August is a busy month for me. I’ve got to content with young dudes suffering breakdowns because their school is getting ready to begin again, break out the swords and cudgels necessary to successfully navigate the school-supply crowds at Walmart, and find a way to help celebrates the births of the first two women in [...]]]> by Richard

August is a busy month for me. I’ve got to content with young dudes suffering breakdowns because their school is getting ready to begin again, break out the swords and cudgels necessary to successfully navigate the school-supply crowds at Walmart, and find a way to help celebrates the births of the first two women in my life.

Yes, today and tomorrow we celebrate my mom’s birthday and then that of my sister.

Today is a big year. My mom turns 70, which is something I find absolutely amazing. When I was younger, I always thought of 70-year-old people as so decrepit and old it was a wonder they didn’t just fall apart whenever they took a breath. My mom, though. . . Despite having multiple sclerosis for decades and going through breast cancer, my mom is an amazingly energetic and fun lady.

She’s able to laugh at anything life throws at her and then make sure the rest of her family is having as much fun as she is. She’s warm and funny and loves her grandchildren more than is possibly healthy. Just ask her. She’s also more adventurous than I can believe.

This is a lady who has to use a wheelchair to go any significant distances and must use a walker to drag her MS-damaged leg around her house. And yet. . . This Christmas she’s going on a cruise to Antarctica. Yeah, the land of permanent ice and snow. The most rugged place on earth and she’s headed there for fun. With a wheelchair.

It’s hard for me to think about my sister as anyone other than that little ball of annoyance who had a habit of biting her own arm and then blaming me for it. And yet. . . she’s grown up into her own type of amazing woman.

I only wish I had half her grace under pressure, half of her parenting skill, heck, half of her maturity. I never thought it would happen, but she’s definitely someone to whom I’ll turn for advice whenever I’m stuck.

She and her husband produced two of the five greatest kids I’ve ever met. Admittedly, her kids are probably ranked 2a and 2b (right after a three-way tie for first taken up by my three little dudes). . .

I am a lucky dude to be surrounded by three (can’t leave out She Who Must Not Be Forgotten) strong, intelligent, moral, loving, amazing women. Thanks to them, I know what real women are like. I see the best of femininity on a daily basis and I’m thankful for that kind of luck.

Happy birthday, Mom. Happy birthday, Leslie.

Thanks for everything.

Now get out there and enjoy.

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Especially during the summer, we all hear a lot about keeping ourselves and our little dudes protected from the sun. Wear sunscreen, if you go out, but don’t go outside in the hot summer sun between 10 am and 4 pm, basically most of the day. And that’s good. If all you’re worried about is [...]]]> by Richard

Especially during the summer, we all hear a lot about keeping ourselves and our little dudes protected from the sun. Wear sunscreen, if you go out, but don’t go outside in the hot summer sun between 10 am and 4 pm, basically most of the day. And that’s good. If all you’re worried about is skin damage.

However, there’s also a price to be paid for not going out in the sun regularly, and that’s a vitamin D deficiency. Our bodies are evolved to capture the sun’s ultraviolet-B rays and use them to turn into vitamin D. And that’s great for a hunter-gatherer or agrarian society where people are outside all day.

But what about us modern dudes, those who have overdeveloped thumbs from texting and callouses on our hands from constant typing or fondling of game controllers? Answer: not so good.

Recent studies have shown that Americans have a chronic vitamin D deficiency. Doctors want everyone to be above 30 nanograms per milliliter, but it’s just not happening. Caucasians average 18 to 22 nanograms, while African-Americans average 13 to 15 nanograms per milliliter. And that, dudes, is bad news.

Vitamin D deficiency won’t just result in fragile bones. Every tissue in the body, from muscles and neurons to the heart and immune system have receptors for vitamin D. Studies show not having enough vitamin D on board can lead to a higher risk for developing colon, breast and prostate cancers, immune-system abnormalities that can result in infections and autoimmune disorders like multiple sclerosis, high blood pressure and cardiovascular disease, Type 1 diabetes, and rheumatoid arthritis.

I speak from personal experience. As some of you might remember, I had a heart attack almost six years ago. My preventative cardiologist (the one who’s always on me about my weight and exercising more [or is that She Who Must Put In Her Two Cents?]) put me on vitamin D supplements and said he recommends everyone start taking those supplements.

He’s got me on 6,000 IU of Now High-Potency Vitamin D-3 supplements, which I buy at a local health and nutrition store.

While there can be some effects of vitamin D toxicity if you take too much (nausea, vomiting, poor appetite, weakness, constipation and weight loss as well as dangerous amounts of calcium that can manifest as kidney stones) I’m nowhere near that limit. People have taken as much as 11,000 IU for more than six months without any ill effects.

So, what does all this mean?

I should think it’s pretty obvious. You and all the little dudes and dudettes in the house should start doing a little vitamin D regimin. It’s inexpensive and it can be a real health boost.

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Today normally would be a big day in our household. It’s the day we celebrate Zippy the Monkey Boy’s bursting out into the world. Yeah, his birthday.

Sixteen years ago, Zippy the Monkey Boy came spitting out of his mother like a watermelon seed on its way to a world-record distance. Apparently, when She Who Must [...]]]> by Richard

Today normally would be a big day in our household. It’s the day we celebrate Zippy the Monkey Boy’s bursting out into the world. Yeah, his birthday.

Sixteen years ago, Zippy the Monkey Boy came spitting out of his mother like a watermelon seed on its way to a world-record distance. Apparently, when She Who Must Push Now was giving birth to the little dude, and we said “Don’t push so hard now” she heard only “PUSH HARD NOW” and bore down like you wouldn’t believe.

Fortunately, our doctor at the time had some experience with playing infield on a semi-pro baseball team and made a nice shoestring catch.

Now, I said it normally would be a big day here. And that’s true. But, for the second year in a row, Zippy the Monkey Boy chose slimy fish and mollusks over his family for his birthday. He’s away at the University of North Carolina Wilmington’s MarineQuest camp during his birthday.

Since he’s not around, we’ll have to content ourselves with pretending. I’ve already started teasing his little brother, Hyper Lad, and I’m planning to really irritate his mother when she comes home. It’ll be just like he’s still here.

I kid. I kid.

Sort of.

It’s amazing, really. Zippy the Monkey Boy used to be the sort of little dude who couldn’t take any sort of teasing without getting angry and stomping away upstairs to yell and scream at, well, anything in his way.

He’s grown into a mature young dude who knows how to get what he wants and to want what he should. Which makes his occasional teenage lapses back into teenager-hood all the more jarring.

Still, we’re wishing the little dude well on his birthday. We miss you, Zippy, and we love you.

Enjoy your time away because the day is coming, in about a week, when I’ll pick you up and force you into your very own college road trip. A week away from family and friends with only your worst nightmare — me — for company.

This should be interesting. But not as interesting as the last 16 years.

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