Tag Archives: Computer Monitor

Wishing For The Immediate Death Of All Intestinal Butterflies

I think I might have been exaggerating just a touch, dudes, when I said I wasn’t nervous at all about being interviewed on television for a segment on A Dude’s Guide to Babies.

I might be a touch nervous. Slightly anxious. Maybe a bit shaky. Possibly terrified beyond all capacity of rational thought. Or that last one might have been me thinking of a giant Sta-Puft Marshmallow Man. I’m sort of confused right now.

It’s odd, really. I mean, I’ve never been one to be scared of getting up and talking to people. Normally you have to pry the microphone out of my Heston Hands, or else try and get it off my twitching body after getting stun gunned. This time, though. . .

Maybe it’s because I won’t be the one in charge. Someone else will be asking the questions and I’m going to have to sit there, try and look semi-intelligent and answer the questions while trying to be appealing.

I’ve always said, as a radio guest, I’ve got a great face for working in newspapers. Now I’m supposed to come around from behind the notebook and start talking to people like it was no big deal? And deal with Barry, who I’m worried will be having his first coronary live and on-air.

Yeah, I could rent out my intestinal butterflies by the ton and make a lot of money this way. Hmm, not a bad idea, that.

Well, moving on. Mr. DeMille? I’m ready for my close up, Mr. DeMille.

If you’re in the Charlotte area, why not give us a look? If you’ve got nothing better to do on Monday between 11 am and noon. We’re on WCNC’s Charlotte Today. (click on that there and you’ll go to the show’s website, where you can watch us squirm on your computer monitor.) WCNC is on channel 36 if you’re picking up the signal over the air and on channels 6, 120 and 1120 on Time-Warner Cable. It’s also on channel 36 if you’re getting cable through AT&T U-verse like, apparently, me and about three other people in the entire metropolitan area.

Welp, wish me luck today, dudes. I have a feeling we’re going to need it.

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Freaky Friday: You Smell Ugly*

by Richard

Humans (thankfully for those of us who live in a household full of teenaged boys) have a really lousy sense of smell. I mean, sharks can smell a drop of blood a mile away. Bloodhounds can track a days-old trail through swamps and over rivers. We can’t even tell who cut the cheese in a crowded room. Or whatever.

Turns out, that might be a bit of a blessing.

Especially if you’re not Brad Pitt. And, other than the Pitt-ster himself, who is?

What I’m talking about this is, of course, science! According to some relatively recent research, smelling bad makes you look ugly. Sort of.

“We report an experiment designed to investigate whether olfactory cues can influence people’s judgments of facial attractiveness. Sixteen female participants judged the attractiveness of a series of male faces presented briefly on a computer monitor using a 9-point visual rating scale. While viewing each face, the participants were simultaneously presented with either clean air or else with 1 of 4 odorants (the odor was varied on a trial-by-trial basis) from a custom-built olfactometer. We included 2 pleasant odors (geranium and a male fragrance) and 2 unpleasant odors (rubber and body odor) as confirmed by pilot testing.”

Firstly, rubber smells bad? News to me, I guess.

More importantly, though, what the researchers found was that, in the presence of the unpalatable odors, participants found the pictures of the various men to be significantly less attractive.

“The results showed that the participants rated the male faces as being significantly less attractive in the presence of an unpleasant odor than when the faces were presented together with a pleasant odor or with clean air (these conditions did not differ significantly). These results demonstrate the cross-modal influence that unpleasant odors can have on people’s judgments of facial attractiveness. Interestingly, this pattern of results was unaffected by whether the odors were body relevant (the body odor and the male fragrance) or not (the rubber and geranium odors).”

This has a lot of implications, especially for the aforementioned teenaged boys.

Sarcasmo is a young dude who is aggressively anti-popular. What I mean by that is that, rather than take a chance at rejection, he makes sure to indulge in activities or behavior that will make sure folks don’t think he’s trying to be popular. That way, if someone doesn’t like him, it’s not him they don’t like, but, rather, the behaviors in which he’s consciously engaging.

Which is my long-winded way of saying we have to make sure he wears deodorant. When we forget to remind him. . . Well, let’s just say even we, as parents, don’t want to hug the young dude.

Anyway, I think this might prove to be an actual incentive for him to wear the deodorant more often. And maybe even a touch of cologne. Smell better and folks think you’re better looking. A pretty easy bit of advice to follow.

The only question now is if it will actually penetrate that teenage force field of “I know everything and you’re an idiot” surrounding the young dude.

*Notice the difference if I’d put a comma between smell and ugly. Were it there, I’d be calling you (well, not you) ugly. No comma and I’m saying it’s an ugly smell. Okay, maybe I shouldn’t be reading grammar books for fun.

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