Tag Archives: Crash

A New Low For Interns

Just how bad does an intern have to mess up to make an entire US government department issue a press release disavowing the intern’s actions?

Apparently this bad.

San Francisco’s KTVU news was running a story on the crash of the Asiana Flight 214, which ended up in at least three deaths and many more injured when it crash landed at San Francisco’s airport.

To make sure that its graphics and newscasters had the correct spelling of the names of the crew on the flight, KTVU contacted the National Transportation and Safety Board, which has jurisdiction over plane crashes.NewImage75

They got hold of an intern, who, apparently, had given his brain away for the afternoon and was running on — well, I’d say autopilot, but that’s almost as bad as what the intern did — pure bodily functioning, with no brain work at all.

Yep, the intern said, these are the names.

Read them carefully. Sound them out in your head.

Yeah, not only did someone think this was funny, but multiple people at the news station saw these names and said, basically, “Looks good to me. Let’s run it.”

Firstly, do I have to even suggest just how insensitive it is to make fun of the crew in this instance. We still don’t know exactly what happened, but even crew that might have been negligent don’t deserve this sort of thing to happen to them.

Secondly, I think the racism thing is pretty blatant here and not something I need to go into.

The thing I can’t believe is that the KTVU reporters, graphics folks and anybody who happened to be at the station that day didn’t take a look at these names and think that — maybe — something might not be quite right. Possibly they should suggest another call to someone else to — you know — double check the names.

The NTSB has issued a press release stating that “a summer intern acted outside the scope of his authority when he erroneously confirmed the names of the flight crew on the aircraft.”

The NTSB later issued another press release saying that, although the intern erroneously confirmed the names, they actually originated at the television station. Which means, they’re saying the news crew came to the NTSB and said, are these names — Captain Sum Ting Wong, Wi Tu Lo, Ho Lee Fuk, and Bang Ding Ow — the actual, real names of the plane crew?

And the intern thought nothing of it? And the news crew actually went to the NTSB with that?

I really don’t think the full story has been released on this one yet, nor do I think it ever will be. The intern will be running for cover, the NTSB will stonewall until the whole thing goes away and the KTVU will start hitting extra hard on all those prostitutes walking the streets so they can stir something salacious into the pot to make people move on from their perfidy.

Not just a new low for interns, dudes, but a new low for television news (which I honestly didn’t think was possible) and for people in general.

 

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Satur-Dude Sensation

by Richard

Welcome, one dude and all, to this, the first day of the last month of the year.

Now’s the time when the end of the year really starts doing that looming thing, where it creeps up from behind you and then towers over your head, blocking out the sunlight, the only way you know its there is because of the soft, faintly garlicky smell of its warm breath caressing the nape of your neck and you know you shouldn’t turn around, but you do anyway?

Know what I mean?

Basically we’ve got a lot of stuff to get ready for.

Like a lot of you, I send out an end-of-the-year letter detailing the state of things here in Casa de Dude. Unlike a lot of you, though, I probably spend far too much time on mine. I normally send out a two-page newsletter full of fun stuff, odd pictures and snippets of news. I try desperately to be entertaining, rather than be a crashing bore like the letters of some people.

They’re probably not all that funny, but watching me clown around and vamp for the laugh is, I’m told, lightly amusing. I’ll take it.

And I’m sure I’m missing something. Something important I should be worrying about near the end of the year, but, for the life of me, I’m not sure what it is. Hmm. I guess if it was important I would have remembered.

With that in mind, I’m going to leave you now so I can get back to work. I’ve got to try and find some way of making this sow’s ear look like a silk purse. Oddly, that wasn’t a metaphor.

 

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It’s Imperative That I Not Say That Any More

by Richard

I think you’ll agree that I don’t like to use real names here on The Guide. No, really, dudes. It’s true.

I like to use nicknames for people because 1. I don’t want to have to go to all the trouble of actually contacting people I’m going to be writing about and getting their permission and I’d probably feel compelled to do that. And 2. Using nicknames can be so much more fun.

Although sometimes it can really get me in trouble.

For instance, Sarcasmo, my oldest young dude, used to be known around here as George of the Jungle because of his car-driving skills. You know the George of the Jungle theme song? The bit where it goes “. . . Watch out for that . . . tree! Oooooh.” That part?

Yeah. It seems Sarcasmo crashed the car for a second time (and for a second time hit a stationary object), this time a tree. So I started calling him George of the Jungle, but that just got him mad. So I eventually switched him back to Sarcasmo. And then he just smirked, so he was happy.

Now. On to the reason I’m writing this.

You see, I rarely use the name of my wife, known to me as She Who Must Be Unnamed. You see what I did there? I keep using different variations on She Who Must Be. . . every time I talk about her. I mean, every time. If I mention wife, then we’re good and I don’t have to give that lady a name.

However, if I mention my wife, known to many as She Who Must Be Red-Neck-Egnized, I have to give her a nickname.

And I’m not going to lie to you here, dudes, sometimes that gets tough. Trying to think up a cute nickname that starts with SWMB. . . and then goes on from there. . . and still be funny. . . It’s not as easy as I make it look.

So, to make things easier, I decided to condense it all down to The Imperative, which, I’m thinking is almost as funny as her ringtone on my phone being “The Imperial March” (aka Darth Vader’s theme). She doesn’t find it quite as funny.

Which means, since this blog does exist for no other reason than to please, we’re back to the different nickname every time I talk about that loving woman.

Yep. Every time.

No recycling.

No cheating.

Every single time.

Unless I can find some way to write around it and not actually have to call her my wife.

Rats.

Who is known to me as. . . um. . . er. . . ah. . . (just a minute). . . She Whoooooo Must Be Named.

Look. They can’t all be winners.

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