Tag Archives: Broccoli

Digestive Dangers Dog Dogs

There’s a reason human food is called that.

You’re supposed to feed human food to, well, humans. Same thing with dog food. Although, I did grow up with a girl who enjoyed nothing more than snacking on a dog biscuit, but I think that was more along the lines of a cry for attention than an actual appreciation for the crispy taste.

A recent article in the Huffington Post went on about twelve human foods that can harm dogs. And I’m not talking about dropping a huge wheel of Cheddar cheese on your dog’s head. Don’t do that, either. No, these are foods that are dangerous if digested.

In yesterday’s post, I went over the first part of the article, which included foods like chocolate, milk, cheese (see?), avocado, macadamia nuts, grapes and raisins, garlic and onions.

This go round, I start with something I’ve been doing to Buzz, The Garbage Disposal That Walks Like A Dog, with a distressing regularity.

The humans in our family love apples. Their favorite is the Honey Crisp varietal, which is pretty expensive. Because of the cost, I’ve encouraged the young dudes not to share their cut-up apples with the dog, no matter how much he begs. However, they and I have a tendency to give in to those puppy-dog eyes and drop the dog the apple’s core.

Turns out, that’s not such a smart thing to do. Apparently, apple cores (as well as the cores of plums, peaches, pears and apricots) contain cyanogenic glycocides, which you might know better as cyanide. Yeah, the poison. It’s not enough to drop you in your tracks if you eat just one, but it can build up and dogs weigh less than a human, so it builds up quicker.

Another no-no is feeding the dog active bread yeast or dough. If a dog ate active yeast dough, it can ferment in his stomach producing toxic alcohol or could expand in the digestive system, producing dangerous levels of gas and rupture the stomach or intestine.

One of the reasons we’re told not to give a dog chocolate is that chocolate contains caffeine, which is bad for them. (Us, too, but no way am I giving up my Diet Coke.) So it should go without saying that you shouldn’t actually let your dog drink the leftover half-caff, skinny latte. Or any coffee. Or Coke. Or Monster or other energy drink.

Caffeine overstresses the dog’s nervous system, leading to vomiting, hyperactivity, heart palpitations and even death.Bacon, yes, bacon, is bad for dogs. The poor dears.

Finally, most surprisingly, and most horribly, the food we’re not supposed to share with our doggie friends is. . . wait for it. . . not yet. . . bacon.

Yes, bacon.

I’ll pause here while we contemplate the appalling wasteland of the future without bacon. All right, enough. It’s not like we’re being told no more bacon, just don’t give it to Spyke.

Bacon, like most foods high in fat, can cause a dog’s pancreas to become inflamed (called pancreatitis) and stop working. Once that happens, the dog’s digestion gets all wacky and derails nutrient absorption.

All in all, that’s a pretty heavy and extensive list of human foods that are explicitly not for dogs.

Just to be safe, and prevent a lot of table-side begging, maybe we should just not feed Spot any human food at all.

Well, other than broccoli. Buzz, The Garbage Disposal That Walks Like A Dog, loves his broccoli and those greens are good for everybody.

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Different Is Bad

by Richard

There are times I wonder if they will ever change. Ever.

Zippy the Monkey Boy is a young man already, had his 18th birthday and everything. For almost since he could express himself (at the time, by spitting stuff out and all over me), Zippy the Monkey Boy has been a picky eater. I mean, that little dude would instantly know if you were trying to sneak some sweet potatoes by him and would spit them way, way out.

He continued being a picky eater all through elementary school and middle school. By high school, he’d made some changes and was willing to try new things like fish.

However, I noticed, that he was only willing to try things that were completely new. He would not try anything that was a variation on something he already liked. I thought that was long past, though.

But I was wrong.

Late last week, I was in the kitchen improvising a dinner. One of the favorite dishes in this house is a peanut chicken and noodles. I normally use a specific type of Asian noodles. This time, though, I didn’t have that kind of noodles. And I had beef slices for stir fry, not chicken.

Still, I thought, it sounded like a good mix.

And I continued to think that, even if I was alone in that while cooking.

“Change is bad, Dad,” Zippy the Monkey Boy told me repeatedly after he asked what was for dinner. “You know I don’t like change.”

He kept up that refrain for the hour it took to finish dinner. He kept it up as I forced him to sit down at the table and start eating.

At which point, he shut up, only opening his mouth to put in more of the peanut beef and noodles. And then he finished his broccoli, got up and helped himself to another serving.

Hyper Lad, too, scarfed down a big helping, despite having mixed feelings about the change before he started eating.

I tried not to be too smug, but it was hard. I kept wanting to tell him, to tell them both, “I told you so,” but I managed to keep myself restrained.

I did tell them I was glad they liked it and, in return, I got a scowl from Zippy the Monkey Boy.

“It worked out this time, Dad,” he said. “But don’t try it again on any other meal. Change is bad.”

And I have to wonder, will they ever change?

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The Big 1K

by Richard

There’s something about big, round numbers — usually multiples of 10 — that we human dudes see as significant. Even when there’s really nothing of significance attached to it.

To wit: This post is the one thousandth post here at A Dude’s Guide.

Hard to believe, but very true. I mean, if you can’t trust the stat counter on your own blog, who can you trust?

You can’t not trust nobody, that’s not who? Or is it whom?


Barry and I started this blog 1,000 posts ago and now just look at us. Well, all right, nothing much has changed, but, hey, we’re still here.

Published on Jan. 27, 2008, here’s our very first post. By Barry.

A Dude’s Guide is a funny and insightful look into what it takes for a Dude to be a better person. We are not saying that we are exceptional people but we try. We will use our experiences and adventures and misadventures to try to help other Dude’s learn and contribute to this Blog.

We will start by using our unique viewpoint on fatherhood and the sticky mess made of it by us and (we believe) most men. We will take takes a fresh perspective on such fatherly conundrums as: How do I change a diaper without getting peed on? How, exactly, do I make the little Dude (or Dudette) burp? How do I manipulate their minds to be good people and eat their broccoli?

We hope to make you laugh, learn and contribute at the same time.

We certainly got a bit more long-winded after that, didn’t we?

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