Okay, sure, not that unusual, but this was because of a commercial.

It was a commercial for some sort of remote-desktop software that lets you see and manipulate files on your work computer even when you’re not on site. I’m not going to put the name of the company here because I don’t want to give it any sort of pub.

The gist of the commercial went along the lines of “why drag yourself in to the office when you’re sick when you can work from home with . . . (insert name of silly company here.)”

Really? Really?

This is what we’ve come to?

When you’re sick, when you should be concentrating on getting better by getting rest and possibly some extra sleep. . . we’re supposed to feel guilty about not being at work?

I know the economy is horrible and it’s a hiring market out there, but this is getting ridiculous. We’re expected to have smartphones on and with us at all times so we can check on work e-mail as soon as it’s necessary. We have to be in contact at all times. It’s almost like we’re a nation of doctors, all on call every night, waiting for something of importance to be delivered. And when it is, we’re supposed to act on it at once.

The American worker has the fewest paid vacation days in the entire Western world. The fewest. And there actually are people who see that as a serious plus to our industrial/service organizations. I consider it a horrible minus. Study after study has shown that a relaxed worker is a better worker, someone who will do more creative work than the dulled-by-endless-days-of-drudgery worker.

And yet we still limit people to, if they’re lucky, two weeks of vacation out of the entire year. Two weeks. A mere 10 days out of 365, not even 3% of the year.

Still, it’s not enough. Now we’ve got a company that wants to guilt us into working from home when we’re sick. When we’re sick, and this company actually has the gall to make it sound like working from home when you’re sick is something you should be proud to be doing.

Dudes, just be sick. Focus on getting better. Really.

Take it from me, when the revolution comes, that company will be the first up against the wall.

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Hiding Away From The World

by Richard

Don’t try to tell me napping isn’t the most important part of the day.

Seriously, dudes, just ask any infant. They’ll tell you a good pre-nap snooze, right before the big afternoon nap, really is essential for those wanting to get ahead. Or even get a bottle.

Napping is important. All the more important for big dudes such as ourselves who have to work all day. But, and I tell you this not from experience, but from a . . . friend, a guy I know who knows another dude, it’s really hard to nap on top of your desk without anyone in power finding and freaking out.

That’s, you know, what I heard.

Still, sometimes there just isn’t any alternative. Say, maybe at lunchtime. When you need that little bit of shuteye that will get you through the afternoon with more energy than a salt-stunned slug.

Which is why I love this little doo-dad.

The Ostrich Pillow is a (and I’m paraphrasing the dude who paraphrased the creators) micro-environment. Basically a soft, warm, possibly fuzzy, tube in which you insert your hands and head.

You get to hide away from the world’s problems and catch a lovely nap right on your desk.

Best of all, if you take one of those sleep of the dead naps, your drool won’t be spilling out over the desktop and getting papers disgustingly wet.

Nobody needs to see your nap drool.

Of course, should that be the case, you’re probably going to need to wash this puppy a bit more often than a non-drooler.

I’m seriously in love with this thing. Well, in love with the idea of it.

At one job, I’m in school and the thought of napping when there’s students around . . . Well, that’s just frightening. I need to be on top-level defense around those wildings. And, in the other job, you know, the one that allows me to do this sort of writing, well, there’s no one around to tell me I can’t stretch out on the floor and get a few zzzzzzs.

Not, I hasten to add, that I would ever do anything like that. Or at least admit to it somewhere my darling wife, known to many as She Who Must Be Keeping Us All Honest And Working Hard, or, more abbreviated, The Imperative, could read about it.

Nope. No naps at home for me. No, siree.

Still, I wouldn’t mind trying out one of these Ostrich Pillows. Purely for research purposes, you understand.

 

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