Tag Archives: Deodorant


by Richard

Hey, guess what? Today is the second day of summer.

Despite the fact that temperatures have been hovering in the mid- to high 90s (F, not C) for the past month or so, it’s only just now (well, yesterday) that we can say it’s official.

I count myself very lucky to actually be on vacation, actually on a beach, here in the first few days of summer. These are the days when, as a young dude myself, I used to just take a few minutes and plan out exactly the sort of fun I was going to have all summer long.

Because, let’s face it, when you’re a young enough dude, summer lasts forever. I never thought about summer’s end. As soon as school let out, it was time for the eternal now. The days were long. The nights were warm and it was time to get out there and start sweating up a good time.

That starts to change, though, as we age. Getting jobs where you don’t actually get to have a couple of months off during the summer to recharge and enjoy yourself. Yeah, those job things certainly do take something away from enjoying summer. Not much fun to head out into the blazing heat, 90 degrees and 90 percent humidity, wearing a tie, jacket, button-down shirt and a deeply held hope that your deodorant actually will hold out long enough.


This summer, though, I’m actually on the beach, enjoying the waves and being extremely glad there’s actual effective sunblock you can wear outside and not worry about turning into a scalded, super-sensitive red beast of a dude. Believe me, in my youth, many were the days I would overstay my welcome in the sun and have to limp around the house, my skin feeling stretched taut enough to break with a wrong move.

Even if you’re working today or tomorrow, think about Rule No. 32. Enjoy the little things. Get home. Get out of the work clothes and into something relaxing. Head outside. Even if it’s only for a few minutes. Run your toes through the grass. Let nature fill you up.

It’s summer, dudes. Take advantage while you can.

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What’s That Smell?

by Richard

I get the feeling I need to be paying the estate of Lynnyrd Skynnyrd a lot of money. I keep wandering around the young dudes and asking out loud, “What’s that smell?”

No, it’s not the smell of burned and overcooked food wafting from my kitchen. I’m pretty sure it’s dudefunk. Or it’s even worse variant — teen dudefunk.

There’s just something about a teenager, someone who often doesn’t actually care that much about his personal grooming in the first place, hitting the teen years. I’m seeing — smelling — it mostly from the two older young dudes in the house. The only reason Hyper Lad isn’t stinkin’ up the joint is he hasn’t hit puberty yet so he’s not producing the stinky kind of sweat. Yea for prepubescence!

Seriously, I have to fight with the little dude to actually take a shower. I mean, I’d better like what he’s wearing on Friday because that will be the only thing he has on until I grab him by the scruff of the neck and throw him into the shower on Sunday evening.

I’ve even thought of fogging their rooms with deodorant spray while they’re sleeping. I’d do it too, if I didn’t think I’d have to use lethal amounts to make any headway on the funk.

So, here’s to you, teen dudes. May you discover — in a big way — that girls aren’t all into the funk. Funky, sure. Just not the funk.

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Freaky Friday: You Smell Ugly*

by Richard

Humans (thankfully for those of us who live in a household full of teenaged boys) have a really lousy sense of smell. I mean, sharks can smell a drop of blood a mile away. Bloodhounds can track a days-old trail through swamps and over rivers. We can’t even tell who cut the cheese in a crowded room. Or whatever.

Turns out, that might be a bit of a blessing.

Especially if you’re not Brad Pitt. And, other than the Pitt-ster himself, who is?

What I’m talking about this is, of course, science! According to some relatively recent research, smelling bad makes you look ugly. Sort of.

“We report an experiment designed to investigate whether olfactory cues can influence people’s judgments of facial attractiveness. Sixteen female participants judged the attractiveness of a series of male faces presented briefly on a computer monitor using a 9-point visual rating scale. While viewing each face, the participants were simultaneously presented with either clean air or else with 1 of 4 odorants (the odor was varied on a trial-by-trial basis) from a custom-built olfactometer. We included 2 pleasant odors (geranium and a male fragrance) and 2 unpleasant odors (rubber and body odor) as confirmed by pilot testing.”

Firstly, rubber smells bad? News to me, I guess.

More importantly, though, what the researchers found was that, in the presence of the unpalatable odors, participants found the pictures of the various men to be significantly less attractive.

“The results showed that the participants rated the male faces as being significantly less attractive in the presence of an unpleasant odor than when the faces were presented together with a pleasant odor or with clean air (these conditions did not differ significantly). These results demonstrate the cross-modal influence that unpleasant odors can have on people’s judgments of facial attractiveness. Interestingly, this pattern of results was unaffected by whether the odors were body relevant (the body odor and the male fragrance) or not (the rubber and geranium odors).”

This has a lot of implications, especially for the aforementioned teenaged boys.

Sarcasmo is a young dude who is aggressively anti-popular. What I mean by that is that, rather than take a chance at rejection, he makes sure to indulge in activities or behavior that will make sure folks don’t think he’s trying to be popular. That way, if someone doesn’t like him, it’s not him they don’t like, but, rather, the behaviors in which he’s consciously engaging.

Which is my long-winded way of saying we have to make sure he wears deodorant. When we forget to remind him. . . Well, let’s just say even we, as parents, don’t want to hug the young dude.

Anyway, I think this might prove to be an actual incentive for him to wear the deodorant more often. And maybe even a touch of cologne. Smell better and folks think you’re better looking. A pretty easy bit of advice to follow.

The only question now is if it will actually penetrate that teenage force field of “I know everything and you’re an idiot” surrounding the young dude.

*Notice the difference if I’d put a comma between smell and ugly. Were it there, I’d be calling you (well, not you) ugly. No comma and I’m saying it’s an ugly smell. Okay, maybe I shouldn’t be reading grammar books for fun.

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