Tag Archives: Cologne

Freaky Friday: You Smell Ugly*

by Richard

Humans (thankfully for those of us who live in a household full of teenaged boys) have a really lousy sense of smell. I mean, sharks can smell a drop of blood a mile away. Bloodhounds can track a days-old trail through swamps and over rivers. We can’t even tell who cut the cheese in a crowded room. Or whatever.

Turns out, that might be a bit of a blessing.

Especially if you’re not Brad Pitt. And, other than the Pitt-ster himself, who is?

What I’m talking about this is, of course, science! According to some relatively recent research, smelling bad makes you look ugly. Sort of.

“We report an experiment designed to investigate whether olfactory cues can influence people’s judgments of facial attractiveness. Sixteen female participants judged the attractiveness of a series of male faces presented briefly on a computer monitor using a 9-point visual rating scale. While viewing each face, the participants were simultaneously presented with either clean air or else with 1 of 4 odorants (the odor was varied on a trial-by-trial basis) from a custom-built olfactometer. We included 2 pleasant odors (geranium and a male fragrance) and 2 unpleasant odors (rubber and body odor) as confirmed by pilot testing.”

Firstly, rubber smells bad? News to me, I guess.

More importantly, though, what the researchers found was that, in the presence of the unpalatable odors, participants found the pictures of the various men to be significantly less attractive.

“The results showed that the participants rated the male faces as being significantly less attractive in the presence of an unpleasant odor than when the faces were presented together with a pleasant odor or with clean air (these conditions did not differ significantly). These results demonstrate the cross-modal influence that unpleasant odors can have on people’s judgments of facial attractiveness. Interestingly, this pattern of results was unaffected by whether the odors were body relevant (the body odor and the male fragrance) or not (the rubber and geranium odors).”

This has a lot of implications, especially for the aforementioned teenaged boys.

Sarcasmo is a young dude who is aggressively anti-popular. What I mean by that is that, rather than take a chance at rejection, he makes sure to indulge in activities or behavior that will make sure folks don’t think he’s trying to be popular. That way, if someone doesn’t like him, it’s not him they don’t like, but, rather, the behaviors in which he’s consciously engaging.

Which is my long-winded way of saying we have to make sure he wears deodorant. When we forget to remind him. . . Well, let’s just say even we, as parents, don’t want to hug the young dude.

Anyway, I think this might prove to be an actual incentive for him to wear the deodorant more often. And maybe even a touch of cologne. Smell better and folks think you’re better looking. A pretty easy bit of advice to follow.

The only question now is if it will actually penetrate that teenage force field of “I know everything and you’re an idiot” surrounding the young dude.

*Notice the difference if I’d put a comma between smell and ugly. Were it there, I’d be calling you (well, not you) ugly. No comma and I’m saying it’s an ugly smell. Okay, maybe I shouldn’t be reading grammar books for fun.

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The Smell Test

by (for the most part) Barry

No, you haven’t fallen down a wormhole and into some parallel dimension (unless, of course, you have and, in that case, welcome to this dimension. Call me. Especially if you’re from one of those dimensions where you like to give away gold and diamonds to strangers.).

What I mean to say is welcome back, Barry, our busiest dude. Between an actual office job, several entrepreneurial projects and being the father of two little dudes and two littler dudettes, Barry has very little time to do much more than survive. However, he did make a new-August resolution to show up here more. And so he is.

Take it away, Barry.

Okay, so yesterday, my blushing bride was wandering around the house looking for our oldest son, who’d been skipping out on some chores. It didn’t take her long to find him. She just followed her nose.

The little dude had stashed himself away in our bathroom where he was . . . trying on cologne. Yeah, the little Dude is 11 and already worried about what he smelled like. He was trying on just about every cologne he could find and, since I like to smell good (really good), he had a lot of choices.

What worries me about that is not the interest in personal hygiene, which is admirable especially in a little Dude, but rather his smarts. See, he wasn’t worried about whether or not he liked a certain smell.

Nope. What he’d done was to shanghai his little sister into the process. That’s where the genius comes in. He wanted to make sure that the cologne he put on smelled good. To a girl.

I’m not exactly sure where this is going, but I think it means I’m in for a lot of trouble. The Dude’s going to be a heartbreaker. Or at least he’s going to bankrupt me with cologne purchases. I already know he’s trouble since the smell of cologne piled on top of cologne piled on top of cologne in such a small place gave my wonderful wife a migrane. Which effectively scotched my plans for later that night.

Way to do, Dude!

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Another Shortie Saturday

by Richard

I’m taking today as a rest day, getting geared up for the big day tomorrow.

You know, when Pappa Claus comes down the chimney and fills up my old underwear with ties, cologne and ashtrays made from lumpy bits of clay?

Or maybe it’s just that I forget to clean out my underwear drawer.

Either way, I’m off for a bit of a beach holiday and so. . .

See you tomorrow, dudes.

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