Tag Archives: Cheeseburger

Healthy Foods You’re Probably Not Eating

by Richard

We talk a lot around here about getting and staying healthy. We talk about exercise and having the right frame of mind. I’m thinking we also need to be talking about some foods out there that could be of an immense help to you dudes’ desire not to drop dead in the next seventeen minutes and twenty-one seconds.

Or so.

Via the Huffington Post, by way of U.S. NewsI came across a great story talking about foods that should be wearing costumes and starring in summer blockbusters. Yeah, they’re super foods.

Go check out the article if you’re interested (and you should be) for the full story, but I thought I’d hit a couple of the highlights here to give you an idea, a flavor (if you will) of the information you’ll find there.

The first food they recommend is Swiss chard, which, I’m sure, leaves you in exactly the same place as me. Namely, the town of Total Bewilderment And Buffoonary. What is Swiss chard? I mean, I know about Swiss, which means this is chard that probably has holes in it, right? Is a chard anything like a chad? And should it be hanging?

Turns out, Swiss chard doesn’t have holes. It’s a leafy vegetable with red and yellow stems, as well as dark-green leaves. That dark-green color is a sure sign that the food is going to be packed with nutrients. And, surprising no one, this one sure is. Low in calories, but packed full of the good stuff.

The next recommended food is flax seeds, which, as it turns out, have nothing to do with sunflower seeds and probably shouldn’t be spit out in public. Loaded with plant chemicals known as lignans, flax seeds may provide some protection against cancers that are sensitive to hormones, such as breast cancer. Plus their omega-3 essential fatty acids have heart-healthy effects.

The article goes on to suggest you try to eat them sprinkled on yogurts, salads or cereals.

The last food I want to go over from the article is also the last food I ever want to see on my plate (other than brussel sprouts, which, oh, good lord, I can’t even talk about it). They’re beets. Blech.

Still, (b)eets are one of the best sources of folate. Folate is especially important during periods of rapid cell division and growth, such as infancy and pregnancy.

Good thing I’m not thinking about getting pregnant any time soon because there is just no way I’m going to be eating beets.

I wonder why they didn’t put the cheeseburger on the list of healthy foods you’re no– Oh, yeah. Right. Because you’re already eating cheeseburgers, so it can’t be on the list of foods you’re not eating.


Share on Facebook

Sunday Serenade: Cheeseburger In Paradise

by Richard

Why, yes, I am at the beach, dudes. Why do you ask?

Okay, yeah, I realize that a little Jimmy Buffett while I’m away on the beach is a bit of a cliché, but, come on, I love Jimmy Buffett.

Having grown up (and out. I ate a lot.) in Florida, I think it’s the law that you have to like Jimmy. And call him by his first name like we’re friends or something.

Seriously, his musical catalog is basically the soundtrack to a certain portion of my life. A certain, fondly (if barely) remembered section centered around my time at the University of Florida.

So, here, for you to enjoy is a great song about food. And paradise.

Share on Facebook

Trimming The Bush

by Richard

Okay, first. Get your mind out of the gutter. I’m not talking about that bush, I’m talking about the horrible growth that had come to dominate my face as part of my Halloween costume. By the end, it was getting to be far too much trouble.

I would try to eat, for instance, a cheeseburger. When I opened my mouth to fit the burger in, the mustache hairs were so long they would get caught between my upper lip and the food. So, when I bit down, I got a mouthful of mustache hairs and a lot of pain as the hairs were pulled out.

Not cool, dude.

So, yeah, I was ready for it to go. As soon as I got back from walking Speed Racer around on that rainy night, I went straight to the bathroom and got out the trimmer. I tried to cut it short since I don’t like the bare-faced look. I look like a liar. Or a 12-year-old boy who’s been playing with matches and burned off all his hair.

When it got a look at it, I realized it just wasn’t going to work and whacked that bush off clean. Still, I thought it was a pretty good likeness. I signed four autographs and had three pictures taken.


Separated at birth, no.

Even better, my wife (known to me as She Who Likes. . . no, never mind. This is a family website), who had cut off marital relations as the mustache grew, realized the error of her ways as soon as I shaved.

Good times. Good times.

Share on Facebook